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EVELYN GRAY 



OR 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS 



A TRAGEDY IN FIVE ACTS 



H. I/STERN 




NEW YORK 

JOHN B. ALDEN, PUBLISHER 

1890 






Copyright, 1890, 

By H. I. STERN 

All Rights Reserved. 



^ 



Dedicated to 

GENERAL ELI H. MURRAY, 

Ex-Governor of Utah, 

as a tribute to official fidelity and efficiency, and as a token 

of friendship and esteem. 



DRAMATIS PERSON J5: 



Mormon Bishops, 



Danites. 



Brigham Young, ) 

Heber C. Kimball, >- First Presidency of Mormon Church. 

Dan'l H. Wells, ) 

Orson Pratt, 

George Q. Cannon, 

Orson Hyde, 

John Taylor, 

John D. Lee, 

Franklin D. Richards, 

Joseph Young, President of Seventies. 

J. C. Haight, President at Cedar City. 

Bill Hickman, 

Porter Rockwell, 

Eph. Hanks, 

RoBT. T. Burton, 

Ike Hatch, 

Eliza Snow, Spiritual Wife of Brigham Young. 

Amelia, One of Brigham Young's Wives. 

Lucy Rawdon, An Actress. 

Mrs. Lee, John D. Lee's Wife. 

Tom, Negro Servant of Brigham. 

Levi Savage, Captain of Emigrant Train. 

Mr. Gray, An English Convert and Immigrant. 

Mrs. Gray, His Wife. 

Evelyn, Their Daughter. 

Jas. St. Clair, Her Lover. 

RoBT. NoRRis, His Friend. 

Larry and Biddy Mahone, Irish Converts. 

Jerry Bowles, A Trapper. 

Governor Dummings, Father Parsons, a Minister. 

Judge Letcher. 

Soldiers, Indians, Emigrants, Mormons, Attendants. 



EVELYN GBAY; OB, 



ACT I. 

SCENE I. — New York City. Landing place of 
emigrant vessels. Ships unloading. Passengers dis- 
embarJcing, Bustle, 

Enter llOB NoiiiilS. 
This now is life indeed. This is a point 
Of conteinphition more transcendent than 
The crumbling piles and exhumed sites which tell 
Of fallen empires of antiquity. 
The living breatli of mankind, unimpaired, 
Lingers not o'er those ruins like a seer 
Of old, droning a dirge and making moan. 
But onward wafts, creating newer, fairer. 
Higher commonwealtijs, great in their youthful 

strength. 
Here now, where but few centuries ago 
The sea-tossed mariner appeared. 
The pilgrims clutched th' inhospitable shore, 

Amid the arrows of the savages, 

I stand, upon the eastern gateway of 

An empire, stretching hence from sea to sea, 

For many thousand miles of broad expanse, 

Where in the stead of pristine wilderness. 

Infested by wild beasts and men like wild, 

A thousand cities shadow now their spires 

In the white sheen of garden-bordered lakes, 

And rivers, skirted by the rushing trains. 

The heavenly air of freedom gently blows 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTEBN TURKS. J 

Over the golden grainfields with their fruit 

Waving and rip'ning in the gladsome sun. 

The wains of commerce bear the loaded store 

By tlie strange power of steam, on water and 

On land into palatial magazines. 

Ten thousand wheels and shafts, with smoking speed, 

Labor to reproduce the shapeless fruit 

Of field and forest, and the clotted ore 

Dug from the rugged mountain side into 

The fine embellishments of modern life. 

A refuge and a universal home 

For the oppressed and poor of all the world. 

And how they come, like eager pilgrims to 

A shrine, swarming hither o'er many a sea 

Unto this portal of America! 

Ah, what a motlej^ crowd ! It seems indeed, 

As if all Europe opened wide lier gates 

To send her prisoned populace abroad. 

Behold them liere, commingled and confused, 

Showing the costumes of a dozen lands. 

And making with their varied tongues another 

Babel, truly a diverse company: 

There the sturdy German w ith his swarming brood 

Of chubby offspring — tliere the Hollander 

Serene and stolid, witli his pipe, amid 

The deafening din — there the liot Italian 

Fresh from the Apennines or Campagna, 

Dark-eyed and swarthy — there a family 

Of Swedes from Odin's mystic Northland cold, 

The girls, blue-eyed, with flaxen plaits as thick 

As ship's ropes, — there green Erin's denizens, 

Tattered and poor, j'^et gay and gossipy — 

As woodchucks in the leafv snniniertide. 



8 EVJEL TN GBA Y ; OR, 

Roman and Gaul, Teuton and Scandinave 
Celt and Slav, wafted in swelling numbers 
O'er the sea, with hopeful hearts pour in 
Like a great host on their triumphal march 
Of peaceful conquest to the smiling West 
To win by the mild arms of industry 
The heaven of a free and plenteous home. 

Enter Jas. St. Clair. 

Why, who comes here ? Jim. St. Clair, by all 
that's fortunate, my Damon, my Doppelgaenger, my 
brother. By the shades of the Dioscuri, 1 am glad 
to see you. 

Jas. And so am I, my dearest fellow; I didn't 
expect such luck to day. 

Roh. Nor I, indeed. It's almost too good to be 
real. 

Jas. Where in the world have you come from ? 
Have you tumbled from the clouds like Vulcan or 
jumped from the earth like Medea's dragons ? 

Roh. No need of any such mythological rubbish 
in these modern days of steamboats and railrvmds. 
I have come by the prosy, inatter-o'-fact way of a 
Cunard steamer from Liverpool. 

Jas. From England ? Why the last letter I re- 
ceived from you was mailed from Cairo, and from 
there you were about to sail to Zanzibar to join 
Stanley s new exploring expedition to King Mtesa's 
Land. 

Roh. Aye, and to Zanzibar I safely hied, but, 
scarceh^ there I, was befallen with a villainous, ugly 
fever, which kept me prostrated and raving for a 
fortnight, and when I scrambled up into conscious- 
ne;oS again, our heroic tramper, probably at the instiga- 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 9 

tion of the Shakespearean exhortation, " On, Stanley, 
on!" had incontinently gone and left me behind. 
Well, I took my disappointment resignedly, reflecting 
that in my then fever-worn condition I was not of 
a sufficient embonpoint to serve the black epicures 
on the Congo for a palatable stew, and soon pro- 
ceeded far down the eastern coast of the dark conti- 
nent to Cape Town and the Zulu land, to witness 
Lord " Dizzy's" missionary efforts among the Caffres. 
But of this anon. 

Jas. Did you then go to Afghanistan ? 

Bob, No, I took ship and returned to England. 
Sauntering about among the wonders and antiquities 
of London, I one day came to Chelsea, and re- 
membering a crumpled note of introduction in my 
pocket to Carlyle, I forthwith called on that gruff 
old fire-eater. The grizzly old iconoclast was in 
a pretty humane mood that day, received me kindly, 
and talked long and loud about the grandeur of 
our Western world, and among other things asked 
some information from me in regard to it. Believ- 
ing with Mark Twain, that I could lie but would not, 
I blushingly confessed my ignorance. Thereupon 
he ^otinto one of his Hio-hlandrhodomontades about 
the snobbishness of xiniericans who go gadding awdy 
to foreim realms before they have seen their own 
glorious country, and wound up by telling me I 
ouQ^ht to '' nranof awa hame ac^ain." I thanked him 
for liis sensible advice, took my leave, and embarked 
for America, so here I am, taut and trim, home 
again, and very happy to get back. 

Jas, And happy am I to see you back, my deep- 
browed world- wanderer. What are you about next ? 



10 EVELYN GEAY; OB, 

Bob. Nothing at iDresent. I wound up accounts 
with my cliief this morning, and took an unlimited far- 
lough. He begged me to go out to Utah and write up 
the impending Mormon war, but I don't anticipate 
much of a war there, besides one of words and bluff 
and bluster, and then there is a species of journalism 
developing among some of our knights of the lead- 
pencil especially in foreign correspondence which 
consists in drawing on a youthful imagination rather 
than upon actual observation, describing occurrences 
very much like blind Homer described the fall of 
Troy. Dainty Lids and ambitious, who like Hot- 
spur's coxcomb, would not 

" that a slovenly, uuliandsome corse. 
* Be brought between the wind and their nobility." 

And SO, while the battle is in progress, sit down 
ten miles away and bravely indite you a battle as 
big and as sublimely unreal as Milton's battle of the 
angels in Heaven, to their punch and their cigars. 
With these enterprising, poetical youths I cannot 
compete. However, I have thought of vifeiting theFar 
West and looking around there on my own account. 

Jas. You are not put on the local staff mean- 
while ? 

Hob, No, I have given over the whole hack for the 
nonce. I have just come down here for a quiet 
stroll and a whiff of Seabreeze. When you came 1 
was indulging in a little private spreadeagle reverie 
on the greatness of our country and the future of 
these immigrants. 

Jas, With the accustomed spice of cynicism? 

Hob, Nay, 1 assure you, my tiioughts on our own 
country were as uprightly patriotic as a Fouiih of 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. H 

July oration, and my meditations on these fresh 
citizens were waxing quite elegiac. 

Jas. Was the elegy on our country's fate ? 

Bob. No, how do you mean, my boy? 

Jas. Simply this, that our country may need more 
sympathy at the hands of her true friends in the 
end. These starved foreigners have nothing to lose 
here, but America may be much the worse for their 
wholesale importation of un-American ideas and 
prejudices. 

Hob. Tut, tut, old fellow, never fear. They are 
more burdened with feather beds than ideas. These 
sturdy fellows will make our best citizens, for they 
will be thankful for their improved condition. We 
are all foreigners here, when it comes to that, but 
America's worst foes are those Americans who 
are not satisfied with her republican simplicitj^, who 
fawningly, clumsily, ape European manners, who go 
abroad, and, in spite of kicks and jeers, buy with 
American money the disgusting honor of carrying 
the train of a rotten aristocrac}^ Ugh ! I have seen 
hundreds of such bonanza pages abroad. Let these 
greenhorns alone. They are all right. By the time 
our republican mosquitoes suck the European blood 
out of them, they will be as good voting cattle as 
the politicians could desire. 

Jas. I am afraid their foreign vermin have already 
on shipboard anticipated our native insects in the 
good work. 

Hob. Ha, ha ! You are right, but let us leave this 
theme. I had quite forgotten to inquire about your 
stor3^ What have you been doing since we parted 
arms in the sunny land of Italy. The last letter I 



12 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

received from you was from some out-of-the-world 
frontier town in the west. 

Jas. An Indian trading-post I suppose. You know 
my jaunt to Europe was only on furlough. On my 
return, I reported at headquarters and joined my 
regiment in the west. I was immediately ordered 
to take my company to the front where the Sioux 
war was in progress. We liad some hard fighting 
with that devil, Sitting Bull — but you know the 
upshot. While out in the Territories I witnessed 
some equally enlightened Christian practices with 
the natives, as you saw in the Orient. Tlie 
treachery and swindling of scoundrelly agents and 
government officials disgusted and exasperated me, 
so that I got sick of fighting the poor devils of red- 
skins, whose only redress was war. In spite of the 
clamor of the boys, I resigned my commission, went 
into life as a miner in California, made a fortune 
and lost it by speculating in Nevada mining stocks. 
Then, in rather quick succession, passed through the 
varied careers of a trapper in the Rocky mountains, 
editor in a mushroom city in Montana, school- 
teacher in Arizona and hotel clerk in San Francis- 
co, until at lenorth I succeeded in establishinor a 
flourishing business of my own in Salt Lake City. 

Mob, What, right in the capital of Mormondom ? 

Jas. Right before Brigham's nose. 

Bob. Then you know something about the inside 
life of the saints ! 

Jas. More than is pleasant. I got along with them 
very smootldy, however, did a large business, and 
made mnch money. 

Bob. Well, that is what I call a genuine jolly 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTERN TURKS, 13 

American boy's career. There is nothing like it. 
But what devil of unrest has spirited you away 
from your counter and your customers? 

Jas. I believe I may say it w^as the joint work of a 
god and a devil. 

Rob. Why, my boy, you have forgotten your Sun- 
day-school lessons. How do you make that out? 
Who is the devil ? 

Jas, Old Brigham himself. He is tlie very old 
Beelzebub, never contented when things go on peace- 
ably. In his mean soul he couldn't bear to see the 
Gentiles prospering and unmolested ; his own comb 
had been swelling exceedingly at his success in 
iioodwinking Uncle Sam so many years, so the 
old cock mounts his dunghill of a pulpit and begins 
a terrific crowing against all Non-Mormons. You 
know the result — an imminent war. I perceived the 
gathering storm in time, and sold out my business 
at a very advantageous price and came east. 

Roh. But I cannot believe that the gallant Cap- 
tain James St. Clair beat this precipitate retreat from 
regard to his personal safety. 

Jas, Shall I lay my hand on my sword ? Ah, it 
is gone, and in its place I hold this miserable walk- 
ing stick. No, that measure of precaution regarded 
only the money and not the man. I had no relish 
to lose a second fortune and, one accumulated with 
longer labor than the first; and I knew that at the 
first outbreak of hostilities, the thieving saints would 
rob me of it. But now, as to the god, at least the 
ancients called him one. 

Roh, Ah, hold, let me see, is it not a little sprite 
with wings on his back and a crossbow flung over 



14 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

his shoulder — albeit in a rather immodest state of 
undress, cheery and chubby ? 

Jas. Well? 

Bob, I know tlie Greeks fabled him a god — he 
may have been in the innocent, ancient, golden age, 
but nowadays he perpetrates more deviltry than divin- 
ity. And has the little naked monkey hit you ? 

Jas. I'm afraid he has struck the bull's-eye. 

Hob. It were better it had been Sitting Bull's eye 
— but I feared so, as soon as I saw you. 

Jas. You did ? How did you find it out ? 

Hob. In the working of your handsome counte- 
nance, sir; you have that fitful, distrait, supermun- 
dane, sheepish, beatific, imbecile, guilty, angelic, 
hangdog look that all young lovers wear. 

Jas. Horribile dictu! I hope I have not such a 
Gorgon face, although I do feel very peculiar. 

Rob. Who is the fair charmer ? 

Tas. What did you say? 

Rob. What did you say ! See him now, the ortho- 
dox swain, all deaf and dead to everything around 
him, standing and staring over the sea with wistful 
eye like Longfellow's Evangeline. Is your inamorata 
a green-haired, scaly mermaid, whom you are expect- 
ing to emei'ge from the sea ? 

Jas. Not quite so bad, but I am looking for her 
across the waters. 

Rob. Ah, indeed, where from ? 

Jas. From England. Do you remember Miss 
Evelyn Gray, whom we met with her mother in tlie 
Coliseum ? We were introduced to them by Ander- 
son, the landscape painter, who had met them at the 
English minister's reception ? 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 15 

Mob, Many, I do remember neither the name nor 
the lady, there were so many British crusading around 
in Italy with note-book and chisel in hand. 

Jas, This party was not so armed — you ought to 
remember them, as you had rather a spirited dispute 
with the young lady about some question of anti- 
quity. 

Hob, Ah, methinks I do remember; Is she not a 
slender, blue-eyed blonde ? 

Jas. Yes. 

Rob. With very quiet, self-possessed manners ? 

Jas, Rio^ht aofain. 

Rob. Her imperturbably gentle manner nettled me. 

Jas. Not me, a whit. 

Rob, No, it settled you, as it seems — but I did not 
observe such impression on you at the time. 

Jas, Nor did I at the time, although I never felt 
like myself the moment I saw her. I met her again 
at the artists' ball, which you did not attend. After 
we separated, I came back to America, I found out 
what she was to me. Her image haunted me in the 
wild west. 

Rob. And chased j^ou like a mad roebuck in the 
Rocky Mountains. It reads like a song or a novel. 
The maiden's image gave no rest unto the loving 
youth. 

Jas, Don't make sport of me, it was a tragically 
earnest thing to me. 

Rob. It's a wonder you didn't do sometliing tragic, 
you are such a fiie-eater. 

Jas. I did something desperate enough, when I 
could hold out no longer. I had her address, as her 



16 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

mother had invited me to visit them in England, so 
I wrote to Evelyn and made a clean breast of it. 

Rol, Always the brave soldier, charging the foe in 
the front. And she did not make you a cold Eng- 
lish bow of denial in return ? 

Jas, No, thanks to my good fate. By some inex- 
plicable streak of fortune, I found my sentiments 
reciprocated, and like the honest, sensible, courageous, 
girl she is, she directly told me so. 

Roh. Why the deuce shouldn't she ? But you are 
a lucky dog, and I wish you Godspeed with all my 
heart. I think she is a lovely girl, and will make a 
true and noble wife — though never too good for you, 
old boy. 

Jas. You flatter me. Bob, but I thank you heartily, 

Roh. And now you are on your way to England 
to fetch your bride away ? 

Jas. Indeed I was, and had arranged the time for 
meeting her, when just before I left Utah, Evelyn 
wrote the astounding intelligence that they were on 
the point of sailing for America, and the still more 
incredible, amazing news that her parents had joined 
the Mormons. 

Rol, Joined the Mormons ! Do such people ever 
join the Mormons ? I thought their proselytizing was 
among the mob and the rabble alone. I came upon 
a Mormon street missionary on the Strand one night, 
and the sight of his audience would have given Dick- 
ens the suggestion of a second volume of Oliver Twist, 
but the preacher's face was the most villainous in the 
crowd. 

Jas. Undoubtedly, but they do occasionally catch 
people of a better class. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 17 

Hob, Horrible! And your Evelyn ? 
Jas, She is ineffably s:k1 about it all, but as tlie 
only child and a faithful daughter, considers it her 
duty to accompany her parents in the hope that they 
will become cured of their infatuation in time. 

Hob, Especially as she expects, en passayit^ to run 
inta the arms of a brave young cavalier who, she 
hopes, will not be cured of his infatuation in time. 

Jas, There is a strange coincidence about it all. 

liob. When do you expect her? 

Jas. In a day or two. They have sailed on the 
steamer Britannic, which is due this week. 

Rob, The Britannic ! Wh}^, slie lias run in. I was 
watching her movements an hour ngo. I suppose 
some of these people have been transferred from her 
capacious hold. Didn't you read of her arrival in 
the papers this morning? 

Jas, Papers? No, I have no patience to read 
your old, long-winded sheets. 

Bob, No, you are really not in the proper frame of 
mind, poor fellow ! But, look, whom have we here ! 
My London street preacher, as sure I live. 

Unter Mr. and Mrs. Gray, Evelyn, Larky and 
Biddy Mahone with other Mormon converts^ led 
by John D. Lee. 

Jas, O God ! my Evelyn ! 

Eve. James, O James, is it you ? [^Rushes to him,'} 
Jas, My own, my own, my blessed one ! 
Eve. At last! 
Jas, At last I hold you. 

Eve. It is like a blissful dream — and yet it is so 
truQ, 

2 



18 EVEL TN GEA Y; OR, 

Jas, After these long months of waiting, after all 
our delightful anticipations, do we meet thus ? 

Uve. Ah, I think of nothing else now, love ; I see 
only you, only you. We are together now, never 
more to part. 

Jas, No, my darling, never. 

Mrs. Gray. Evelyn, is this not rather a public place 
for such a scene ? 

JEve. I cannot help our meeting here, dear mamma, 
and I care not who looks on ; he is my true and own 
betrothed, my master and protector. 

Jas. How do you do, Mrs. Gray ? I hope joii will 
excuse me. I am to blame for this mistake. In my 
excitement, I did not observe that the ship had 
arrived, and so came upon you unawares. I assure 
you it was wholly unpremeditated. I am sorry for 
my awkwardness. 

3Irs. Gr. Mr. St. Clair, we do meet under different 
circumstances in many ways. Allow me, sir, to in- 
troduce Mr. Gray. 

Jas. How do you do, sir? I have long wished for 
this honor. 

Mr. G. Am very happy, sir, indeed, although it is 
all very strange. 

Uve. O mamma, and papa, how can you be so 
formal and distant toward my James ? Have you no 
warmer welcome for your future son ? 

3frs. G. Evelyn, you have such a disagreeably 
outspoken way of naming things. When he once is 
our son, as you term it, we will not be lacking in our 
duty toward him. 

Mr. G. Never mind, pet, we will soon be better 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTEBN TURKS. 19 

acquainted, and then all will come right. It is all so 
very new and strange now. 

Jas, Yes, darling, it will all come right. Here, 
I have quite forgotten to introduce my dear old 
friend Robert; you remember him, do you not, 
dearest? 

Eve. Ah, certainly. I am very happy to see him. 

Roh. Miss Grays allow me to give you a hearty 
shake of the hand, for the sake of my love-worn 
inadvertent chum, and for your own sake. It was 
high time you came, for he was pretty far gone. 
Mrs. Gray, I greet you, and welcome you loyally 
upon the shore and gateway of America. I hope we 
both have overcome the rancor of my anti-British 
tirade upon the ruins of the gory arena, now that we 
are to witness the union of England and America 
in the union of these two loving hearts. 

Mrs. a. Sir! 

Eve. Don't you remember Mr. Norris, mamma, 
whom we met wdth James in Rome ? I did not know 
you were back in America again. Papa, this is Mr. 
Norris, of whom James has written me so much. 

Lee. My friends, how long are these two young 
gents a-goin' to keep us standin' here in this jam ? 

Jas. Don't get crusty, old man, we will move on 
now. Where have you the trunks and luggage? 

Lee. Durn the trunks and luggage ! What hev 
I to do with them, my young squire ? 

Jas. Why, who is this impertinent old fellow ? 
Isn't he the porter ? 

Mrs. Gr. Sir, is this your much praised gallantry ? 
This is that chosen instrument of God, Bishop Lee. 

Lee. laside'] Porter! Yes, mebbe I'll be your 



20 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

porter some day and carrj' off your fine baggage of?, 
gal, my proud j^oung lover.] 

Jas. A bisliop ! [^Anlde — Oli, yes, it is John Lee, lie 
doesn't know me, I tsee] I liope the right-reverend 
gentleman will pardon my mistake. 

Lee, Don't riglit-reverend me, young man, if you 
please; we don't carry such high soumlin' titles, like 
your proud Gentile priests, — plain Brother Lee, that's 
all. 

Jas, Well, then, plain Brother Lee, I hope there is 
no offence. I simply wished to inquire about the 
baggage. If Mr. Gray will tell me whether it has 
been inspected by the custom officers and can be 
removed, I will see to it, while my friend Robert 
secures carriages to take us to the Fifth Avenue 
Hotel, where I have engaged rooms for the party. 

Mrs, Gr, We are very much obliged, but we will 
not go to the Fifth Avenue Hotel, or any other 
hotel. 

Jas. Why not, madam? You do not leave the 
city to-day, do you? 

3frs, Gr, No, sir; but we have eschewed the pomps 
and vanities of the world. We have joined the Zion 
of the Lord, and we will not rest in the hostelries of 
the godless. 

Jas. But, my dear Mrs. Gray, you must have shel- 
ter and entertainment while j^ou are here. 

31rs, Gr. We have cast our lot with the elect of 
God, and we will encamp with them in the taber- 
nacles of the just. 

Lee. Good for you, sister Gray, you have taken 
a bold stand on the side of the Lord. 

People, Bless her for it, she is true to us. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR Wt: STERN TURKS. 21 

Mr, Gr, Yes, it is right. You see, James, we have 
started out in common with these peo^jle, so it is only 
consistent that we shouhl stay wiili them. 

Jas, But where will you go? 

3frs, Gr. To, what's the name — Garden Castle. 

Jas, To Castle Garden ? I never knew that to be 
the tabernacle of the just. I hope jou will not go 
there. It is not a proper place for people of your 
social standinix and accustomed surroundings. 

Lee, We haven't got no social standin' amongst 
us. We are all on a dead level, we are all sheep 
of one fold. 

People. Bless him, so we are, they ain't no high 
and low amongst the saints. 

Jas, Evelyn, my dearest, what do you say ? What 
will you do ? 

LJve! I think I had better go with mamma and 
papa to-day. You will not object, will you, love ? 
We will be very comfortable, and it will not be for 
a long time. 

Jas. Very well, darling. March on. I am going 
along, too. Good-bye, Bob, meet me at the Battery 
at noon. 

lioh. All right, my boy. Good-bye to all. \_Uxeunt.'] 
Mob, \^alo7ie'] A jelly envoi to Captain James's conju- 
gal career. Verily, a pearl of great price cannot be 
obtained without hard work and tough fighting. 
The beastly Bishop is evidently in love with pretty 
Evelyn, and the zealous mother surely favors his suit. 
What with a villainous and jealous shepherd, a 
fanatic, frowning mamma, and a hel])less, lienpecked 
papa, poor Jim will have his hands full. I must 
stick by him, and join the saintly caravan, partly tc* 



22 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

tease the bristling mother-in-law and watch the leer- 
ing priest, and partlj^ to restrain the fiery Othello — 
Marry, if I had such a sweetheart, I would buy me 
a yacht, and sail away with her to a distant ocean 
isle, and there live like an Olympian god. [Uxit,^ 



SCENE II.— Castle Gar den. 

\_Unter John D Lee.] 

Lee. The devil and damnation ! This is just my 
luck. This is a real, regular John Lee's nmddle. 
It's always been the way. When I work an' watch 
an' fight an' pray to git a good thing, an' I think 
when I dun got it all snug and trim, in comes 
some other feller to whip it away right under my 
nose. After all my workin' with Evelyn and my 
fetchin' her safe through almost in sight o' Zion and 
happiness, the devil must bring her fine j^oung spark 
to run against us, and snatch away fiom my mouth 
the fruit of my own rearin' an' watchin'. And 
after my tellin' her that the ship was goin' to be three 
days behind time, so's to give him the slip, to stum- 
ble over him and throw her right in his arms, the 
very first thing — Damnation ! I say. It 'ud make a 
saint swear. If we'd only stayed on the ship and left 
this damned, lousy Castle Garden alone. Well, Provi- 
dence is dead against you, John Lee, that's mighty 
plain — Mebbe he is, but he's got at the wrong fel- 
ler this time, T kin tell you, he ain't agoin' to bully 
me. No sirree. I won't knuckle down to him in 
this bizness, never ! I wouldn't a minded any other 
disappointment, but Evelyn Gray, sweet Evelyn Gray, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS, 23 

my Evelyn, no, Brigham Young, Jo' Sinitli, Provi- 
dence an' the old Scratch all put together shan't 
bamboozle me out o' her I Providence be hancred. 
What's Providence fur if tain't goin' to stand by the 
true saints. A nice pickle for a orthydox Providence 
to git in anyhow, a fightin' his own saints and favorin' 
the wicked doin's o' the Gentiles. Why, he's flyin' 
in liis own face ! Well^ if Providence don't under- 
stand his bizness any better, let him go to the 
dickens ; John Lee '11 git around him this time, too. 
A skull full o' mother wit kin beat the angel Ga- 
briel ; and you'll need your whole head full, John 
Lee, to come out winner in this game. You're no 
match for the young captain in good looks an' you 
know it. No, if I'd to do my courtin' with my 
beauty, Fd never a' got no twenty honeymoons. 
Don't I know well enough, that my durned hussies 
at home when they want to hit off the ugliness of 
a thing, particular, they say "it's as ugly as the old 
man " ? When I walked on the streets o' London, the 
little street ragamuffins, used to run a' hootin' after 
me, as though I was a Punch an' Judy show. Thun- 
der and ague ! This is another mean, unchristian 
trick of this same unreasonable Providence. Well, 
I'll git even with him. If I am to be as ugly as 
the devil, damn me if I don't play the devil too. 
That's fair play, I reckon. Oh, if I only had my 
brave young captain out in Utah, wouldn't I cool 
off the flame of his love ! Wouldn't I teach him to 
kiss her and hug her before my eyes ! Ugh ! It 
drives me wild to ^think of it. If we was only away 
from here with her. If he only don't give ns away 
to her. He lived in Salt Lake and knows all about 



24 EMELYN GBAY; OB, 

US. Horrible ! And I a-tellin them all along that 
polygamy was a lie of our enemies and tliat she's 
to be my first wife. Ha, ha I A saintly old bach- 
elor you are, John, Lee ! But why can't I make it 
true ? Sure enoiigh, that's the idea ! the devil's 
cunning and a Mormon's conscience fit together 
like a pipe and terbacker. When I git home with 
Evelyn FU just take my twenty old rips and drive 
'em out like a stable full of cows on the commons. 
That'll be cancellin' the score, won't it? Ha, ha ! Ah, 
won't they just turn green an' yellow, when I lead 
her in all blushin' and bloomin* an' say, ladies, here's 
number twenty-one? An' precious little hankerin' 
ril have for the ugly, old quarrellin^ hags, with my 
fresh and sweet young sister in my arms. O, if 
we was only over the Rocky mountains. 

Enter Mrs. G. 
Good-morning, Sister Gray, how are you getting 
along ? 

Mrs. Gr. Very badly. Brother Lee, very badly, 

Lee. How so, what's up now ? 

3Irs. Gr. How can you ask, Brother Lee ? Evelyn — 

Lee. She hain't run away, I hope ? 

Mrs. Gr. O, no ; but is she not revelling in the sin 
ful pleasnre of unhallowed love, reclining in the 
arms of her godless paramour. 

Lee. 0, 3'es ; I shouldn't wonder — the son of Belial. 
But I thouglit it was something worse. 

Mrs. Gr. O man (»f God, is this not bad enough? 

Lee. Of course, of course, especially the reclinin' 
in unholy arms, that's damnable and clean against 
the rules of the church; but as long we've got lier 
with us 'tain't so awful bad. I was afeared she'd 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 25 
done orone and absconded with her Gentile lover. 

o 

Ain't 3^ou 'fraid she will? 

Mrs. G-. No. no, In every other matter she is a 
dutiful chihl — she would not leave us without my con- 
sent, and she assured me again to day that she would 
keep her promise of going up to Zion with us, and 
there deciding, upon investigation, between Zion and 
Babylon ; but my tribulation now is that, as she in- 
formed me, the tempter is going along upon the pil- 
grimage. 

Zt'^. Ah, really. I reckonedjmebbe he might. Wa'al, 
that's all right, don't let that tribulate you, Sister 
Gray. 

Mrs. Gr. Are you not afraid of Satan's beguilementa 
on the way ? 

Lee. Not a bit, not a bit. We'll fight the old fiend 
with the weapons of the Lord. 

Mrs. Gr. Yes, I am sure I'll wrestle with Evelyn 
in the spirit. I shall not be lacking in zeal and ex- 
hortation. 

Lee. No, no, not that way, sister Gray, I wouldn't 
bother' 'em at all. Just let 'era alone to theirselves 
and their billin' an' cooin'. 

Mrs. a. O, Brother Lee ! 

Lee. Yes. I know it looks wicked, but we must 
keep our eyes open, sharp as serpents, you know, and 
without guile, like tlie doves. It wouldn't do to 
worry 'em with prayin' and preachin' now. They 
ain't in a mood for it, an' you know you ought to 
even give the devil his dues. 

Mrs, Gr. Shall we then let the evil work go on ? 

Lee. No, Sister Gray, w^e will fight their hate and 
their sin with the sword of love. Yes we'll treat 



26 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

'em kind and gentle, we'll sliow 'em that we are the 
true saints as have got the spirit of God ; we'll take 
all their suspicion away and show 'em the glory of 
Zion. 

Mrs. a. O, do you think that will break her 
stubborn heart. 

Lee. Yes, and his'n too. We'll git him around yet 
too, the nice young captain. Leave him to me. By 
the time we're out in Canaan he won't contradict 
another word. I'll get all his objections silenced, 
won't that be grand, ha, ha, ha ! 

Mrs. Gr. But what of your suit then ? 
Lee. O, never mind me. I'll give her up to him 
any time if by that operation we can only save his 
soul. P'raps it's better that way, after all. I'm a 
ugly old crawfish, and I guess she'd ruther have the 
young feller anyhow. No doubt on it. Damn her ! 
l^aside^. 

Mrs. Gr. O, Brother Lee, you are too good for this 
wicked world. Evelyn is unworthy of such noble 
treatment. This disinterestedness could come from 
no other than such a chosen vessel of the Lord. But 
I cannot acquiesce in the change yet. 

Lee. Only try it, dear sister, an' pray over it. All 
will come right. Don't forgit the word, gentle an' 
easy. 

Mrs. a. I will try. Good-bye, dear Brother Lee. 

[Uxit. 

Lee. Good-bye, Sister Gray. Well, well, fur a 
wholesale fool an' greenhorn, this ole woman does 
take the cake. I never had no bird as 'd fly on the lime 
with such fuss an' feathers. Durned if I don't believe 
eddication makes jackasses of people, leastways I 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR IVESTEBN TURKS. 27 

ain't found no highfalutin' college larnt, yit but I 

could pull his hide over his ears afore he'd wink at me. 

Unter Robert Norkis. 

Pshaw here comes the other young feller, I don't 
like his looks a bit. He alius stares right into you, 
and looks as if he was pokin' fun at you. Guess, I'll 
give him the cut. 

Bob. Ha, there goes the episcopal camel-driver of 
the saintly caravan. The gaze he honored me with 
was not very benignly pastoral or paternal. Perhaps 
he sees in me another ravening wolf like Capt. Jim, 
come to kidnap one of his lambkins. But he needn't 
fear. The Morman women have evidently been sup- 
plied with a gracious, providential bulwark against 
temptation in their homeliness. It seems as if the 
Bishop with his unmitigated, indelible ugliness had 
stamped his entire party for the journey, like a trunk- 
f ul of linen for the laundry. 

Unter Biddy Mahone. 

Biddy. Good-mornin' to yer honor, sir, an' be ye 
af ther lookin' for the captin' and the young ladie ? 

Boh. No, no. I saw them just now promenading 
on the Battery. 

Biddy. On the Buttery, indade. Faix an' her 
sinses might be in a buttery indade a-matin' her own 
bouchal so soon in the new counthree, an' the broth 
of a lad he is to be sure, the nice and dacent gintle- 
man, all out, by the same token he didn't drive his 
pigs to a bad market neither, for it's a long day I am 
sure whin ye'll find a swater nor dearer darlint to 
yer mind, the colleen bawn. 

Boh. Then you know her, eh? 

Biddy. Throth an' it's me that does know her, 



28 EVELYN GRAY; Oil, 

avilish* K\\ green is the day when Biddy Mahone 
first set eyes on the swate craythur. An' didn't we 
come over the say together, an' ivery mother's son of 
us down wid the saysickness, an' ivery sowl in the 
ceUar howl down below — what do the blaggard 
sailors call it at all, at all ? 

Roh. The steerage ? 

Biddy, Thrue for yer honor, many thanks to 
your honor's kindness; I'm ivery bit of me flust- 
rated, a'mindin the happiness of the swate ladie, a 
colleen dlias. An' didn't she attind to all of us an' 
ivery soul in the stayridge so sick, it was a wondher 
of the world that the ship stuck toglther at all, at 
all, but she tuk .no 'count on it, here an' there an' 
iverywhere, day an' night, mornin' an' evenin' a' 
helpin' the sick, wid a swate smile an' a kin word 
fur ivery one, an' takin' no rest but watchin' and walk- 
in' about, till she was white as Father McCarthy's 
vestments. But the sorra a bit did she complain uv. 
Whin me little gorsoon died, God rest his sowl in 
pace, didn't she cum an' put her arms aroun' me 
neck an' cry wid me an' kiss me on the owld ugly 
face wid her own swate, soft lips and sphake about 
Jesus as said, " Suffer little childers to come unto 
me," an' me a cryin' an' a blubberin' like a scliool- 
boy. 

Rol, Jim is a lucky dog, indeed. 

Biddy. An' to think o' her yer honor, sir, a foine, 
tindher, gintle, pritty ladie w^ith tire swate white 
hands ov her what has lived in a palace an' hob- 
nobbed with high- people, a-kapin' cumpany with the 
loikes ov us, what has been raised in the huts wid 
the pigs, sir. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 29 

Mob. Yes, bat now as Mormons you are all alike. 

Biddy. Och, ocli, avick, but yer honor wouldn't 
be afther puttin' that feusthah-lagh on me. Thruly, 
yer honor can't make Biddy Mahone belave that 
thim Ducth shingauns is mate fur me own fair ladie 
girl. 

Bob. Are these people all Dutch ? 

Biddy. Indade an' its me yer afther puttin' in a 
hobble wid axin' of that same questi'n, sir. It ud 
take the larnin' of a praste to consther their haythen 
palaver at all, at all. An' wasn't it me own self 
now, Biddy Mahone, what is willin' to put the 
failtah on ivery craythur howandiver, an' thinkin' 
it was me howly duthy to make friends wid 'em, 
didn't meself put the civil word to 'em, '' Good morn- 
in', a-hagur, an' how is every mither's daughter of 
yez," as swate loike as ye plaze, an' them imperent 
hay thens a-gapin' at me an' answerin' '' Dansker ! " 
bad scran to 'em, but Biddy Mahone'll dance 'em a 
jig for that same '' Dansker," to thrate a dacint 
woman that gait. 

Rob. They must be mostly Danes. 

Biddy. Not thim. On me sowl I think theys 
more like beggin' monks, bad luck to the day we 
came across the whole pack ov 'em intoirely. 

Rob. You seem to be the only Irish family in the 
party. How did you ever come to join the Mor- 
mons? 

Biddy. Agra, yer honor, bless yer sowl, but whin 
I looks aroun' me at them haythen Danes, as yer 
honor calls thim, it's meself as is afther axin' that 
same question. How did it come ? Mavrone, it 
was all o' lavin' owld Ireland, dear and swate owld 



30 EVELYN' GRAY; OB, 

Ireland, bad luck to the day ! An' bad luck it was 
that drove us away. The praties failed an' the pig* 
we was feedin' for the rint died, the craythur, God 
rest his bones, an' the English landlord turned us 
out o' the shanty, an' the young praste sint us away 
from his door cruel an' emptj^-handed, bekase, as he 
said, Larry had jined the Land Leaguers, but Larry, 
the blunderin' rogue niver did nobody no harm, an' 
sez he, coinin' cut wid the rale throuble, "Yez ov/es 
me fur the month's mind fur yer dead mither's sowl 
in Purgatory, Biddy Mahone, an' me a sayiu' masses 
fur her yit." Sez I thin to him, '^ Yer Riverince," sez 
I, "it's not koind ov yez to throw that same tiling 
up to me now, whin we haven't the fardens, no more 
the shillens an' the pouns to pay fur masses. An' 
throth" sez I ''yer Riverince, if ye'llpray onto' Pur- 
gatory thim as is under sod, wid our money, b}^ me san- 
nies, sir, ye'U be aftlier prayin' us all in." An' tliin 
Larry up an' sez, och but lie's the rogue o' the world, 
is me owld man Larry, sez he, takin' liis doodeen out 
o' his mouth an' winkin' at me with his left-handed 
eye, '' Your Riverince,'* says he, lookin' as sober as if 
he was goin' to resave the blissed saycriment," '• liow 
near hey you prayed the owld woman out? " " Faix, 
Larry," sez he, puttin' on the grah at wanst, ''moighty 
near, moighty near, all but tlie legs o' her. Agra, 
your Riverince, achora," sez Larry,' thin ye can save 
yer breath, the owld woman's shinnins was able- 
bodied enough afore she was under boord, by tha 
same token she broke up a matin' where we was 
gettin' a little hearty the night afore she wiiit under, 
and sint the bvoys a skirlin' like the leaves 'afore the 
sugh, if yer Riverince lias pulled her out so far, by 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TUBES. 31 

that same foine prayin' o' yourii, on me soul, but she 
won't be afther givin'ye no more throuble, but'll jump 
out the rest of the way herself." An' thin we cam' 
to Lundon, where they sed we cud find lots o' work 
an' wages, an' aisy enough it wuz to cum, conshideriu' 
ez we had no baggage to carry barrin' the boucha- 
leens, wurrah shtrew, the darlints ! An' lots o' 
work we did find, an' hard an' ruff enuff wuz the 
same, on me sowl. How an' iver we wint to it, body 
an' slaves, me wid the wash-tub an' the scrubbin- 
brush an' Larry wid the pick an' shovel ivery blessid 
day, an' tlie childers a scroodgin' togither do\vn in 
the cellar howl wid the widdy Droodin — an' tlie 
devil's own den it wuz, so dark an' damp an' dirihy 
yer honor, sir, that a dacint Irish pig would a turned 
up his nose at it. An' many's the night I didn't 
shlape fur the cryin' o' me fur the little shanty au' 
the bloomin' turf of Owld Ireland, an' shure didn't 
it fill me sowl with grab an' sorry "to see tlie gor- 
soons as they droopit an' droopit like broken flowers, 
whin before thet a point of a rush would take a drop 
o' blood out of their cheek, but sorry a drop did the 
damp cellar howl leave in their faces at the last, 
O, me Micky an me Teddy, me poor bouchaleens, 
avicks machree ! ye are gone from yer own mither 
ashtore, an* will she iver see yez again, O, wurrah 
sthrew I 

Bob. After that I suppose you left London soon ? 

Biddy. Shure an' it's yer honor's self as might say 
that. Sorry a bit o' grab did we hev fur the big, 
foggy town, wid all its noise an' norration afther that. 
How an' iver fwhat could we be afther but sthick to 
the scrahag while we bed it, an' not go a trampin' 



32 EVELYN GBAY ; 6% 

through the world like vagabones or guestin' friars ? 
An' so we jes kep on a rubbin' an' a scrubbin' till one 
night whin we was atin' our bit o' mate an' 'taters, 
in comes me naybur, Kitty O'Dowd, all in a flusthra- 
tion an' sez she, " Biddy an Larry come an' hear the 
meeshonery at the corner." Sez I thin, wid the of- 
fiiided air intoirely, ' It's the flipe that ye are, Kitty O' 
Dowd, to be af ther sphakin' to me about a new-fangled 
ranch an' Judy, an' me a mournin' fur the boucha- 
leens." ''Don't be a fool, Biddy," sez she, ''it's the 
Mormon meeshoiiery from Ameriky, the bishop 
to be shure, what praches the new religion to the 
poor. Come along both on ye." Thin I sthripped 
down me slaves, an' Larry an' me we wint wid Kitty 
to the corner. Whin we cum there, bhure indade 
there was Misther Lee a standin' on a herrin' barrel 
an' a prachin' fur all out. That's the meeshonery," 
sez Kitty. " Body o' me soul," sez I, but he's the 
shingaun ov a bishop intirely." ''Be dhehuslit," sez 
Larry, " and hear to the prachin' ov him, can't ye ? " 
He was a gosliterin about Zion out in Utah in 
Ameriky an' fwhat a foine place it was ov coorse, 
an' how ivery wan, as joined, could git a bit ov a 
shanty an' a pratie patch fur the axin' ov it, an' how 
they hed no rich an' no poor amongst them, at all, 
at all ; but as they hed iverything in wan, their 
praties an* mate, their whiskey an' terbacker an' all 
luved wan anuther, jist like the howly saints an' 
aposhtles. " An," sez he, " ye've only got ter lave yer 
popery an yer piscopy, yer presbytery an' yer meth- 
ody and b'lave in Jesus Christ an' Brigham Young, 
his own profit, an' git up an' folly me an' I'll take 
ye to Canaan and to plinty, an' 'appiness, an' glory. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 33 

an it won't cost yez a cint." Wliin I looks at Larry, 
J seen at once that the bishop had put the comedher 
on him, bekase he winked at me an' sez, '^ It's the 
toothsome goshpil all out, Biddy, plinty o' terbacker 
an' the craythur ! " Which I was compilled to laugh, 
so that the people in the crowd sthared at me as if 
I had gone a shaughran an' put me all through 
anuther, so that I took Larry fornint me an' wiiit 
home moighty quick. But sorry a wink o' shlape 
would come on me fur lay in' an' thinkin' about Zion 
an' the party little shanty out in Canaan an' the 
bishop's palaver wint roun' in my head like an' owld 
spinnin' wheel, an' I was in such a norration as though 
I waz Biddy O' Flaherty at the fair agin, an' all the 
lads a fightin' to dance wid me. At last I couldn't 
stand it no longer at all, an' givin' Larry a ^celp in 
the ribs, an' he a snorin' like a garran by me side, 
'' Larry," sez I, " does yer mind, we's goin' wid the 
bishop to Canaan." " All right, Biddy," sez he, 
" lashins o' poteen an' terbacker." " The curse o' the 
crows on yer poteen an' doodeen, ye boozy, bastely 
spalpeen, for layin' there an' dreamin' on sich things, 
an' yer own wife can't shlape a mindin' her eternal 
sowl an' salvation." But the nixt morn in' we come 
an' told the bishop, an' here we are. 

Hobo And so you have given over the Pope and 
the church and joined the Mormons for good ? 

Biddy. Och, och, yer honor, it's a tearin' ov me 

heart all in flitches ye are by that same collusion. 

Mavrone, but it's the onhappiest woman I am shure, 

an' it's the owld divil himself as is af ther me or else the 

whole drove ov howly saints a stretchiu'out their claws 

at night an' a whisperin' : '' Biddy Mahone, it's a cur- 

3 



34 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

sin' yer own father's an' mitlier's bones, ye are, it's 
exciminicated and damned ye are for iver an' iver, an' 
ye'll roast in the fires o' hell like a heap of praties in 
the greenshaugh." An' whin I looked down in the 
wather on the ship, the big alligathurs'd jump out o' 
the say wid their bloody mouths to swally me like the 
owld apostle Jonathan as runned away from the 
Lord to Babylon. But fwhat is the poor divil of a 
so wl like me to be af ther doin' at all ? " An', sez I, thin 
to mesilf, " Biddy, it's the goose an' the gommoch 
ye be intoirely, a mindin' their blarney. The howly 
Father in Rome sez ye'll be damned if ye jine the Mor- 
mons, and the howly father in Utah, that is Mr. Young, 
says ye'll be damned if ye don't. So ye be dead shure 
o' bein damned how an' iver. So if ye'll be damned 
if ye do an' ye'll be damned if ye don't, dher manim, 
it's on the side ov the good linin' I'll be damned, an* 
no thanks to yez fur the same. 

Roh, One can stomach this theology. 

Biddy. The howly Vargin bless yer honor fur 
sayin' that. An' it's sayin' to mesilf I am : " Now 
Biddy fwhat has the howly Father an' the Church 
iver done fur ye ? Why wid masses an' stations an' 
month's minds an' confeethurs an' shrafts an' all their 
hoi'pus corpus they Lev sucked ye ez drouthy ez the 
thatch over the chimbley, an' sorry a bit ov a shanty 
an' an acre will they give ye. An' so it's goin' wid 
the bishop, the ugly bosthoon, we's a goin' to see 
that foine Canaan o' his, but it's Biddy Mahone that 
says her pathers an' avers ivery blissid day enyhow — 
but I'm throublin' yer honor too long wid me gosther, 
I am ; an' Larry, the reckless rogue he's taken to his 



THE VICTIMS OF OUIi WESTERN TURKS. 35 

scrapers agin', so I must get on his thracks. Good- 
moruin' to yer honor, sir, an' a blessin' on ye. 

Rob. Good-morning, Biddy, don't be hard on 
Larry when you find him. \JExeunt. 



SCENE llL—TJie Battery, N. Y. James and Eve- 
lyn, promenadiiig arm-in-arm. 

Eve. I am afraid you are concealing the worst 
from me about the Mormons and our journey to 
Utah. 

Jas. The fact of my departure from Salt Lake City 
is of itself expressive enough. That I shall accompany 
you thither now, dearest, for whom I had entertained 
other plans, and prepared another home in Denver, 
this is doubly and trebly harassing to me. 

Eve. You know, my love, that I share your opin- 
ions about tlie true character of Mormonism ; that I 
only go in obedience to mamma's urgent wish. I 
have no doubt that a short stay there will cure her of 
her faith. 

Jas. I hope so, but I hope that our return then will 
be as easy as our going is now. O dear, it is a dread- 
ful, unfortunate infatuation. I should think the mere 
sight of this boozy, brazen-phizzed John Lee would be 
enough to make her sick of Mormonism. Ugh, I 
can't see his ugly face without the desire of choking 
him. 

Eve. O James ! But it is sad and strange that he 
is the very means and object of her infatuation ; but 
do you really think there is any danger in going there? 

Jas. Bah, it is silly and cowardly in me to talk of 



36 EVELYN GBAY; OR, 

dangers when you are walking forth like Una among 
the lions, and I have been knocked about among 
Mexicans and i\Iormons, cowboys and Indians, w^olves 
and grizzlies. But that is just the point ; I thought my 
figliting days were over and was fondly anticipating 
a different kind of life with you, my sweet wife, in 
our own happy home — but it is not right for the lover 
to expect his minnesold before deserving his fair lady- 
love by some knight errantry. — And you know, 
darling, for you I would fight my way' through the 
cannibals of the Congo or the camps of the Apaches. 
U?iter Rob, 

Bob, Or the three barking jaws of Cerberus into 
Hades, like Orpheus after Eurydice. I am sorry to 
be the hete-noir upon this ambrosial scene, but 1 deem 
it an act of Christian philanthropy to you. Miss Gray, 
to remind this rhapsodical swain in his empyrean 
existence of such mundane facts as dinner-hours and 
hungry stomachs. 

Eve. O, thank you ; I am sure I have not the least 
appetite yet. 

Jas. Never mind, you mocking Mephisto, your 
turn will come yet. Even Achilles had a vulnerable 
spot. 

Rob, Maybe, but I hope that if I ever am hit by 
Cupid's dart, it will not be in the heel like Achilles, 
and then take to my heels, as did a gallant friend of 
mine, not a thousand miles distant. 

Eve. Have you really never been touched by such 
a missile, ]\Ir. Norris ? 

Rob, Many a time and oft, dear Miss Gray; but as 
in the conversation with m}^ new friend, Biddy 
Mahone, just now, the reciprocity was all on one side^ 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS, 37 

Jas. Is it possible tliat such a noble knight of the 
lead-pencil should never have elicited a soft response 
from some fair source ? 

Hob. Yes, Jim, there was such an instance, and it 
was a very soft response indeed, being a piece of fish 
well masticated, which an ebony fair one on the 
upper Nile piessed upon me. The softness of her 
passion was further enhanced by a pound of butter 
which trickled down from her wooly hair, and with 
w^hich she fondly besmeared me, ere I could break 
away from her embrace. 

Jas, Ha, lia, ha ! how I wish I could have seen tliat 
tableau ! But, Bob, what do you say about going 
along out to Utah now? Come and join the exodus. 

Hob. Well, I don't care so very much to stay now, 
since you are going. 

Uve. O, that will be very pleasant ! 

Jas. Good for you, old fellow, I thought you 
would stick to me, although — 

Bob, I am ousted and retired to second place by 
my fair British foe. 

Uve. Ah, no, Mr. Norris, you shall retain your old 
place. There must be no jealousy. 

Jas. I hope not, but w^e must go in now, darling. 
Will you be ready to start this evening, Bob? 

Rob, Yes, I will get some dinner now, and then go 
and make my arrangements with the paper. 

Jas. All right, we'll meet this evening at the 
Pennsylvania Annex. You know the train time ? 

Rob. Yes, good-bye. [Uxeunt Jas. and Eve.] Per- 
haps I had better stay after all. There are mightier 
enemies than Indians and Mormon Danites. She is 
a superb creature. Ah, when she looked with her 



38 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

great, calm, blue eyes, and asked me if I had never 
been touched by Cupid's arrows, I thought that I 
felt one of them lodged right home at that moment. 
To look into those deep, clear English orbs is like 
gazing on a mellow English landscape or reading 
one of Tennyson's Idyls. But oh, pshaw! It's 
all nonsense. They never will have a hotter effect on 
me. Ambition, not love, is ni}^ Cupid, and I know 
I am man enough rather to die than indulge such a 
treasonable feeling. I'll go along to help Jim to 
protect her. [Exit. 



SCENE IV.— Iowa City, on the Mississippi. Camp. 
Mr. Gray, John Lee, Mrs. Gray. 

Mr. Gr. I do not like to do it, Mr. Lee. 

Lee. Why not, Brother Gray ? 

Mr, Gr. It is an unnecessary and unbusiness-like 
procedure. 

Lee. I can't see nothin' irreg^ular about it. The 
church needs money fur to pay the travellin' expenses 
of the saints. You've got plenty o' money, and all 
we want is for you to loan it to us. That's all there 
is about it. 

Mr. Gf-. I have no objections to loaning a certain 
limited sum necessary for a present exigency, although 
I cannot understand how so great a corporation as 
the Mormon church should be embarrassed in. a mis- 
sionary activit}^ which tliey are constantly carrying on 
and for which they must have made ample provision. 

Lee. Yes, but we are all poor an' the money's 
got to come from somewhere, an' wliat's the use o* 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 39 

your luggin' it along over the prarie an' mountains 
where it ain't safe. 

Mr. Gr. In the form in which I carry it, it is no 
burden, and would be utterly worthless to a thief or 
robber. 

Lee. Well, why not give it in the hands of the 
church, where it'll do some good, instead o' berryin* 
it in the handkerchief like that feller in the gospel ? 
Two of our bishops are goin' to New York to-day to 
cross over to Europe and fetch more saints over. 
They'd like to have a bank account in New York or 
London to fall back on. — Now why can't you accom- 
modate us in this here matter ? 

Mr. Gr. There is a belief extant among the poor 
of our party that Mormon society in Utah is com- 
munistic and that I have donated my entire fortune 
to the church. Now while I am willing, if need be, 
to give all my money to the poor, I do not believe in 
the feasibility of such a communistic scheme, and 
wish to reserve the right of distributing my gifts 
myself. 

Mrs. Gr. Why shouldn't such a holy state of society 
be feasible among the saints? It existed among 
the early Christians in the time of the apostles. Why 
not among the latter day saints, the only true Chris- 
tians nowadays ? O, would that the Spirit of God 
could bring it about soon ! You did assure me. 
Brother Lee, that the dear saints out in Zion have all 
things in common. 

Lee. Waal, now. Sister Gray, I guess I did tell 
you as Brother Brigham's tryin' to work things 
in that direction ; of course he ought to — but we 
don't know how it'll turn out yit, leastways nobody's 



40 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

forced to give a cent if he don't want to, only if some 
rich brother'd feel so inclined to give his property to 
the church — 

31): a. Tiie world would call him a fool or a 
madman. 

Mrs. G-. O dear, there it is again— the world— 
tlie world. What have we to do with the world ? Have 
we not left tiie world ? 

Mr. a. Yes, it seems so, to look at this primitive 
country— but worklly affairs must be transacted in 
a business-liiie way. 

Lee. Of course, Brother Gray— That's all lAvant— 
No nonsensical, sentimental givin' away, only a 
square an' fair loan. Here I've wrote a note in 
Brother Brigham's name, that's short an' sweet an' 
covers the case. (Beads) : 

" In the name of Brigham Young, I promise to 
pay to Thomas Gray, six months after date, the sum 
of ^ne hundred and twenty thousand dollars. 

John D. Lee." 
^ Now you can just write dver your notes an' securi- 
ties to me, an' when you git to Zion, just take this to 
Brother Brigham, an' he'll count out the whole sum, 
or else you can take part out in land an' houses. 

Come, now. Brother Gray, if you hang back any 
longer I'll have to think that you're afraid we're 
goin' to cheat you out of it. 

3Ir. a. Sir ! Here, give me the note. We will 
immediately go and get the papers ready. 

[Uzeunt Mr. and Mrs. Gray. 

Lee. By the etarnal Jerusalem, I've got it ! G^e- 

whilikens, but tliat was done slick ! I never see sich 

a family for bein' taken in, anyhow. Durn if I don't 



TEE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 41 

believe they'd git mad at you, if you wouldn't bam- 
boozle' em, they swallows all your gammon so hungry 
like. The old man did kick a little, but that there 
woman is a reg'lar devil's gran'mother for argyin' 
an' persuadin.' Now if I kin only git their daughter 
az easy az I got their money I'll be satisfied. If't 
only don't go with the maid as with the money, that 
I'm just the cat's-paw for Brigham an' nothin' more. 
lUnter Apostle Richard.] 

Rich. Well, John, how is it ? Did you get it ? 

Lee Yes, sirree. 

Rich. You did ? Hurrah for you ! Won't Brother 
Brigham be glad ! 

Lee. Yes, confound him, I reckon he will. 

Rich. What's that, old man ? 

Lee. Waal, it's just what I mean, confound him 
again. We fellers are good enough to do the dirty 
work for him an' when he hauls in the winnins, we 
don't even git no thanks, but have to take the blame 
an' the shame in the bargain. They say as there's 
honor even among thieves but I'll be hanged if I 
kin see any of it in Brigham Young. 

Rich. You're right, John, that's the way I feel 
about it. Now here's this hand-car scheme o' Brig- 
ham's, that they have been dilly-dallyin' all summer 
about, now that he thinks he's going to make some 
money out of it, it's a capital idea, a revelation and 
what not ; but if, somehow, the thing should turn out 
a durned fizzle and folly, which it's very likely to 
do for all except Brother Brigham himself, then 
he'll disown it and turn hell loose on me or some- 
body else. 

Lee. Have you got 'em done now ? 



42 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

Rich. Yes, you'll see 'em iu a minute, and they'll 
make you smile. I wouldn't mind Brigham's doin's so 
much, because he's the church, you know, and there's 
no gettin' up our backs against him, but when such a 
miserable, sneakin,' impudent, low-lived jackass of a 
John Taylor 

Lee. Ha, ha ! you apostles seem to know each other 
purty close ; but I want to tell you, Richards, as how 
you ought to be a little careful in whose hearin' you 
git off your compliments to one another. 

Rich. You do, eh? Why do you think I care if you 
sro and tell him agrain ? 

Lee. 'Tain't that. What the hell do I care about 
your quarrel, but it don't sound very nice to the 
(jrentiles, you know. That there newspaper fellur, 
Norris, must been 'a nosin' round durin' one o' your 
confabs with Taylor, fur I heard 'im makin' sport o' 
both of you, and sayin' somethin' about makia' your 
doctrine orthodox with apostolic blows and knocks. 

Rich. We didn't get that far, but if the overbearing 
scamp tries to put himself above me any more, durned, 
if I don't give him one on his ugly mug. 

Lee. Waal, you kin jist look out fur seein' the 
whole apostolic prize-fight reported in the New York 
papers, an' then you'd better look out for Brigham 
Young. But here comes your barouches. 

JEnter Capt. Savage zvith Emigrants (hand- 
carts are brought iti). Richards mounts upon a box 
and addresses the crowd. 

Bretheren and sisters, I see some of you don't 
understand this. Just wait a minute and I'll explain. 
You know that thousands and thousands of saints flee 
from the vile world and come to Zion in the valley. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 43 

Well, it cost a sight of ox-teams to fetch 'em out over 
the mountains. The church ain't rich like the proud 
sects in the world. The good Prophet had many a 
sleepless night about it on his lone couch, and wept to 
the Lord for help, and, lo, the Lord heard his cries 
and sent him a revelation by night, and this is the 
image and substance of his heavenly vision — this hand- 
cart. [^Laugliter and exclamations from emigrants,^ 
Now some of you may think this a very simple kind 
of a revelation for the Lord to make, but you ought to 
consider that the Lord accommodates His revelations 
to the people He has to deal with. 

Roh. [aside\ Well, a wheelbarrow is a vehicle about 
typical of Mormondom. 

Rich So there's nothing to laugh at about these 
carts ; they'll save the church many thousand dol- 
lars a year and the saints a world of trouble. Here 
you won't have any jolting in rough ox-wagons and 
no running after your stampeded teams in the morn- 
no trouble feeding and w^atering them, no night 
watching to keep wolves and bears away from 
them, but you can push your light carts, singing and 
laughing over the ground and at night lie down to rest 
by a fresh stream. It will be a happy march to the city 
of the saints. You will march over the mountains 
and through the valleys like Israel of old? You will 
come to Zion rejoicing. 

Capt. Savage, But what about snow-storms, Brother 
Richards? It takes twelve weeks by the fastest 
travelin' to make the journey, an' it's rather late in 
tlie season. Goin' on foot an' pushin' tliese here-- 
what do ye call 'em — these here revelations wi' the 
wimmin and children '11 bring us rightin the mountains 
in midwinter. 



44 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

Rich. Brother Savage, you are a man of little faith, 
you ought to be ashamed to raise your worldly objec- 
tions to God's revelations. 

Capt, S, I don't know nothin' about revelations. 
That's not in my line, but I know all about the 
Rockies in winter, 'cause I crossed 'em too often, an' 
a little common sense an' prudence 11 go f iirther'n a 
hull book o' revelations sometimes. 

Rich, You are a sacrilegious infidel, and ought to be 
hauled up for your wicked contradicting. 

Capt. S, I don't see nothin' wicked in takin' care 
on them as is put under our care, an' I tell you it's all 
a Injun or a trapper can do to save hisself from the 
blizzards as a goes a-howlin' through tlie canyons up 
there in winter. 

Rich. And I tell you, sir, this is from the Lord, for 
the mouth of his Prophet hath spoken it. Ain't He 
above the winds and the elements, you Gentile. 
Never mind his heathen gabble, good people. Be not 
afraid, for the Lord will go before you. Your slioes 
will not wear out and your clothes will not grow old 
while you wander through the desert ; though it storm 
on your right and on your left hand, yet the storm shall 
not reach you. Come, break up camp, take down 
your tents and bring your baggage to head-quarters. 
There will be seventeen pounds of bedding allowed to 
each person. The overweight will be taken care of by 
the church. You will be arranged in four companies. 
Willie, Atwood, Woodward and Levi Savage are the 
captains of the trains. All hands to the task, break 
up immediately. Will you fall in or not, Mister 
Savage ? 

Capt. S. All right, but I warn you that if half o' 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 45 

these poor people git starved or froze on tlie way, 
their blood '11 be on your heads, but leastways you'll 
allow us to take one or two wagons, along for the sick 
an' the worn-out, won't ye ? 

Rich. No, sir; dry up now, can't you? It's against 
orders, and if it don't suit you then stay here and go 
about your business. You don't seem to belong to 
the saints anyhow. 

Capt. S. A cattle driver as drives a drove o' hogs 
to the stockyards, takes a wagon along fur to pick up 
them as gives out on the way. 

Rich, O, go to the hogs or the dogs, damn you, can't 
you see that the Lord's a-running this and he'll take 
care of 'em all ? " 

Capt. S. Yes, I'll bet he'll pick up lots on 'em sure 
enough. \_Uxeunt Emigrants. 

Lee to Rich. Say, Richards, are you goin' to shove 
one o' them wagons ? 

Rich. Don't be a fool, John Lee. Do you think 
me crazy enough to go on such a wild-goose chase ? 
I've got my team all ready, and will start a few hours 
after this drove o' saints, so as to pass 'em at their 
first night's encampment. Will you go along with 
me, bishop ? 

Lee. No, thank you, apostle ; I'm provided in tlie 
same way, an' I'm goin' to start right away. Good-bye, 
holy man of God. Ha, ha, ha ! 
' Rich. Get out, you old scoundrel. [^Uxeunt 

Re-enter Rob. They iXYe actually in earnest about 
this insane adventure. I must watch Jim to prevent 
his clubbing the Mormon bishops until Evelj^'n per- 
suade him to her roseate, romantic view of this lover's 
promenade over the prairies and mountains. I'm 



46 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

afraid they'll find it different from sailing and singing 
love songs on the Mississippi. 

Emigrants moving out with hand-carts^ singing 

We're going to Zion with our carts, 

And tlie spirit of God within our hearts. 

The old decrepit, feeble dame 

Will lend a hand to push the same ; 

For some must push and some must pull 

As we go marching up the hill, 

Until we reach the valley, O! 

Our maidens they will dance and sing : 

Oiu- young men happier be than kings. 

Our strength increasing every day. 

As we go travelling up the way. 

Yes, some must push and some must pull, etc. 

Other Emigi-ants passing^ singing : 

Hurrah for tlie camp of Israel ! 
Hurrah for the hand-cart scheme! 
Hurrah, hurrah, 'tis better far 
Than the wagon and ox-team! 

Boh. I suppose Jim and Evelyn have gone 
ahead with the Grays. I nuist hasten to join them. 
Farewell, O loved East, farewell ! Father of the 
waters, God knows whether we will ever see you 
again. IjExit. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 47 



ACT IL 

SCENE. I— Salt Lake City. Office of Brigham 
Young. First Presidency, Bkigham Young, 
Heber C. Kimball, Dan'l H. Wells. 

Kimball. Well, it seems they're coming. 

Young. Yes, they' 11 be on us pretty soon. When 
we were at Cottonwood Park on anniversary daj^ 
Port Rockwell and John Kimball came in and told 
me they had scouted the party on the plains. 

K. You're sure they're bound for Zion ? 

Y. Sure enough, Brother Heber, you may bet your 
life on it. I've expected this all along. You might 
know they wouldn't let us alone much longer. It's 
just like the bloody devils. As long as we were figlit- 
ing starvation and the Indians, they didn't take any 
notice of us, but now that we're looming up out here 
in the wilderness, now that we've reared a blooming 
oasis in the desert, they're coming down on us. 

jBT. Damn them for greedy cut-throat robbers ! 
We'll have all the Illinois and Missouri scenes over 
again. 

Wells. Not if I know it, by the Almighty I They're 
not going to hound us like sheep over the prairie again. 
We're not such a little lost flock of martyrs any 
more. We ai-e a mighty people now, and, by the 
bones of the Prophet, they shan't drive us out of our 
own again ! 

Y. Hold your horses. Brother Daniel. 



48 EVIJL l^y GRA Y ; OR, 

Wells, Durned if I do ! Didn't you say, Brother 

Brigham, when we came here, that if the devils 

would give you ten years you'd be ready for them. 

They've taken you at your woi'd, and now we'll show 

them that we are ready for 'em. 

K. Wh}', what is it all about this time? 

Y. O, about everything, you know. There never 
can be peace between us and the United States. The 
immediate cause is the Court business. 

K, O, tlie boys breaking into the Court aiid com- 
pelling that Arch Gentile Stiles to adjourn when he 
was trying our men in his own fashion for faithful 
church work. I lieard about it before I came out. 

Y. And did you hear that Tom Williams pro- 
tested against their action? 

K, He did? The impudent, dirty traitor ! I sup- 
pose he'll be apostatizing and running away to Cali- 
fornia soon. 

Y. He did start for California? 

jff. What, has he escaped ? 

W, Not much. He was politely stopped and en-* 
tertained on the way by some of the tribe of Dan, 
He will not take sides with a Gentile judge against 
the saints any more. 

K. Ha, ha! Good for you, Dan, that's the best argu- 
ment against such superfine lawyers. Wasn't that 
the fellow that disputed our claims that the teriitorial 
marshal should select the jurors for Federal Courts, 
when doing territorial business, instead of the United 
States marshal ? 

Y, Yes, that's the same chap. I warned him at 
the time not to be too free with his smartness, but he 
wouldn't listen. Now he's got his lawyer's fee. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 49 

jr. So may it befall every one that turns traitor to 
ourProphetPriest and King ! 

W. Amen, Amen ! 

Y. Well, I often got sick of the eternal fighting. 

K. Why don't they let us alone then, hang their 
impudent meddling ! 

Y. It's in the nature of the case they won't, Brother 
Heber. There can't be two supreme and independent 
Governments in this country, don't you see ? The 
people of the United States have the ridiculous, over- 
bearing doctrin that all of this country belongs to 
them and that everybody in the remotest corner of it 
must knuckle down to them. Now, they don't at- 
tempt to go North or South of their old states to 
rule over the people there, what business have they 
to come flaunting their damned stars and stripes out 
West ? Who gave them this country to set themselves 
up as bosses and owners and demand that every wheel 
that is running shall revolve within their big wheel 
and with the same rotation ? Why, when it comes to 
that, the Red-skins are the more rightful owners — 
But their pharisaical philosophers argue that the 
country belongs to them, that cultivate and civilize 
it. Now we have come out here into this howling 
wilderness and made a flourishing commonwealth 
and a garden of Eden out of it, but instead of sticking 
to their own motto, the lying, bragging hypocrites 
whip themselves into a patriotic rage and curse us for 
rebels and traitors and send their soldiers out here to 
drive us out of our religion and our state. 

K. The durned tyrants 1 But what shall we do 
about it ? 



50 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

W. Fight. Figlit, of course. Fight for our liberty, 
to the hist di'Op of Wood! 

y. Listen to the fire-eater. You are the man for 
your phice, Dan — a soldier, every bit of you, but it 
takes more than fire and fury to fight, it takes forces. 
And we haven't enough of them. No, we'll keep the 
little wheel going and growing, until it is big enough 
and then let it knock the big wheel and all its crazy 
machinery into stivers. That's the way to do it. 

K. But until then what shall we do? Shall we 
submit to them ? Shall we give up all of our glorious 
system ? 

Y. Not much, old boy. Then we'll cease to be 
Mormons. There's no use to talk about good-will and 
tolerance between Mormons and Gentiles. There 
can't be any. We can't exist alongside each other 
in the loner mn. It's like the fio^ht between two bull- 
dogs* One or the other must die. They are two 
systems, too opposite to tolerate each other. It's 
either one or the other. It's Columbia or Deseret, 
Washington or Zion, Uncle Sam or Brigham Young. 
We are not a new sect among their old wrangling, 
rotten sects. We are the one and only true church, 
and we are bound to die or rule over the whole 
world. 

jBT. So we are, so we will. 

God speed the glorious happy day, 
When the Gentiles at our feet shall lay. 

Y. Now don't slop over into poetry again, or you'll 

make me sick. That's a confounded ugly habit for 

a man of your position. I've got to hear enough of 

tliat stuff in the Tabernacle, and don't want any of 

il here. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 51 

K. Well, no offence, Brother Brigham. It's just 
thinking of that happy time coming that makes me 
feel like singing, and we are going to conquer, are 
we not? 

Y. Yes, I guess we are, and do you know why? 

K, Because the Lord is on our side, of course. 

Y, Not only the Lord, but the Devil too. 

K, How now. Brother Brigham ? 

Y. Ha, ha, ha ! Heber is scared. That's a good 
one. 

K. But how do you make that out, Brother 
Brigham ? 

Y. Don't you see, old fellow, we have the old man 
on our side, as the Catechisms call him, we've got the 
natural man on the hip ; the Devil is our ally. 

K. How the devil do you mean? 

Y. O, pshaw ! How can you be so stupid, you, my 
right-hand man ? " So long hast thou heard me and 
know'st me not yet ? " Look here, man is an abom- 
inable mixture of sensuality, selfishness and ceremony, 

jBT. Yes, I guess he is. 

Y. Yes, I guess he is, and one of stupidity, too. 

K. Well, go on. President. 

Y. Well, the Gospel of Christ Here, Dan, 

pour me out another glass of whisky. Brother Heber's 
poetry has unsettled my stomach, and it makes my 
throat dry, I have to talk so much to teach you fellows 
some sense. As I was sajdng, the Gospel of Christ, 
bless its simplicity, comes along and collars this same 
natural man, like a policeman does a rowdy, and be- 
gins to club him with repentance and regeneration. 

K. Yes. 

y. But njan, the dogged rascal, doesn't want to be 



52 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

regenerated at all. He's very well satisfied with 
himself as he is. 

K. Yes, I know I am. 

Y. Now shut up, and don't interrupt me any more. 
We all know what a conceited cub you are. The 
Gospel comes along and tells a man, " Look here, 
you overbearing monkey, you're not so much beans 
after all, you're a miserable, sneaking, puny, con- 
temptible, dirty sinner, and you have got to get 
down on your knees and holler for mercy, or you're 
a gone coon." Well, that riles the old Satan in him, 
and he gets up on the high-horse of his pride. Mor- 
monism comes along and tells him : " No, you're not 
so poor and bad as all that, you're all right, you 
belong to the royal priesthood, you are a son of God, 
just you get up off your knees and join the Mormons." 

The Gospel tells him : '^ If you want to please, you 
have to deny yourself, you must sacrifice your goods 
for the poor, giving is more blessed than receiving," 
and all that sort of thing; but man can't see it in that 
light, no, not by a long way. Just the contrary, He 
wants to have all he can get. Well, here we accom- 
modate the greedy cuss again. Then man is fond of 
pomp and show. It is wonderful to notice what a 
silly child the average man is, just as much in love 
with his mummery, as a little child with her dressed-up 
doll baby, especially in religious matters — why he 
would rather go through a whole lifetime of solemn 
ceremony, than to say once : '' God be merciful to me 
a sinner ! " He is too sensual and vulgar. He must 
have something to strike the eye, something tangible. 
Christianity is too spiritual, too abstract. Hence all 
the ritual and hocus-pocus and monkey shines that 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 53 

tlieir church has had to invent to satisfy this weak- 
ness. Here we come in ahead again. We give him 
all the ecclesiastic mummery that he wants. We've got 
more of it than the Greek, the Romish and the Epis- 
copal sects put together, and what is really the 
catching thing about it, is, that we make him an actor 
in this divine comedy, not only a spectator as their 
priests do, who w^ant to don all the costumes and do 
all the pantomime themselves, the jackasses! Yes, 
we've got lots of that, and if we need more, we can 
tap a revelation, and get a fresh supply. We can give 
a man as many duckings as the whole Baptist tribe 
combined. Why, we can make a regular swimming 
water-fowl of him. In our Endowment House over 
there, he can find more mysteries and ceremonies and 
holy gymnastics than all the Masonic Temples and 
Odd Fellows' halls in the country. We put him 
through a complete course of celestial athletics and 
when we get through with him, he'll be glad to lie 
down and take a rest. And then, here's the strongest 
hold we have on him : Man gets tired of having the 
same dish all the time, and he craves for a change. 
He sees a pretty girl, or his neighbor's pretty wife, 
and his heart begins to go pitty-pat. Like a self- 
willed child, he wants the new plaything. In steps 
the church and thunders the seventh commandment 
at him, and curses him for adultery, and even the law 
tackles him and locks him up for crime. 

But that only makes him hotter, just as the for- 
bidden fruit in a neighbor's orchard does a schoolboy, 
The Gospel coolly tells him : Crucify your fleshly lust. 
He don't believe in crucifying, unless it's the fellow 
that stands in his way, so he gets completely dis- 



54 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

gusted with the chuckle-headed Gospel and tells it 
to go to the devil, — that it is all humbug, that he 
don't believe in a God and goes on to have his game, 
or else he pretends to obey piously, and then takes 
it out in lascivious thoughts and imaginings. Now 
unto this poor love-tortured devil comes the Church 
of the Saints and says : Lift up thy heart, thou un- 
happy victim of virtue, come over to us, and you 
shall have your fun; you're not cut out for a monk 
It is only natural that you should want her, 
aye, and it is biblical and it is religious, it is 
God-pleasing. Come and join us and you shall 
have her and as many more as you want and not 
criminally or wickedly at all, — no indeed, in the 
regular comfortable, respectable way of celestial 
marriage. See the rascal prick up his ears and 
stretch out his neck at that, and I tell you when we 
have got him into the sacred inclosure of plural mar- 
riage he is bound to us hand and foot forever, not 
only because we have taken him by his weak side, 
but also because he has put himself outside the pale 
of the law by it, and joined the holy band of sworn 
enemies to the United States. That's the reason I 
insist so strongly on plural marriage. We are not 
sure of a fellow until he has taken a second wife. 
These one-wife chaps are liable at any time to slip 
away from us again. This is the way to succeed with 
men. The Papal church has grown so much on ac- 
count of this knack of accommodation, but they give 
men the patent to sin rather grudgingly, and charge 
too high, since the reformers rapped them over the 
fingers. They carry on a kind of sneaking contra- 
band trade. Mohammed was a much smarter fellow 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 55 

than the shave-pated Pope. He established a whole- 
sale, enterprising business. He added a new depart- 
ment, besides, that was a brilliant hit. I tell you his 
paradise, hell, purgator}^ judgment, and damnation, 
these are the ugly bugbears that make faces and 
shake their fists at a fellow in the midst of his enjoy- 
ment. Mohammed swept them away for the be- 
liever, and got up a heaven of his own, and a right 
jolly place it is. Ah, it makes a man's mouth water 
to think of it, with its olive bowers, its rose gar- 
dens full of scented fountains and beautiful women, 
where a man can just lie down and revel like an ox 
in a clover meadow. We have something of this 
kind in our system too, but we don't lay enough 
stress on it yet. Do you think a man wants to go 
to a heaven where there's no drinking, no dancing, 
and no pretty women but wliere he's got to stand 
before the great white throne, and screech the song 
of Moses forever and ever? Why, it gives him the 
dumb-ague to think of it. He'd rather go straight 
to hell. That's the great mistake of the Christian 
religion. It's right against the grain of men. You 
have to fight and to force it into him like medicine. 
It may be good enough, but it doesn't suit this world 
and therefore it'll have to go to the wall. Old 
Joe Smith was a sharper man than Jesus Christ 
by a good deal. His Yankee contrivance is just 
adapted to man, and so it's just going off like hot 
cakes. 

K. But suppose after all that the gospel is the 
truth, and heaven is not like Mohammed's paradise. 

Y. Bah, what do we know about it? We are in 
the world and will make the best of it, if we a're not 



56 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

confounded fools. And while none of us know any- 
tliing about it, haven't we a right to make a guess at 
it, just as well as anybody else? If we fix it so that 
people will believe it then it will be the truth. That's 
my maxim. And they do believe in it. Just see how 
they are coming from England, Denmark, Germany, 
Sweden, Ireland and Hungary. 

K. Considering that it is an American invention, 
there are few Americans patronizing it. 

Y. They will come, Brother Heber, they will come, 
never fear. 

K. I'm afraid they're too dogged fond of their 
religion and their republic. 

Y. Bosh! Mere babble and bosh, gotten off by 
silly graduating boarding-school girls and milksoppy 
Fourth of July orators. This people of the United 
States are the damnedest fraud and humbug that ever 
existed on the earth. They love liberty and the Gospel 
indeed ! why, they are worse than the children of 
Israel hopping around the Golden Calf. Mammon is 
tlieir God, and in spite of all their pretensions they 
really don't love anything else. What do the politi- 
cians care for liberty or country? They want to get 
into office and swindle the government out of money. 
The editors, likewise, who are fighting each other so 
furiously from over-much patriotism, they want to 
get subscribers and money. Why, I could subsidize 
them by the hundred to praise me up to heaven. I 
could go to Washington and buy the whole Cabinet 
and Congress and all like a drove of cattle. Look 
how they crept around Joseph in Missouri, ready to 
lick his feet for money. It's office and money, patron- 
age and money, lobbying and money, money first, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESIBI^N TURKS, 57 

last, and every time. What does t!»e 'jradesaian, with 
his dry-goods soul, peddling his ribboii or his calico 
at the counter, care for liberty except it's liberty to 
overcharge and cheat his customers ? He wants pro- 
tective tariff and money. What does the greasy 
mechanic or dirty laborer care for your Spread Eagle 
Columbia ? He wants high wages. He goes in for 
strikes and money. What did they get up their 
Yankee Revolution and Declaration of Independence 
for? Because thqy were thirsting for freedom? Not 
much. Because England laid too many taxes on 
them, and wouldn't let them make enough money. 
Why, the damned, ranting, big-mouthed clap-trap, 
corrupt country, everything is for sale in it. A candi- 
date would sell his soul to the devil for votes. The 
voters would sell their votes for a dollar apiece. The 
judges on the bench in their spotless ermine, as they 
call it, can be bribed with money. The preachers, 
when they get a call from a richer congregation with 
more money jump at it, like a dog at a bone, and 
then in their farewell sermons sanctimoniously whine 
about Providence and resignation to the Lord's will. 
The money-makers and monopolists go to church and 
Sunday-school to create confidence in themselves and 
get hold of people's money. Their young men are 
taught from their childhood to cheat and steal and 
make money. Their daughters will sell their hearts 
and maidenheads, if they have any, to the first old 
whoremonger that comes along, provided he has 
enough money. Do you think such a people can keep 
up a republic long ? Not much. A republic is possible 
among only a pure, primitive, heroic people, simple 
and savage, that know nothing about money. Re- 



58 EVELYN GRAY; Oi?, 

publicanism is good enough, but it isn't suited to men 
as thev are now, and therefore it will have to o'o to 
the wall, too. That's the way they all went, Greece, 
Rome, France. As long as they are virtuous and 
barbarous they are strong, but when they get rich 
and refined, corruption, vice and luxury weaken them. 
Then comes some bold strong fellow like Caesar or 
Napoleon, knocks their republic about their ears and 
erects his throne upon its ruins. And I tell you, 
boys, that time is soon coming in this countrv. 
Then Brigham Young will be their Caesar or their 
Napoleon. Then, good-bye to this infernal Sun- 
day-school civilization. Til march to Washington at 
the head of millions. I'll tear down the Goddess 
of Liberty off the Capitol and put the statue of 
Amelia there. I'll knock over the Washington 
monument, and set up my own figure there. I'll 
pitch the President and that everlasting babbledom 
of a Congress into the Potomac. I'll take their wives 
and daughters for my women. I'll have as many as 
Solomon. I'll make the imbecile old Pope come over, 
like Napoleon did, and crown meProphetPriest and 
King of the New World, and there shall be no other 
Lord in America except Brigham Young. 

K. By God! Brother Brigham, yoii are a great 
man! 

Wells. Yes, that's all nice enough, but here's the 
U. S. army marching full head right on us. That 
looks a little different. 

Y. Well, you jack, did I say that I would carryall 
that out now ? 

IF. But what shall we do now? 

F. How many are there ? 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 59 

W. About three thousand strong. 

Y. Who is the commander ? 

TF. Albert Sidney Johnson was in command at 
first, but he has been superseded by Colonel Cooke. 

Y. A brave officer, I have heard — a Southern fire- 
eater. 

W. And the new judge and governor are with the 
army. 

K, Who are they ? 

Y. The governor's name is Dummings and the 
judge is called Letcher. I never heard of them be- 
fore. 

K. It's a dreadful pass that you are superseded. 
How shall we manage now with Gentiles governing 
us and an army of blue-coats to back 'em? 

Y. O, never mind. We'll get rid of the army and 
then we will manage the officers. 

W. Yes, we'll fight 'em, that's all. 

Y. Don't make a jackass of yourself, Dan, how can 
we undertake to fight the United States? 

W. I can undertake to get away with this army. 

Y. Suppose you do, will that be the end of it? 
That would rouse the whole country, and we would 
have a horde of a hundred thousand men down on us 
before we could look around. I'm afraid we've 
exasperated them too much already with our bush- 
whacking and guerilla fighting. 

K, Well, what are you going to do about it ? 

Y. Try the game of bluff first [ rings']^ and if that 
doesn't work, as it probably will not, we must play 
the r61e of submissive loyalty and slandered inno- 
cence. 



60 EVELYN GRAY ; OB, 

Enter Tom, Negro Servant, 
Y. Bring me that letter, \^Exit ToM. 

I hear that our old friend and mediator. Col. 

Kane, is on his way, following up the army. He will 

surely be of good service to us. 

Re-enter Tom ivith letter \_Reads']: 

** To the Officer commanding the forces now invading Utah 
Territory. 

" Governor's Office, Utah Territory, Great Salt Lake. 
" Sir.— 

** By reference to the Act of Congress, organizing the Ter- 
ritory of Utah, you will find the following : 
Sec. 2. And be it further enacted, That the Executive power 
in and over our said Territory be vested in a Governor, who 
shall hold his office for four years, and until his suc- 
cessor BE APPOINTED AND QUALIFIED, unless sooncr re- 
moved by the President of the United States. The Gover- 
nor snail reside within said Territory, shall be Commander- 
in chief of the militia, etc. 
" I am still the Governor and Superintendent of Indian affairs 
for this Territory, no successor having been appointed and quali- 
fied, as provided by law, nor have I been removed by the Presi- 
dent of the United States. 

' ' By virtue of the authority, thus vested in me, I have issued 
and forwarded to you a copy of my proclamation, forbidding the 
entrance of armed forces into this Territory. This you have dis- 
regarded. I now further direct that you retire forthwith from the 
Territory by the same route you entered. 

'' General Wells will forward this, to whom you may make any 
communications regarding the carrying out of my order. 

*'Kespectfully 

** Brigham Young, 

*' Governor and Supt. Indian Affairs, 

Utah Territory." 

Now I don't expect them to pay much attention 
to this, but it may bring active hostilities to a halt 
and give us time. Meanwhile I have, as you know, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 61 

ordered a general move of the saints to the south. 
That will have its effect upon the invaders. Leave 
the rest to me. I'll manage that. Go about your 
business now [^JExeunt. 

Scene II. — Camp of Emigrants in the Rocky 
Mountains Snow Storm. Mr. Ghey, Mrs. Grey, 
Evelyn, Biddy. 

Eve. They are staying very long. 

Mr. G-, And the storm is increasing. 

Mrs. Cr. And who knows if they will bring relief. 

Biddy. Shure an' that they will indade. It's 
meself as hear Misther Robert say to Misther James : 
^' Jimmy," sez he : " An' we be af ther comin' back 
impty-handed, sorra bit will I cum back at all at all." 

Eve. O, I hope they will return to us soon, if it is 
only that we may die together. 

Mrs Gr. Biddy, have any more died in our camp ? 

Biddy. Thruly, that there has, two childers an' 
a owld woman in the last tin minnits. 

Mrs. Gr. .Horrible, horrible. Whose turn wilL be 
next ? [^Report of a gun. 

Eve. There they come ; that's Mr. Norris's rifle. 

Biddy. May all the hov/ly saints above be blissed. 

Jas. and Boh \^at a distance^ singing ] 

(Tune; "My heart's in the Highlands.") 
O, grand Rocky Mountains, 

Thou home of the free ! 
O land of bright fountains 

I glory in thee ! 
Here, fair Colorado, 

Upon my soul beams, 
The true Eldorado 

Of numberless dreams. 



62 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

Here, upward to heaven 

The snowy peaks rise, 
And only commune with 

The clouds and the skies. 
Here, hoary with ages, 

The jagged rocks frown 
And, roaring and foaming, 

The torrents plunge down* 

Where murmuring cascades, 

Flash in the bright dawn. 
Where deep- rent abysses 

And dread chasms yawn. 
Where ten thousand forests, 

Their green bowers rear ; 
O, through them I'll follow 

The fleet mountain deer, 

Rob. Jas. Larry, and Jerry Bowles, a trapper^ 

appear on an adjacent projection, 

Jerri/ B. When the he-bird gits near his mate, he 
commences to sing, 

Jas. There they are huddled together. We are 

coming. 

Bob. 

Weep no more, O, Minnehaha 
Hither comes thy Hiawatha, 
Shot for thee a famous roebuck, 
Shot for thee a deer with antlers. 

Uriter Rob. Jas., Larry and Jerry. 

Jas. How are you, sweetheart? 

Uve. O, so glad to see you back, dearest. We 
have had a terrible time. Thirteen have died of hun- 
ger since you left. But who is this strange-looking 
man? 

Jas. This is Jerry Bowles, the renowned trapper, 
an old companion of mine. 



THir VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 63 

Jerry. Yes indeed ; me an' the young fellur ha' 
seen sum hot time on the perarie a fightin' Injun an' 
huntin' deer an' buffler ; but I see he hev brought 
down the finest deer without my help. She ar a 
lovely creetur', sartiut, Jim, wi«hin' both on ye much 
joy an' satisfacshun. But now, my boy, let's hurry 
an' git a chaw 6' the ole buck ready. They don't 
look as the'd turn up their noses at a good dinner. 
Here, Patsey, shie 'im over hyar. Now, jess gie me 
the grip o' the springer wie my bowie, an' you'll ha' 
some steak more tender nor butter in the pipe of a 
Comanche's feather. Thar's the fire burnin' like all 
blazes an' the fryin'-pan sot on, too. Golly, who's 
been a cloin o' all this ? 

Larry, Faix, an' ye moight be shure 'twas me owld 
woman Biddy here. 

Jerry. Waal, ye air the kin' o' gal to hav aroun'. 
Your hed ur level. Hyar, jess you slap them steaks 
in the pan while I slice 'em off. Ain't none o'yourn 
gone under yet, ole gal? 

Biddy. Sorra one o' the bouchaleens is left but me 
an' me owld man, Larry. The childers went under 
boord in the owld counthry, an' one on the oshun. 
wurrahsthrew! n' we's tough as a garran ; we's from 
Ireland an' used to cowld an' starvin'. 

Mrs. Gr. Who is this strange being ? 

Jas. This is Mrs. Gray, Jerry, the mother of the 
young lady. 

Jerry. Gie's a grab o' yur fist, ole woman. Jerry 
Bowles are blamed glad to see ye. 

Mrs. ix. What does he say ? 

Jerry. Waal, ma'am, it ur sixteen years cum nex 
Christmas sence I wur in a lady's parlor las', an' 



64 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

never seed no wimmiii sence, exceptiu' dirty Injun 
squaw an' Mormon winimiu, wich, by my recknin', 
aint no wimmin at all, an' I ain't in shootin' range o' 
the fine manners in coorse. Howsumdever ef I can't 
wag my tail an' palaver moonshine to the gals, thet 
don't signify, as 1 ain't got no heart in my belly no 
more. So ma'am, whenever you git corralled, jes you 
fire the warnin' to ole Jerry, an' durned if you don't 
fin' him there. Me an' Jimmy seed gobs o' hot 
work on the perarie an' the mountain wi' the buffler 
an' the Injun, an' never had no rumpus one or tuther, 
till to-day, when he let on fur to shoot an' skin his 
ole chum fur a grizzly bar. 

Uve. O, James ! 

Jerri/, Shure as the Bible, my beauty. Ye never 
knowed as yer sweetheart wur sich a bloody Sioux, 
did ye ? I wur up in the mountain an' seed the bliz- 
zard a cummin' on, so I crawls in a hole in the rock, 
that ur the snuggest corner in the Rockies. I drawed 
a ole grizzly oaten it wonst an' now I calls it Jerry's 
drawin' room. Waal, I wiggles in thar an' eats my 
grub an' then lays back in my buffler's robe an' 
smokes my pipe jes as cool as Paddy thar. The nex 
thing I hearn sumbody a palaverin' ; Hold up. Bob. 
I'll fotch him ! An' when I peeps afore me I sees 
yer sweet lovin' Jimmy wi's blunderbuss at a dead 
level straight at my pipe an' his' claws on the trig- 
gei-. By the thunderin' tarnation, that did fotch me 
outen thar quicker en' greased lightnin'. Ha, ha I that 
ai- a yarn fur to tell at the camp fire of a night. 
Jimmy Sinclair shootin' ole Rocky Mountin. Jerry 
fur to skin an' roast fur bar's meat. Ha, ha, ha! 
You'd fin him ravther tuff eatin' tho' I m a kalkerlatin, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 65 

tuffer'ii a ten year ole turkey buzzard, but not ez tuff 
az ole Briggum, durn his blarsted hide. Wish I hed 
the ole coon hyar now fur to roast on this hyar fire. 
But cum now, ye hungry saints of the west, the steak 
ur dun an' a lusty bite it ur, better'n ye'U ever git 
in yer holy swindlin' Salt Lake, I kin tell yer. 
[Mr. Ghay falls.'] 

Biddy. O, what's the matter wid Misther Gray ? 

JEve. O, my father ! O God he is dying ! 

Mrs. a. Dying ! O, I wUl faint. Help, help ! 

Jerry. A heap o ' good that'll do the ole man, ef 
you faint, ma'am. 

Hob. Here Jim and Jerry, take hold ; let's place 
him on the blanket. So, place his head higher. Some 
water. No, I'm afraid he's too far gone. He's 
dying. 

JEve. O, papa, dearest papa, speak to me ! 

Mr. Gr. God bless you, my darling child — 

Mrs. Gr. O, husband, has it come to this ! O, what 
shall I do ! To die here in this mountain wilderness. 
Not to reach Zion, O, it is terrible ! 

Mr. Gr. I am going to the true Zion. Dearest 
wife, it was all a mistake, but that is past now. I am 
content. Evelyn — 

Uve. Yes, papa — 

Mr. Gr. Put your hand in James's — so — come close 
to me. I know you truly love each other. God 
bless you both — take good care of her, James. 

Jas. God hears me, I will go through a thousand 
deaths for her. 

Mr. Gr. I believe it. You are going into worse 
troubles than these. Perhaps we will all be together 



66 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

soon. God bless you both. Dearest wife, lean on 
him and be kind to him. He is your son. 

Mrs. a, O God, O God, what shall I do ! 

Mr. a. Trust in God, it will all be well. Biddy, 
good-bye. Stand by her still, will you ? 

Biddy Och, the howly Saviour ! The swate man ! 
Shure an ' it is thinkin 'ov it ez long ez I live. May 
all the bad luck come to me, if I iver leave her, sur. 

Mr. Gr. It is all so strange, yet I am peaceful now. 
It is not so hard to die. '' The Lord is mj shepherd, 
I shall not want — Yea, though I walk through the 
valley of the shadow of death, I — 

jRob. I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me, thy 
rod and thy staff comfort me — " 

Mr. Gr. " They comfort me ! " [Dies. 

Hob. He is gone. [Mrs. G. faints.] 

Jas. See to Mrs. Grey, Biddy, please. 

Jerry. Durn ef she ain't kep' her word. Waal 
thet's jess like the sect. They gives up jess whar 
they hadn't orter. 

JEnter Captain Savage. 

Jerry. Hello, Levi ; this hyar air fine Mormin doins. 

Savage. Hello, Jerry, I didn't see you at all. Yes, 
this is terrible, no mistake — but, gentlemen, I came 
to give the signal fur startin'. 

Rob. But we can't start now, Captain. 

Savage. We've got to, Mr. Norris. The storm is 
gettin' worse all the time. There's no rations an' no 
shelter here. Our tents are all torn. We have 
word that a relief train is out by the Sweet Water a 
lookin' fur us. I'd like to git thar fur afore night. 

Jerry. Waal, Levi Savage, ye must a' been turnin' 
mighty sheep-headed an' chicken-hearted, fur to carry 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 67 

on ill thet air way. Durned, if I don't believe the 
snow er got in yer eyes an' made you's blin' as a 
possum. Wat do ye call this hyar buck, aint that, 
raytions? 

Savage. Yes, I see yer buck, Jerry, but all ov 'im 
wouldn't go roun' wonst in sich a big cumpany. 
He'll do fur a little bite to 'em all afore we start. 
But ef we wait till you bag more game night'll come 
on us, an' the wimmin an' childern '11 be all froze. 
We're boun' to push on. 

Mob, But what of the dead? We can't leave him 
here to the wolves and the buzzards. 

Sav. Time is mighty close but I'll go an' try to 
git some men to dig a grave. They're almost peg- 
ged out wi' that same kin' o' work — but I see as the 
Irish fellur's at it already. 

Jerry. Durned, ef he ain't got it near entirely done. 
Bully for Paddy ! Waal, a pickaxe an' a shovel cums 
nat'ral to a Irishman like a fiddle to a moosishun. 

Mr^. a. O God! O Biddy, where am I ? O, my, 
what shall I do ? 

Roh. Mrs. Gray is reviving and the grave is ready. 
Come, Jim, let us try and proceed. 

Jas. Darling Evelyn — 

Biddg. Och, och, avilish ! See her sittin' there 
so white an' starin' as if she had seen somethin', 
the swate girsha. Come, git up, me honey, that's a 
good darlint. 

Eve. Dead, dead, my father dead ! Is it true, 
James ? Is it not a horrible dream ? 

Jas. Alas, it is true, my poor, precious, noble girl. 

Eve. No, it must be a dream. This wild mountain 
scenery, this raging snow-storm, these awestruck, 



68 EVELYN GBAY; OR, 

emaciated faces, and this white, white face, with the 
snow falhng on it. It seems a familiar face, a beloved 
sleeping face. Mamma dear, keep still, you will 
wake poor papa up. 

Bob. Jim, it is time you got her away. The 
stroke is too heavy for her. 

Jas. Hurry up, for God's sake ! Let's get away. 

Hob. Come, my friends, lend a hand. \_Thei/ lower 
the body."] 

Biddy. Och, avick, avick. The noble man all out. 
to be put under the turf out here in the haythin 
wilderness widout a praste an' a dacint berryin'. 

Mrs.Gr. O, if only brother Lee were here. 

Jerry. Wot, John Lee, the bishop ? Yaas. Gosh darn 
it, it ud be a raal cumfort to ram his kickin' karkase 
down in the hole thar. Waal, bein' as thar ain't no 
parson, nuther Gentile nur heathen Mormin, in shoot- 
in' range, I specks ez you'll hafter do up the prayin' 
bizness, Bob, case you are the only college larnt 
aroun', an' Jim ur a kin' o' mourner like, ye know. 
So pull trigger an'fire away, me boy. 

Bob. [r^acZ^] : 

*' Man that is born of a woman is of few days, 
and full of trouble. He cometh forth like a flower and 
is cut down : he fleeth also as a shadow, and continu- 
eth not. 

All flesh is grass, and all the goodness thereof is 
as the flower of the field. In the morning it flourish- 
eth and groweth up ; in the evening it is cut down 
and withereth. 

I am the resurrection, and the life: he that belie v- 
eth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. 

Let not your heart be troubled : ye believe in God, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 69 

believe also in me. In my Father's house are many- 
mansions : if it were not so I would have told you. 
I go to prepare a place for you. 

The hour is coming, in which all that are in the 
graves shall hear his voice and shall come forth : they 
that have done good unto the resurection of life ; they 
that have done evil unto the resurrection of judgment. 

It is sown in corruption ; it is raised in incorruption: 
It is sown in dishonor ; it is raised in glory : it is 
sown in weakness ; it is raised m power : it is sown a 
natural body ; it is raised a spiritual body. 

O death, where is thy sting ? O grave where is thy 
victory ? 

The sting of death is sin ; the strength of sin is 
the law. But, thanks be to God, which giveth us 
the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 

And there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, 
nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain. 
And there shall be no night there ; and they need no 
candle, neither light of the sun, for the Lord giveth 
them light and they shall reign for ever and ever. 

Blessed be the dead who die in the Lord, yea, 
saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, 
and their works do follow them." [^Exeunt. 



SCENE III. — Sat Lake City. Balcony of Brigham 

Young's House. Brigham Young, Heber C. 

Kimball, Dan'l H. Wells, John Taylor, 

Gorge Q. Cannon, Orson Pratt, Orson Hyde. 

Brigham Young, Well, boys we have got them, 

and the Government of the United States has gone 

and made a jackass of itself again. 



70 EYEYLN GRAY; OR, 

John Taylor. How did you manage it all, Brother 
Brigham ? 

Y, Wliy, as easy as taking a diink of whiskey. 

Wells, Can't you tell us about it now? We've 
all been curious what all this liobuobbnig and con- 
ference with tliese Washington fellers was about. 

Y, So you have been curious, eh ? That's good 
fun for nie. Ha, ha, ha ! And perhaps you didn't 
like being shut out from this hobnobbing, as you call 
it, eh ? 

K. No indeed. President, we're all satisfied with 
what you do. We know you understand these mat- 
ters best. 

Y. I should think so. A nice botch you would 
have made of it, if I had called you in. But I don't 
mind letting you know what I have done, to see if 
it meets your high and mightj" approval. 

Orr, Pratt. Tlie President is in a mighty good 
humor to-day. 

Y. Well, the long and short of it is that I have 
made a treaty of peace with the President of the 
United States. Col. Kane, who came by the Avay 
of California, represented to the Government that 
there was no wrong intended, and that we were 
peaceable minded citizens. Thereupon the good 
President, without paying any attention to the army, 
sent these two peace commissioners out here, Powell 
and McCullock, and we fixed up things together. 

Wells. May we know the conditions of this 
treaty? 

Y. I have no objections, my brave General. The 
principal stipulations are that the Army of Utah, as 
they call their shabby force, shall march through the 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 71 

city without halting, and not encamp until they 
pass the Jordan and not be stationed within forty 
miles of the city, and that they shall protect private 
property 

On the other hand, we promise to submit to the 
Government authority in the person of the new 
federal appointee, and that we accept the President's 
pardon. 

Wells. Pakdon ! What pardon ? We don't want 
to be pardoned, we are no criminals. We have done 
nothing wrong. 

Y. Shut up, Dan ; what do you know about 
diplomacy ? 

W. Damn diplomacy ! I know we didn't do any- 
thing but fight for our rights, and we'll do it again. 

y. Won't you shut your big mouth, now ? 

W. Well, what crime have we committed ? 

Y. Dear me, some people's mouths are so big in 
their heads, they take up the roonl of the brains. 
What have we done ? Why, we have done that for 
which any other except this mamby-pamby Govern- 
ment would have put the Territory under martial 
law and strung a half-dozen of us up like a row of 
shirts on a clothes-line. What have we done? I 
think you, most enlightened and irrepressible general 
of the mighty Nauvoo legion, have done your share. 
It was by your orders that the animals of the invad- 
ing army were stampeded, their trains set on fire, 
the country burned before them and on their flanks, 
the road, blocked by fallen trees and the river ford 
destroyed. 

W. Well 

Y. It was by your orders that Captain Lot Smith 



72 EVELYN GBAT; OB, 

captured and burned on Green river three of their 
supply trains consisting of seventy-five wagons 
loaded with provisions and tents and carried 
away several hundred animals. 

W. Yes, it was done by my orders, which you gave, 
and it was honest warfare against an invading enemy. 

Y. Warfare ! Enemy ! Do you know, great 
leader of warriors, what they call those subjects who 
make war upon their country's army ? Rebels and 
traitors. And do you know their punishment? 
Death. I thought you would have sense enough to 
thank me for saving your thick neck from the halter 
by my diplomacy; but you are so childishly crazy 
with your new dignity of general that, like a boy 
with a new toy pistol, you want to go forth and fight 
the whole world. You must have been reading Jack 
the Giant Killer. 

W. No, I have been listening to your fiery sermons. 

Y. The more - jackass you, for listening without 
learning. You are like some more here. You can't 
see the difference between ideals and reality, between 
the present and the future. For the present we have 
to submit, and we may be glad to get off as easy as 
we did, and get this army away as far as we do. 
If it hadn't been for the idiotic, imbecile government 
in Washington, this commander woula have pounded 
pur Zion all to pieces, instead of marching through 
it without daring to raise his hand. He has been 
treated shamefully. It is an outrage. If I was in 
his place, I'd go to Washington and throw my sword 
at the President's feet, and tell him to go to hell 
with his army, and I bet he is mad enough to do it. 
Kimball. Here comes the new governor and judge. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 73 

Unter Gov. Dummings and Judge Letcher. 

Dummings. Good morning, your excellency. We 
have called to pay our respects and watch the pro- 
cession of the army. 

Y. You are welcome, gentlemen. Come up and 
take seats. I am glad to see you. 

D. These are some of the pillars of the church, I 
presume. 

Y. Yes, sir, they are the pillars. We were just 
speaking of the happy settlement of our troubles. 

D, Yes, it is indeed a matter of congratulation and 
rejoicing. 

r. You see now that we are not so bad as our 
enemies make us out to be. 

D, I never did think so. 

Y, We are peculiar people, but inoffensive withal. 

D. I know it, sir. 

Y. We have our own views about religion, and all 
we demand is the privilege to hold them. 

D. Certainly sir, certainly, a right which the gov- 
ernment guarantees to all her citizens. 

Y. All allegations to the contrary are the malicious 
slanders of our enemies. 

D. I believe it, sir. 

Y. Truth always will have enemies. 

D. Of course, of course, but we must not mind 
them. 

Y. No, we don't, except when they impugn our 
loyalty to the United States. That is hard to bear. 

D. Pay no regard to it, dear sir. We do not be- 
lieve a word of it. I shall with pleasure write the 
good news to Washington that our Mormon brethren 
are true to the old flag. 



74 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

Y. Do so, and send the President my humble 
respects, and assure him of my devotion and alle- 
giance. 

B. I will attend to it, depend upon it ; and now, 
confidentially, dear sir, among ourselves, you know — 

Y. I understand, you may rely on us. 

D. Well, to tell the truth, the President would not 
have superseded you, but for the unfortunate repre- 
sentation of some extreme partisan politicians, who 
affirmed that the country would punish the party in 
the ensuing election, if some step were not taken. 

Y. Our enemies again. 

B. Of course, of course, but my only regret is, that 
I was chosen as the instrument of this — this plot. 
I am an unworthy successor of j^our excellency. 

Y. Your excellency underrates yourself. 

D. Not at all, not at all, it almost kills me to think 
that these good people must look upon me as an in- 
truder, and an usurper of their illustrious leader's 
place. 

Y. You can easily remove their prejudice and 
distrust, by proving their friend. 

D. It will be my prayerful striving to do so — and 
may I not enjoy the valuable aid of your counsel, 
sir? 

Y, It is at your service at all times. 

B. Thanks, my heartfelt thanks ! and now, I hope 
the poor fugitives will soon return, and no others 
will hereafter leave. 

Y, I will assure the people of your protection. 
That will bring them back. Your honor received the 
records, did you not ? 

Judge Letcher. I did. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 75 

T. You see they were not destroyed, as was spread 
about by our enemies. They were merely taken 
into safe keeping, 

L. But that was a suspicious and violent measure, 
you must see. 

Y. It was a necessary measure in the confusion 
and uproar, into which your predecessor precipitated 
the court. 

L. Yes, there seems to have been confusion enough, 
but I hope we will be able to bring form and order 
out of the chaos. It is my firm determination to 
mete out impartial justice to Mormon, Gentile, Apos- 
tate, and all alike. Especially will I see that justice 
is done to women. 

Cannon. From my acquaintance with your honor, 
I fear you will be a little partial to the ladies. 

L. {Laughs.} Ha ! ha ! I always was a ladies' man, 
and the sentiment grows with my age. 

T. It is quite natural ; it is my case, too. The sen- 
timent does you honor, sir. We all cultivate a wide- 
hearted fondness and gallantry toward the gentler 
sex. We are all noted ladies' men, are we not, 
George ? 

0. Yes, indeed. (Laughter.^ 

Taylor. The soldiers are coming. 

( U. S. troops file through streets.') 

K. \aside\ Damn the cursed invaders. I wish 
we could turn the Danites loose on them. 

T. \aside'\ I am afraid the boys would get the 
worst of it. 

K. \aside'\ We ought to have let them run the 
rascals out in the canyon. That was our plan, but 
Brother Brigham wouldn't listen to it. 



76 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

T. laside"] He was right. That would have 
sealed our fate. 

jff. [^asidel O, pshaw ! we could have blamed the 
Indians for it. 

Cannon. They are a fine body of men. 

T. Yes, General Dan ought to take a copy off 
them. 

W. Bah! If we had been allowed to fight them 
as we wanted to, we'd have spoiled their good looks 
damn soon. 

L. It was a pity and a wrong that they were not 
allowed to fight after you worried them with your 
guerilla warfare. 

D. Judge, Judge, not so harsh. We should all be 
glad that peace was obtained without bloodshed. 
" How good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell 
together in unity. '' Let us not stir up old feelings 
of strife and discord. 

Y. Col. Cooke looks like a soldier, every inch of 
him. 

Cannon. He looks rather glum and gloomy. 

L. I do not wonder. Well, the procession has 
passed. We will obtrude ourselves no longer. Are 
you going, Governor ? 

D. Yes, Judge, although I hate to leave such pleas- 
ant company. Good-bye, Mr. Young, I will never 
forget your kind assurances. Good day, gentlemen. 
I hope to see you soon again. 

[^Uxeunt B. and L. 

I. Good-bye, may the devil go with you ! What 
do you think of them boys? 

T. I think we needn't fear the governor. 

Y. Hardly, for a more imbecile, doting old sim- 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTERN TURKS. 77 

pleton I never did see. When you go to Washing- 
ton, next winter, George, just give the President my 
thanks for sending this dummy out here. 

C. They call Utah the Botany Bay of worn-out 
politicians in Washington. They send only their old 
lumber out here. 

K. It is fortunate for us, they do. 

0. Hyde. But the new judge ain't so kindly like. 

B. No, he seems inclined to be skittish. 

0. Hyde. What are ye going to do about him, 
President ? 

Y. I believe he's rather spoons on women, George. 

Cannon. As hot as a goat. I have heard a good 
deal about him ; he's one of the Washington hangers- 
on, whose record you don't have to look up. They 
tell some rather wild stories about him in the east. 

0. Pratt. I noticed it on him right away. 

N. On the principle that one dog will smell an- 
other [laughter'] ; but that soft spot in him will be 
the point where I will drive my knife home. I have 
found you out already, old Letcher, I have a bate 
for you, you terrible judge, that will hook you out 
of your judicial waters and send you flying across 
the mountains. 

H. No, what is that. Brother Brigham? 

Y. Never mind. Leave him to me. If he doesn't 
fly from the Territory or join the Church in three 
weeks, then don't believe in me any more. 

W. I guess a good many don't believe you any 
more, nohow. 

r. What, sir! 

W. Yes, I have said it now and I can't help it. 

Y. What do you mean, sirrah ? 



78 EVELYN GBAT; OB, 

W. Why, the jjeople are worked up a good deal 
about this peace and pardon business and also about 
the handcart scheme. Now, since scores of the emi- 
grants have been starved and frozen to death, they 
don't believe in its divine origin any more. 

Y. Well, who does ? 

W. You proclaimed that God revealed it to you. 

Y. You're a damned fool. 

W. Of course you can go on swearing at me. 

Y. And if you don't keep still I'll kick you off this 
balcony, jou big, blundering, impudent bull. 

W. Wonder who's the biggest bull in the crowd. 

Y. Won' t anybody protect me from his blasphemy ? 

-ST. Keep quiet now, Brother Dan. 

Taylor. Don't get so enraged. Brother Brigham, he 
don't mean any harm. 

Y. What, are you all in a plot against me, you 
rebel scamps ? 

T. I swear we are not ; we are yours through life 
and through death. 

All. So we are, so we are. 

Y. A hell of a set of discix^les you are to stand 
around and let a drunken blackguard insult your 
prophet. 

K. Keep quiet, Dan, it will soon be over. 

Y. A beautiful crowd. You and the people can go 
to the devil. What have I to do with your vagabond 
emigrants. Is it my fault that they die on the way? 

K. Keep quiet, Dan., I tell you. 

Y. Didn't the first company arrive all right, weeks 
ago? 

Hyde. Of course, came into Zion singing psalms. 

Y. Why didn't the others arrive before the cold 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTEBN TURKS. 79 

weather? Because tliey didn't start in time. Who 
wouldn't let them start? Was I on the Mississippi 
to keep them back ? Who was it, then ? 

jBT. [asideJi Now he's looking around for scape- 
goats. 

Y. Wasn't it that rascally Spenser and the apostle 
Richards? Brother John you just came from there. 
Tell them if it isn't so. 

Taylor. Exactly. 

T. So there. Are you all satisfied now ? 

All. We are, we are. 

T. And you, General Brute, what do you say? 

jff". Apologize, Dan. l_aside.^ 

W. Well, President, I am sorry. I only wished to 
let you know what the people say. 

Y. Damn the people. The people are a drove of 
cattle. How dare you tell me that I am to listen to 
the opinions of the people — the rabble ? What bus- 
iness have they to think and have opinions ? I think 
for them. I want you to tell the people on whose 
heads the death of the emigrants rests. Do you 
understand ? 

AIL We will, we will. 

Y. I don't propose to take other men's sins on my 
shoulders. There, what crowd is that? 
Unter John D. Lee. 

Lee. Brother Brigham, the han' carters are here. 

Y. Is that so ? Go all of you and provide for their 
comfort. [^Exeunt all except Lee.] 

A dilapidated looking crew, certainly, all skin and 
bones and rags. I am sorry it turned out so, but 
there are several thousands in my pocket. Who are 



80 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

those people in the group nearest us ? They don't 
look like Mormons. 

Lee. O, them is my friends, the Greys. I just 
heard as the ole man went under in the mountains. 

Y. What ! Why, that's good news. Old Grey 
dead ! The gods are smiling on me altogether. Who 
are the two young men, John ? 

L. Them is the two young fellers I told you about. 
That 'un with the whiskers is named Norris and is a 
correspondent of some big New York paper. And 
the other is Jim St. Clair who was a captain in the 
army. He's engaged to Evelyn Grey, you know. 

r. Wliich is Evelyn ? 

L, There she stands next to her beau — Damn 
him ! She ^ looks a little thinner than she did in 
New York. 

Y. A durned pretty girl. What do they want 
here, these two young gents ? They won't take the 
vows will they ? 

L. Not if I know 'em. 'Spose they wanted to take 
a hand in the Mormon war. 

Y. Ah, indeed, the pen and the sword — They're a 
little late, though. O, heavens ! but she is — Say, 
John, you say they are engaged ? 

i. Yes \_aside'\ I'll be hanged if he ain't f allin' in 
love with her already. Jist wot I was afraid of. 

Y. They are going away. 

L. Yes, and Savage is going to take them along 
to his house. 

Y. Savage, that's the fellow who made the fuss with 
Richards about the hand-carts, is it not ? 

L. Yes. 

Y. He has only one wife, I believe ? 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 81 

L. Yes, so I hear. 

Y. Bad case. Those people oughtn't to go to his 

house. Run and tell George Cannon to take the 

ladies along with him and give them my regards and 

sympathies. [Uxit Lee.] 

Y. By the Almighty God, I never saw a sweeter 
girl in all my life. The sight of her just melts one's 
senses like wax. I must have her in spite of bride- 
groom and all hell. I am sick of my old rips any- 
how. Lord, I'd give my best farm for a kiss from 
her now. I'll go to see them to-morrow and see how 
the land lies. They are all in my power. She can- 
not escape me. [^Uxit.'] 

SCENE IV.— Salt Lake City. Street in front of 
Endowment House. 
Enter Biddy Mahone. 
Biddy. Tare an' ounty, there's me owld man gone 
a shaughran agin, the vagabone, an' me a batin' his 
thracks all through this haythen town. Mavrone, but 
it's the nice and dacint place all out, with the pretty 
little cothages an' the bit of garden patch atwixt and 
afore 'em fur the phaties an' the flowers. An' it's 
the swate morsil of a shanty we've got from the Profit, 
that it is sartint, barrin' the howls in the roof an' in 
the windy. An' it's the God's own mud they makes 
the houses of here an' thin they calls them dobies, bad 
cess to 'em. An' didn't I tell the lazy spalpeen this 
blissid mornin' , sez I to him : " Larry ashtore, it's 
after fixin' up the shanty, ye should be, to kape out 
the sugh, an'- didn't the thief of the world promise me 
he was goin' fur the corragh an' the thatch an' away he 

wint an' that's the las' I seen on the thrue bit 

6 



82 EVELYN GBAT; OB, 

of him. It's a boozin' he is, in a shebeen house, I 
know, the flipe ; an' here's the same howly Indowmin' 
House, where we's goin' to be washed an' imbalmed 
an' made thrue saints of us entoirely. An' Miss 
Evelyn, the darlint, is gone afore an' all them hay- 
than Daynes — Och, och, an' may be the bloody Mor- 
mins or Gintile sodgers is af ther doin' the harm to him 
an' it's not the loikes o' Larry that kin howld his 
tongue, whin the craythur is in him. O Larry, me 
bouchal, if you only cum back to yer poor Biddy 
wonst again, sorry a scowldin' word she'll be after 
spakin' to yez at all any more, O, wurrah shtrew ! 
Enter Larry, singing. 

St. Pathrick was a jolly praste. 

AUorum, allorum — 
And prache he did to man an' baste, 

Allorum, Allorum— 

Biddy. Bad scran to the screechin' of ye, ye 
boozy baste ; it's scourin' the howl counthry I've been 
fur the glimpse o' ye. 

(JLarry sings.') 

And all the craythurs they got tame 

Exshept the shnakes — allorum — 
So in his boots he put the same 
Allorum— Allorum 

Biddy. It's the ondacint blaggard ye be, Larry 
Mahone, a shtandin' here an' pipin' yer feasthalagh 
foment the howly Endrownin' House. 

Larry. Drownin', drownin' did she say ? Musha, 
it's drownded I am already wid poteen. 

Biddy. Faith, an' it's aisy enough fur to see that 
same, an' ye drookin, wid the drink like a muck 
fresh from the flush. Throth, an' it's ye that has 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 83 

a nose fur snifthrin' out the sheebeen anywhere, an' 
it's that same lantern nose o' yourn that'll shteer us 
in the poor-house yit. I thocht that now, since we 
cum to the new counthry, ye'd be afther thryin' to 
lay by yer scollops fur the windy day an' not go on 
sindin' yer substance down that red lane o' yourn, 
a-vehonce. 

L. Musha, is it that ye'd make the dirthy misert 
o' me, an' we jist come in the promised land. By the 
same token, Biddy a-hagur, whist, lass it's excimmi- 
cated an' damned ye all would be, if yer Larrj hadn't 
taken a turn into that same shebeen. 

B. Hut, tut ! ye don't ballyrag over me that gait. 

L. On me sowl, it's the thruth I'm shpakin'. 
Does ye see, a-hagur, it's the Prophit's shebeen, shure 
indade — a blessin on him fur the raal an' dacint 
Prophit all out ! — and whin one of the saints makes 
bowld to snake past an' not take his drap in there, 
won't he jist be afther gittin' his everlastin' gruel 
partiklar, the thief ? So ye see, Biddy avourneen, it's 
me holy religious doothy I has been performin' fur 
yez all. 

B. An' whose bin the koind to giv ye all this 
nonsinse. 

L. Throth, lass, it's yerself that niver kin consther 
that. Wud ye believe it, Biddy ashthore, that it was 
Phelim O'Dowd's own self as walks up to me in the 
shtrate this mornin', an says he to me, givin me a kelp 
'on the showldher, sez he : " Good cess to ye, Larry 
Mahone, an' what is yer mother's son afther doin' out 
here in Utah ?" 

B, Thunther-an-ouns', Phelim O'Dowd in Ameriky, 
an' out here in Zion ! Hasn't the devil bro't him to 



84 EVELYN GRAY; OR 

the halther yit, bad luck to the day ye clapt eyes on 
him agin'. 

Jj. Agra, he's the good man with the kippeen, or 
at a song, as ever pulled scrapers over the turf, an' 
it's a jorum we tuk together in honor of owld Erin. 

So it's in our boots we kape the slinakes, 

Allorum, Allorum — 
And every one for Erin takes 

A jorum, jorum.— 

J3. A three-quarter clift, a sling poke, a-vehonce, 
bad cess to the morsil of 'im ! At wakes an' weddins, 
an' in a drunkin' bout he's the good man indade, the 
profligate. An' it waz this same good man as brocht 
ye near the stone jug in the owld counthry, wid yer 
ructions an' roysterin', an' it's comin' here to Zion 
now he is to folly yer wi's diviltries. But ye'd better 
not bring him into me sight or, dher manim, it's me- 
self, Biddy Mahone, as'U tache him by hand what a 
good man he is, the reprobaste. 

L. Agra, divil a bit ye'll have the chance, it's a 
thinkin' I am ; for he's goin away to Californy this 
blissid day. Do you see he's a tamester, is Phelim 
O'Dowd, an' dhrives the tame wid sivin big horses to 
the fore. But it's the bloody Gintile he is yit, an he 
laughs at the saints, body an' slaves, an' he says if 
we go in this same divil's Indrownin House, we'll be 
drowned an' murdered an' cut in paces afore we git 
out alive ; an' he swears that Briggum Yung, the 
Proffit ates a Gintile fur dinner ev'ry day of his life ; 
an' wonst a wake, he ates one of his own childers to 
kape 'em from gitten too plintiful, do you see. By the 
same token it's lashins o'wives he's got, as many as 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTERN TURKS. 85 

that owld king of the chatin Jews, Sollimun, an' whin 
a clutch o' new saints come from the owld counthry, 
he picks out the youngest and fattest colleens fur his 
own use, an' makes their husban's take away his owld 
wons, the rogora. An it's thinking an' throublin' me 
sowl I've been, as the owld garran'll be afther takin' 
me Biddy away from me, acushla machree, since it's 
the dacint woman ye are, as is well beknown, an' 
thin it's a widdy poor Larry'U be, O, wurrah sthrew ! 
O, wurrah sthrew ! 

B. It's a widdy ye'd be, ye flipe ! Ye has been 
makin' sheep's eyes at some colleen yerself, an' its 
the comedher ye want to put on her, ye onfaithful 
spalpeen. Well, it's afther thryin' it, ye shed be, 
whin Biddy Mahone is aroun', that's all. 
Enter Jas. and Rob. 

Jas. Why, Biddy, you here ? Where is Miss 
Evelyn ? 

B. Death alive, the darlint, it's inside she is, an' I 
lavin'her to folly the thracks of this thruant, mavrone 
ortli ! An' it's kapin' me here now wid his nonsinse 
an' his blarney, he is, whin it's time to go in. Come 
along wid ye, ye blatherskite, it's ill my common to 
take the throuble wi' the likes of yez, the ongracious 
haythan as ud rayther be a boozin' wid Phelim 
O'Dowd than cum to the holy Indowmin' House. 
Walk in now, I say. 

[Uxeunt Biddy and Larry.] 

Roh. I hope you appreciate this inspiring example 
of matrimonial felicity, Jim. 

Jas. Biddy evidently has the upper hand, and un- 
doubtedly she is right, for Larry is an arrant bibber. 
He is half-seas over now. 



86 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

Boh. I fear he'll create a fracas inside, in his pres- 
ent Irish mood. But why do you insist on going 
thro' this Endowment House humbug ? 

Jas. Mainly on Evelyn's account, and she, in turn, 
goes on account of her mother. Mrs. Gray's infatua- 
tion has not abated a whit yet. She is too ill to go 
through the mill herself at present, and therefore 
urges Evelyn. 

Bob. And Evelyn ? 

Jas. You know she has committed herself to investi- 
gate Mormonism personally. What she has seen thus 
far disgusts her ; but on the other hand she is anxious, 
for the sake of seeing her mother undeceived, to hurry 
through the whole programme, and get away as soon 
as possible, and on the other hand, she is too innocent 
and unsuspecting to even imagine the impurities 
and enormities of the Brighamites. I don't believe 
she could realize them if told about them, which she 
hasn't been. Then also we do not know to what 
extent Polygamy really exists among the Mormons. 
I never could find that out. Is it not possible that 
the picture has been overdrawn and the reports 
greatly exaggerated ? You know in piquant and scan- 
dalous secrets morbid Fancy indulges her wildest play. 
It may be confined to the fanatic and villainous leaders 
of a stupid sect, and in this Christian and enlightened 
country it cannot be left to stay much longer there. 

Bob. Who knows? But don't you anticipate 
trouble from your invasion of their secret rites ? You 
know they guard them as jealously as the Greeks did 
the Eleusinian mysteries, and the Danites are as- 
suredly no myths. 

Jas. I am not afraid. Where Evelyn goes, there 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTERN TURKS. 87 

I will follow, if whole legions of Mormons lurk by the 
way. If a Federal Governor, backed by a United 
States army, cannot protect Americans in their own 
country, then they are safe nowhere, and have to look 
out for themselves. 

Hob. Well, I suppose we are on the red list of pro- 
scription anyhow, so we might as well make the best 
use of our opportunities. If I only get time to write 
up this Endowment performance and get it off for the 
paper then the Danites may do their worst. So come 
on, Jim. 



SCENE V. — Endowment House. — First room. A 

passage with curtains on either side. Beyond^ on the 

right are the men^ on the left are the women. 

Jas. Much good it does to wash a fellow if they 
daub him up like this afterwards. I am all full of 
the greasy stuff. 

Roh. Look at me, I am dripping with it like a sar- 
dine. I never want to eat salad any more as long as 
I live. 

Attendant. Here is the sacred garmint. 

Jcz. The what ? 

Roh. The sacred garment of infancy. They are 
an exact grown-up edition of my night-drawers in 
boyhood's early days. 

Att. This garment shouldn't never be took off. 

Jas. What? 

Att. It mustn't never be took off as long as you live. 

Jas. Wliy not? 

Att. 'Cause as long as you wears this garmint you 
won't die — nobody can't kill you. 



88 EVELYN GRAY; OH, 

Rob. Why man, the shirt would kill j^oii at last. 

Att, No 'twon't, the Prophet, Joe Smith got a reve- 
lation from God. 

Bob. Why did he get killed in Hancock county 
jail? 

Att. 'Cause he didn't have it on. There ! 

Hob. As a prophet he ought to have known better. 
But I suppose getting shot is preferable to being 
murdered by such a Centaur Ness us kirtle, the gods 
forefend ! 

Att. The gods come on in the next room. 

Hob. Is that so ? Olympus adjoining the bath tub, 
cleanliness next to godliness. But you ought not 
tell us yet. It will spoil the fun of the play. 

Att. I know it's agiiist the rules. 

Jas. Well, let us go in. 

Att. Hold up, you ain't done dressed yet. Here's 
your temple robe. 

Hob. All right, on with it. Ah, isn't she an angelic 
beauty, Jim? 

Jas. Yes, we are beginning to have quite a celes- 
tial appearance. 

Att. Brother Briggum, he do call it celestial 
masonry. Here's your cap, sir. 

Hob. Well, the\" do look like mason's caps exactly. 

Att. And here's your slippers. 

Hob. 1 begin to feel as if I were behig transformed 
into tlie fair sex. Say, Jim, if Evelyn doesn't forget 
all her grief and gravity at the sight of you, there's 
not a bit of humor in her. Please don't get in front 
of me, for pity's sake. I can't hold iii mucli longer. 

Female Attendant from the other side. Brother 
Hezekiah, ain't you got your men ready yit? 



THE VICTIMS OF QUE WESTERN TURKS. 89 

Male Att, Yes, Sister Keziah, in a minute. Hurry 
up now here, you fellurs. 

Fern, Att, Wot air you 'bout agin, a chapperin' 
like a monkey, with your big mouth? Don't you 
know we got heaps to do yit ter-day, all them han' 
carters to go through, 'sides a big ketch o' gals from 
the theayter arter w'ile, an' you standin' there a 
blabberin an' a blabberin' like as you was a preachin' 
in the tabbynuckle, an' Satan hav' done got his tights 
on' a hour ago an' slashin' an' cussin' roun' over here 
in the closet, 'cause he can't git out, an' all the 
women mos' skeered to deaf. 

Male Att. O, let Satan go to the devil. 

Roh. Who is Satan? 

M. Att. O, that there ole dead beat, John Lee, I 
reckon. He's owin' me three dollars sence two years. 
Wish I ked keep him in that closet a month. 

Fern. Att. Blabberin' again, ole parry ut ! ain't you 
goin' to git ready this year ? 

M. Att. Yes, durn it. Can't you let a feller alone. 
Hurry up here, fellers. Hev you got all the women 
ready ? 

Fern. Att. In course I has. All slick as a eel, an' 
stannin' in a row like a shop full o' wax dolls, long 
ago. 

M. Att. Waal, I reckon you didn't wash 'em clean 
or soraethin.' 

Fern. Att. Did so, you ole mule, cleaner'n yourn 
anyway. Shame on you ! — 

M. Att. Ur the wimmin is heaps handier nur the 
men ' bout gittin' into their things. They is more 
like wimmin's cloze anyway. Here's a fellur as 
wants to put the legs ov his sacrid garmint on his 



90 EVELYN GBAT; OB, 

arms, an' a Irishman we've got over here as was a 
dancin' in it, an' now he's gone off to sleep without his 
temple robe on, an' I'm afraid to wake him up 'cause 
he swears like a Californy teamster, an' says hell 
make me look seven ways to wonst. 

Biddy. That's me ole man Larry. Let me go 
over, sister, an' it's me that'll have 'im awake mighty 
quick. 

M. Att So now, gents, fall in ranks. Single file, 
Injun style. Hyur's the way to Paradise. You'll 
find the ladies inside. Don't be afeared, it's jess like 
a ball. You bows to yer lady, an' takes her fur yer 
pardner. 

Rol. Well, that is Paradise indeed. 

M. Att. An' fur the rest, jess look at Adam an 
Eve an' do the way they does, an' you ain't goin' to 
make no mistake. 

Fern. Att. Hezekiah Green, air you rattlin' your 
everlastin' big mouf agin ? 

M. Att. Yes, yes. Sister Keziah, all right. Here 
they come. Hurry up here, fellurs. [Uxeunt. 

Second Room. Paradise. RoB. Jas. Laery, 
men and male attendants ranged in a row on one side. 
Eva., Biddy, tvomen and female attendants vis-a-vis. 

Biddy. Och, Miss Evelyn, darlint, does ye see Mis- 
ther James ? He looks like a young praste wid a 
mustache. 

Uve. Yes, I see ! Don't talk aloud, Biddy. 

Biddy. Be me sannies, an' there is Larry. Will 
ye be afther puttin' yer ca on straight, ye shin- 
gaun! 

Boh, You needn't glare at Evelyn so, Jim. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 91 

Don't you see she can't trust herself to look at 
u? 
Jas, Hush, see who comes here. 



you? 



Unter Bkigham Young as Eloliim or Head Grod, 
Heber C. Kimball as Jehovah or Under Crod 
and Dan^l II. Wells as Jesus. 

M. Att. Them is the gods, 'ot sure enough, jess 
actin' ye know. 

Roh. O, yes, sweet hidies, the lion is not a horrible 
real lion but only Bottom, the Weaver. 

Young. " We gaze upon all we have created and 
behold it is very good." 

Biddy. Agra, me mon, ye didn't create Miss Eve- 
lyn Gray, so ye needn't be after glowerin' on her 
that way. 

Eva. Hush, Biddy. 

Y. " There is something wanting yet, man, that 
our work shall be perfect." 

Roh. Yes, man, there is much wanting thereto. 

Y. ''Let us make man in our image, after our 
likeness." 

K. All right. 

Wells. O, yes, let's. 

Roh. No, thank you, I'd rather not. Say, cice- 
rone Hezekiah, who is that assenting deity with the 
whiskers ? 

M. Att. Wot? That's Heber Kimball. He's the 
under-god, Jehover, ye know. He's a ole sucker, I 
kin tell ye. Got thirteen wives, and lams 'em like 
the dickens. 

Jas. Does this woodchopper prophet actually 



92 EVEYLN GRAY; OR, 

think that Elohim and Jehovah are two different 
gods ? 

Bob. It seems so. We will learn some theology 
here. 

Enter JoHisr C. Haight, as Michael or Adam, 

M. Att Here's the feller wot plays Michael an' 
Adam. 

Rob. Is the man's name Michael Adam or Adam 
Michael ? 

M. Att. No, don't you see Adam is the man an' 
Michael is the angel. 

Hob. Well, which being does this scared looking 
actor represent ? 

M. Att. O, both on 'em, don't ye know? 

Itob. No, is that so ? Another marvel of Mormon 
mythology. He'll have his hands full, though, poor 
prodigy. 

Y. " Behold the man ! " 

Rob. A slight resemblance to our unhappy species 
cant be denied, although the angelic greatly overtops 
it. 

Y. " We have made him of the clay of the earth 
after our image and likeness." 

Rob. The likeness is well hit, the same beastly leer. 

Jas. And a good deal of the parent clay adheres 
to his unwashed face. 

Rob. Yes, and he seems to have moistened his clay 
recently. 

Y. '' We place thee over the fish of the sea, the 
fowl of the air and the beast of the field. Rule over 
them. Eat of the fruit of all the trees in the gardeur" 

Haight. All right. Brother Brigham, 

T. [aside] Shut up, you fool ! 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 93 

3L Att The feller as gen'ly plays Adam ain't here 
to-day, an' Haight is green to the biz. 

r/'^But Michael ! Michael !" 

Haight, Who is he hollerin'for? I ain't Michael, 
am I ? No, I know I ain't. I am Adam. 

Y. [aside.] Shnt up, confound you. "Michael!" 

Larry. Avick thin, Fader, if its Michael McAf- 
ferty, the dacint man, ye mane, he's back in owld 
Ireland yit. But if any of yer riverences wants him 
particular, here's his frind, Larry Mahone, as good a 
man as him any day. So come on Avid ye. 

Roh, This promises to be very dramatic. 

Y, [aside] For lieaven's sake, Heber, who is this 
dreadful Irishman. 

Larry. Would wan o' yer riverinces loike to 
thramp on me coat-tail? 

Y. No, no, no ! '' Of every tree of the garden thou 
mayst freely eat, but of the tree of the knowledge of 
good and evil thou shalt not eat." 

Larry. Divil I shant! Sorra bit, I'll be afther 
axin ye, blast yer imperence. 

Biddy. Larry ! \_Shalci71g her fist at him.'] 
\^An evergreen tree with raisins tied on it is brought 
in.~\ 

Haight. Now I know I was right, I'm Adam and 
nobody else. Here's the tree. Let me see, what 
comes next ? O, yes. '' I'm so lonely ! " 

Y. " It is not good for man to be alone. I will 
make a helpmeet for him." [Aside] Lie dawn, you 
jackass ! 

M. Att. He'll feel mighty lonely after a while, when 
Brother Brigham sends him fly in' back to Cedar City. 
[Haight lies down and pretends to fall asleep. 

Young takes a rib from HaigMs coat pockeU 



94 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

Enter Miss Eliza Snow as Eve. 

HaighL [Wsm^] '^ Art thou not flesh of my flesh 
and bone of my bone ? " 

Mob. \_aside'] The bone rather preponderates, old 
fellow. 

Haight. " I will call her Eve, because she is newly 
and wondrously made." 

Jas. [aside'] Rather an ancient-looking dame for a 
newly-made creature. 

Bob. [aside] But wondrous enough. Who is the 
lady, Brother Hezekiah ? 

M.Att. [aside] Oh, that's Miss 'Liza, 'Liza Snow — 
one o' Brother Brigham's spiritual wives. She do 
write the songs we sing in the Tabbernuckle. She's 
powerful handy at writin'. 

Y. " Increase and multiply and fill the earth." 

Bob. [aside] Now he's getting into the Mormon's 
proper field. [Exeunt Young, Kimball and Wells. 
Shades of Moses and Milton, ye have lived in bliss 
till now ! 

M. Att. Now, you've got to pair off in couples an' 
promenade aroun' till the Devil comes in. 
Haight and Miss Snow passing over the front of 

tJie scene. 

Miss Snow. Brother Brigham is awfully mad at 
your mistakes. 

H. I can't help it. What the devil does he make 
me come here and play this durned tomfoolery fer ? 
And then putting two men into one. I never heard 
of such acting. 

Miss Snow. What is the matter with Staines ? 

II. Took a new wife last night and hadn't got over 
his wedding spree this morning. [Theg pass on. 

[James and Evelyn pass on. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 95 

Jas. Darling, it is really a bit of Paradise even 
amid these buffoons to be by your side again. You 
look bewitching even in this sepulchral costume. 

Uve. O, James, but you ! 

Jas. Sweetest, I would put on a coxcomb and a 
Merry Andrew's gear only to have you smile again. 

Uve, Ah, if only the dreadful farce were over. 

[They pass on. 
[Biddy and Larry pass. 

Biddy. It's a foine hobble ye'll be gittin' us in wid 
givin' yer blarney to the Prophit. 

Larry. What, is that bosthoon wid the big beard, - 
the Prophit ? Death alive, what a bodagh, a beggarly 
half-sir ! He the Prophit, the thafe ? This is a 
foine bargin wid us all. He looks loike a strate 
scraper's boss entoirely. 

Biddy. Shadh, ye drunken gorsoon ! Have ye no 
gumption to be jabberin' that gait here ? It'll be the 
murtherin' of us all, it will. Kape shtill now, I say, 
an' put yer caubeen straight on yer pate. Whisht, 
here cums the Divil ! 

Lai^ry. The divil he is. Let him cum on. 
Enter John D. Lee as Satan, sidles up to Uve, smiles 

and bows. 

Bob. [^aside] Sure enough, our old Castle Garden 
friend. He will be better up to his r61e than the 
man-angel was. 

Jas. [^asidel Yes, it comes more natural to him. 

Lee. '^ Yea, hath God said, ye shall not eat of 
every tree in the Garden ? " 

Bob. ^aside^ Ah, the coy and maidenly reserve of 
our common mother. 

Lee. " Ye shall be as gods." 



96 EVELYN GEAY; OR, 

Roh, [^aside] Not much of an inducement, my dear 
fellow. Trot out some other bait. 

Jas. [aside] No, she has done it already. 

Roh. [aside'] Done what ? 

Jas, [aside] Eaten some of the raisins. 

Roh. Ah, not such a bad idea of the prophetic 
poet to substitute raisins for the traditional apple. 
They appeal more endearingly to the sweet tooth of 
the ladies. 

Miss Snow to Haight. " Ah, loved husband mine, 
wilt thou not also eat thereof ? " 

Roh. [aside] Rather ardent words to come from the 
virgin Snow. 

Miss S. " Wilt thou ? " 

Roh. [aside] Beneath such a burning glance who 
would not wilt? 

jff. " All right, hand 'em here. [Uats some rais- 
ins.] 

Jas. [aside] A sensible sinner. Makes no fuss 
about it. 

Roh. [aside] No, but you should have seen him, if 
the fruit were in a liquid form. 

M. Att. Now, that thar's the Fall, ye know. 
Now ye're all nakid. 

Biddy. It's a lyin' ye are, ye ondacint spalpeen. 
Isn't it a whole pack o' peddler's kirtles I's got on 
me back ? 

M. Att. Course I know, ole gal. Now here comes 
the gods agin, an' brother Brigum's mad as the ole 
Sam, so you'd better hurry up. Here's your fig 
leafs, tie 'em aroun' you an' then skedaddle behin' a 
cheer or suthin.' [ Distributes aprons which they 
tie on.] 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. QJ 

Roh. Don't we get any of the dessert, brother 
Hezekiah? 

M. Att, Nary a raisin — Quick now an' hide yere- 
selves. 

Re-enter YouxG, Kimball and Wells. 
Young. " Adam, where art thou ? " 

Haight to Miss jS, Say, does he mean me this time ? 

Miss So Certainly. 

S. Durn it, why dont he holler one name then ? 
T, Adam, where art thou ? 

M " Here, Brother Brigham.'' 

Y, [aside] Chucklehead ? " What hast thou done ? " 

jr. O, eat a few raisins. 

Y. Yon mulehead ! [Aside] " Did I not tell thee 
not to eat thereof." 

IT. to Miss S. What the deuce comes next ? For 
pity's sake tell me. 

3Iiss S. Don't you know? ''The woman, the 
woman thou gavest me." 

IT. " The woman thou gavest me." 

Miss S. " Gave me thereof and I ate." 

JS. '' The woman thou gavest me, thereof I ate." 

Rob. [aside'] Well, I wish you joy of your repast. 
You will need no more punishment. 

Y. [aside] I wish the devil would eat you, you 
blundering fool. [To Mrs. Snow.] " What hast thou 
done ? " 

Miss S. " The serpent beguiled me, and I ate." 

[John D. Lee creeps up to Young on his bell}/.] 

Y '' Because thou hast done this, thou art accursed 
above all the cattle. Upon thy belly shalt thou go, 
and dust shall thou eat all the days of thy life. And 
1 will put enmity between thee and the woman, 

- 7 



98 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

between thy seed and her seed ; it shall bruise thy 
liead, and thou shalt bruise his heel." 

Jas. laside'} My heel itches to do some of that 
bruising now. [^Exeunt Lee and Haight.] 

M. Att. Thar goes Haight without waitin' for his 
curses. But he'll git 'em double arter a while. 

\_Uxeunt ally driven out by YoUNG. 

Third Room^ The World. — The former persons. 

Enter Mormon Apostles disguised as Sectaries. Tim- 
othy Broadbrim, a Quaker ; Deacon Smith, a 
Methodist; Parson Peabody, a Presbyterian; 
Elder Smoothtongue, a Baptist ; Father 
Boniface, a Catholic. 

Father Boniface : 

The Pope, the Pope, the Virgin, too, 
We have the only doctrine true. 
Come heretics to the mother church, 
Or you'll be left in an ugly lurch. 
The door of heaven against you slammed 
In hell you'll be forever damned. 

Eld. Smoothtongue : 

The chief thing of all is poorest prized. 
You are not saved till you're baptized— 
No baby sprinkling or such child's play, 
But the genuine apostolic way — 
Deep under the water you get plunged down. 
And when you come up your sins are gone. 

Deacon Smith: 

No, no, he's wrong; but you must come all 
And down at the anxious bench you fall; 
There on your knees you must groan and cry 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 99 

Till you move to mercy the Lord on high. 
Then from your hearts will roll the lump, 
Converted and sanctified up you jump. 

Parson Peabody : 

What good will all your hollering do, 

If you are not predestinated thereto ? 

You're dead in sin and quite depraved ; ^ 

By elective grace alone you're saved. 

You can fast and pray, work early and late, 

You are and will be reprobate. 

Timothy Broadbrim : 

The church is worldly, lost and vain ; 
Thee must no longer in her remain ; 
Thee must leave wars and oaths and that, 
And wear a broad-brimmed Quaker hat . 
Thee must not sing or preach or pray 
Till the Spirit moves thee aught to say. 

Enter Jno. D. Lee as Satan. Speaks the following 
with boorish grimaces : 

" Ah, that's right my hearties, you are at 'em, as I 
told you. Only you ouglit to work harder, a soul is 
worth sweatin' fur, ye know. Ha, he kicked me out 
of heaven like a beggar, an' thro wed a mountain after 
me like a boot-jack after a tom-cat. But I got even 
with him in his nice Paradise; I settled that proud, 
long-legged man fur him an' got him out o' paradise, 
an' God's image mighty quick. Ha, ha ! Ez long 
ez there's wimmin in the world the devil don't need 
to give up. But now he's got the true religion in 
the world, this blamed Mormonism. I'm afeared 
o' that. I had it all my own way with them other 



100 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

sects. The only way is to put on these rantin', can- 
tin' scamps to muddle the poor people so with error 
an' confusion that they ain't fit to hear the truth 
when the Mormon apostles come. Now, then, 
my hearties, go for 'em, git at 'em, hot and heavy. 
[Enter Apostles: Peter (Okson Pkatt), James 

(George Q. Cannon) John (John Taylor). 
O, hell, there they come already ! 

Roh, [aside^ Ha ! a lively companionable Satan, 
not like the sardonic, highstrung gentleman of 
Goethe's " Faust." 

Gr. Q. Cannon. 

*' Away, away, thou evil one, 
Destroyer of the soul of man." 

Lee. 0,0,0! Fire and brimstone, all I'll get 
now. No more souls fur me to eat. O, hell ! 

Larry. Musha, it's me that'll give ye the lift to 

git there. [Kicking him']. [Exit Lee. 

Gr. Q. Cannon. 

♦* Away with ye, his minions base, 

Deceivers of the human race ; 

Ye have mislead them, but too long, 

To blindness, error, sin and wrong. 

Your reign of darkness now is done ; 

Follow your father, hence begone ! 

[Exeunt Sectaries.'] 
John Taylor. 

We bring salvation unto you, 

The heavenly gospel, new and true, 

Which from the Lord above did fall. 

And the book of Mormon we do call. 

Come all ye sinners, without delay. 

To the church of the Saints of the Latter Day. 

Forsake your sects and you'll be blest, 

Flee unto Zion and you'll get rest. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 101 

Orson Pratt. 

The Lord hath thundered his awful word, 

The Lord hath unsheathed his two-edged sword. 

The day of wrath is nigh at hand 

When blood and woe will fill the land. 

Who will not heed his prophet's call, 

By the hand of his angels shall quickly fall. 

His priests they shall reign, but the Gentiles shall die, 

And in hell in torment forever lie. 

Enter Heber C. Kimball. 

Rol. [aside] Here comes the bald-headed sub-god 
again. Don't Brother Brigham come back any more ? 

Jas. [aside] I suppose he's gone out to get a 
cocktail. 

M. Att. [aside] No, indeed, he don't drink none 
o' your pepper-sass mixins. Brother Brigham takes 
his whiskey straight. 

Roh. [aside] Listen to the deputy. 

Kimball. You have now, O ye pilgrims to Zion, 
penetrated so far in your search for truth and light 
into the mysteries and revelations of the new kingdom 
of God. You have witnessed the mystic representa- 
tion of the creation, the fall, and the redemption. 
You have reached the sacred order of the Priesthood 
of Aaron. Now before you pass into the next divis- 
ion of the Temple to the sacred order of the Priest- 
hood of Melchisedek, and thence, through the veil 
into the innermost Holy Place, you will first receive 
the secret signs, grips and pass-words by which you 
are to recognize each other, and be distinguished 
from the world, and then you will take your oaths 
and vows as saints. Do not be shocked at them. 
Remember you are now to be regenerated by 



102 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

the Holy Spirit. The past must be forgotten. Your 
old views and ideas must be completely blotted out. 
You are new beings. You now enter into the glori- 
ous liberty of the children of God. You are hence- 
forth spiritual. The old superstition and morality 
do not affect you any more. What might seem sin 
to you is such no longer. You cannot sin, as long as 
you are obedient to the prophet of the Lord. You 
will later be initiated into the glorious mystery of 
Celestial Marriage and the sweet revelations of God's 
chosen people. Ye women meekly submit to all, for 
it is impossible that you can be saved except through 
man. Remember also that we are the new Israel of 
the Lord, that as such we are destined to rule over 
the world. No government, no people, no authority 
may stand over us, but, on tlie contrary, we are com- 
missioned from on high to conquer and exterminate 
all the wicked Gentiles of this land who do not submit 
just as Israel did the Canaanites of old. Therefore, 
whoever does not take up his sword at the command 
of the Prophet against our foes, shall perish as a traitor 
You will now hear the oaths as well as the penalties 
following upon their violation, and then you shall 
come forth, and kneeling, swear. 

Mob. [^aside'] Do you smell the fumes of sulphur 
now, Jim ? 

Jas. [^aside'] Yes, and we are in for it. Darling, 
why do you shudder ? Do you feel ill ? 

Uve. l^aside"] It is nothing. 

G, Q, Oannon \reads.'] '^1. Do you swear, forever 
and inviolably, to keep secret the mysteries and cere- 
monies and sacraments of the Endowment House and 
all the revelations, discoveries and transactions in the 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS, 103 

church, designedly or accidentally brought to your 
knowledge ? 

" 2. Do you swear implicitly to obey your husbands 
and never to oppose their will in any matter, what 
soever ? 

'' 3. Do you swear at all times to subject yourselves 
absolutely to the will and command of the Holy 
Priesthood, and implicitly carry out all their behests ? 

"4. Do you swear to revenge the death of our mar- 
tyred prophet Joseph Smith, on his devilish murderers, 
and upon all Gentiles ^vhom the Holy Priesthood 
may point out? 

''5. Do you swear eternal and undying enmity 
against the Government of the United States, and 
promise to do all in your power to subvert and de- 
stroy it ? 

'' 6. Do you swear to teach your children and chil- 
drens' children these solemn and sacred oaths, and 
bring them up as faithful and implacable enemies to 
the Gentiles and the United States?" 

Bob. [aside'] The Saints' Congressman ! 

Jas. [aside] Yes. 

Cannon. These are the penalties : 

" Upon any one who violates Rnj or either of these 
oaths, the following punishment shall be executed : 

'' He or she shall be pursued, waylaid, or delivered 
up. He shall be tortured day and night. His bowels 
shall be torn out while living. His throat shall be 
cut from ear to ear. His heart and tongue shall be 
cut out. He shall die accursed of the Prophet of the 
Lord. He shall be thrown out to be eaten by dogs 
and the birds of he^^ven, He shall go down among 



104 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

the damned and .the devils of hell, into everlasting 
torment and damnation." 

Roh, l^aside^ How do your bowels feel, Jim? 

Jas. \^aside\ A good deal moved, but not in fear. 

Roh. \_aside\ Now comes the climax. See, one of 
the Danes is swearing now. 

Jas. \_aside\ I will swear too, but not as they expect. 
I would give a thousand dollars for my six-shooters 
now. 

Roh, l^oiside] Never mind. You and Biddy get 
Evelyn away when the moment arrives. Larry 
and I are good for a half-dozen of these maudlin 
apostles. Keep cool and wait. 

[EvELYN/am^s.] 

Biddy, O, Miss Evelyn, achora ! Bad scran to 
them, they have murdhered her, avhellish ! 

Jas, [Taking her ^^p.] Lead the way out, Biddy 
Clear the road there ! 

Cannon. Hold, take the lady back into the Holy 
Place. 

Rob. Will the Hon. gentleman from Utah suspend ? 
The lady has had enough holiness for to-day, and 
needs some fresh air. 

K. Never ! Any one that leaves this house with- 
out swearing is a dead man. 

Jas, I swear that anybody who stops my way is a 
dead man! 

K, [^To attendant.'] Head him off there. 

Att, Nary time. The Irishman is watchin' o' me. 

Cannon. You coward. \_Stands before the door]. 
Now, let anyone dare to pass. 

Rob. Now, Larry, you remove the congressional 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 105 

apostle, while I polish the bald head of the deputy 
god. 

Larry. Wid all my heart. Here's fur ye, ma 
bouchal, wid me compliments. \_Knocks Cannon 
dotvn. Rob knocks Kimball down.'] 

Rob. Ah, another mystic representation of the 
" Fall." [Uxeunt Jas., Eve, Rob., Larry, and 

Biddy, with Evelyn.] 



106 EVELYN GEAY; OB, 



ACT III. 

SCENE 1.— Private Office in Brigham Young's house 

Brigham Young. 

Unter " Bill " Hickman. 

R, Hello, Brigham. 

Y. Hello, Bill. Lock the door after you. 

II. Wot's up now, ole pard. 

Y. Sit do\yn, and I'll tell you. Here, take a glass. 
\_Pours out some whiskey'] The boys have made a 
bad job, putting a man out of the way. Id the first 
place they went about it sooner than I told them to. 
I wanted 'em to wait a week or so until the Gentile 
army was out of the way. And then they all got 
drunk and just bruised the fellow up. He got away 
from them at the point of the mountain, came back 
to the city, and is telling the w^hole story, which is 
making a bad stink. 

H. Who is the feller? 

Y. That man Back, one of the fellows that came 
from Sacramento with John Aiken. 

jr. O, won o' them two wot stayed here, while 
Aiken an' the others was gittin' used up at Nephi? 

Y. Yes. The other one they got dead drunk, so 
they didn't have much bother keeling him over. But 
Back smelled a rat, and just let on he was full, and 
when the other man fell, he jumped out of the wagon, 
ran for the Jordan and swam across, and came up here. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 107 

He was mighty anxious to get into Canaan, you 
know. 

IT. You bet. Wasn't that some o' Port RockweU's 
work agen ? 

r. Yes. 

IT, I knowed it. He can't ketch a hold o' nothin* 
without botchin' it. Look how he fooled around 
that x\iken party. The idea o' leavin' one party run 
away and an' other only half dead. Phew ! it's a 
damned shame, and had 'em all asleep afore him. 
Why, my little boy could 'a done belter 'n that. I 
tell you wot, Brigham Young, Port Rockwell, is a 
darned humbug anyway. But you won't listen to 
me, of course. 

Y. Yes, I will. Bill. 

S. Well, why the hell are you always pushin' him 
for'ard fur, the long-haired bully? Jist 'cause he 
wuz big with Jo Smith in Nauvoo, an* Jo told him he 
wouldn't die as long as he'd wear his hair long — he's 
got a mane on him as long as a mustang or an' Injua 
buck an' about as lousy too. 

Y. Well, Bill, he'll do for easy jobs. I won't trust 
him with important work any more. Here, take an- 
other glass of whiskey. I want you to take this case 
in hand now. Back has to be used up and mighty 
quick too. He's blabbing about Aiken's killing, and 
even some of our own people are getting worked up 
about it, and say that the whole party was good inno- 
cent men. When we once get the Gentiles out of 
the Territory, we can shut up their mouths, but 
now it's langerous. If Judge Letcher, damn him, 
should get wind of it, there's no telling what he'll do. 
Call back the Army perhaps. So he has to be used 



108 EVEL FJV GRA Y ; OB, 

up, and I want you to do it. This is election day, 
you know, and we can easily make believe that he was 
killed in some election fight. 

H, O, yes, when other fellers, as are made heaps 
on, botch a job, then Bill Hickman is good enough to 
fix up their bunglin', an' when he's done he kin' go an' 
don't get no thanks. 

Y. Don't be a fool, Bill. You want to be coaxed, 
I suppose. 

^. No, I don't, but I want to know that I ain't 
workin' fur nothin'. 

Y. Who wants you to? You shall have half of 
all the plunder. No dickering or bickering, clean 
halves this time, Bill. 

H, That's wot you said often, but 1 never seed 
the right dividin'. 

Y. Shame on you, Bill ! Do you think I am going 
to cheat you ? 

H. Don't know, bein' as I ain't no Prophit. I 
suppose the feller ain't got nothin'. 

Y, They say he has got plenty of cash, besides a 
fine California watch and I'll give you half of Aiken's 
pile and that was $900, you know. I'd give you all, 
but Port wanted some, and he's just as big a Jew as 
you. 

H. You are the biggest by a blamed sight. You 
want to keep it all. 

Y. Of course, I try and save as much as possible 
for the Church. 

H, Oh, the Church be damned ! Don't come that 
old dodge over me, I know where it goes to. 

Y. You don't know anything about it. I am only 
the head of the Church. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 109 

H. Yes, and the belly, too. 

Y. Get out, you old scamp. Here take some more 
whiskey. How are you going to set about this 
business ? 

H. Well, I know a feller that is a old chum o' 
this here Back, as lives about ten miles from town. 
I'll jist go an' git him to take Back out to his house in a 
wagon. I believe he's in town to-day. Shall I give 
him your orders, in case he don't mind me? 

Y. Of course/ 

E. Me an' Meacham '11 stop' em on the way in a 
shady place, an' I guess Mr. Back won't come back 
to Salt Lake any more. 

Y. Splendid plan. Much better than using him 
up in town. Be sure of him, Bill. 

H. Don't be afeared. When I draw my bead on 
him, tain't no bunglin' Port Rockwell yowkin' aroun'. 
Jess you be sure o' your part, old skinner. 

Y. I will. Hurry up. Good-bye. 

JST. Won't you gimme your blessin', holy man o' 
God? 

r. Get out, you rascal. [^xit Hickman. 

Ugh, I hate the sight and smell of the brute. But 
I can't do without him And the dog is getting so 
beastly familiar, I can hardly stand it any longer, and 
still I have to put up with him because he has the 
chalk against me in too many past games. As soon 
as I've got old Letcher out of the way, I must see if 
I can't get rid of the vile creature. 

Unter KiMBALL and Cannoist. 
Good heavens what has happened to you two ? 

Cannon. Got mauled, that's all. 
Y. That's all, is it? I should think that's 



110 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

enough. A nice appearance for two dignitaries of 
the church to be in wlien they come before their 
Prophet and a nice business to be engaged in, get- 
ting drunk and mixing in an election brawl or a 
common street fight, like a pair of rowdy teamsters. 

Camion. It's no such thing. We didn't get tiiis in 
a street fight. 

Y. Where then? 

(7. In the Endowment House. 

Y. In the Endowment House ? From whom ? 

C. I got my black eyes from that wild Irishman, 
damn him ! 

K. And I got my big head from that fine young 
newspaper fellow. 

Y, Why, how dil this happen ? Tell me, Heber. 

K. O, it was in the ''world" just before swearing 
them in. Brother George had just finislied reading the 
oaths when that girl they are all making such a fuss 
about, Miss Gray, I believe they call her, fainted dead 
away. The other young fellow, who seems to be her 
lover, picked her up and was going to carr}^ her out- 
side. George and I forbid them and told him to take 
her into the Holy of the Holies, but before we could 
look around we were rolling on the floor and the whole 
paity was gone. 

C. I didn't know anything of myself but thought 
I was going to heaven sure, 'cause I saw the stars fly- 
ing thick all around me. 

K. But T, I was knocked clean into Paradise. Why 
a green mule couldn't ha' kicked me harder than that 
fellow hit me. 

Y. Served you right. 

C. What! 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. HI 

Y. Yes, it served you both right. I'll bet my life 
on it you frightened the young lady into fainting. If 
I had been there I would have kicked you both for it, 
confound you I 

K, No, we didn't. Brother Brigham. 

y. I know better. I am sure you did with your 
damned preaching and bullying. I'll wager you let 
the cat out of the bag too much. Do you think a 
true lady like that can stand your coarse Mormon 
stuff, like ordinary, ignorant clodhoppers ? You don't 
know how to treat people of intelligence and refine- 
ment. And Cannon here, his ugly face, when he reads 
those terrible oaths is enough to scare a lady of taste 
and sensibility into fits. That's the way you chuckle- 
heads always spoil my plans wdth your clumsiness. 
There you have gone and disgusted her and turned 
her heart away from Mormonisra and me, and now 
you have the impudence to come here and show me 
your stupid, battered-up heads. Confound you, what 
do you want here, anyhow? 

K, Why — we came to see what it would please 
you to do in this matter ; what would you do with 
these traitors. 

y. Traitors I— Where's the treason ? Maybe I'll 
go and thank them for the handsome drubbing they 
gave you. 

(7. Well, you can do that if it pleases you, but what 
will you do about their leaving the Endowment House 
without swearing! 

Y, I have no doubt you did enough swearing since. 

C. You are right, and I will not stop at swearing, 
when I get my chance, I can tell you. 

Y. Indeed! what else will you do? Get them 



112 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

in to a corner and talk tliem to deatli? That's the 
way you Congressmen kill people, I suppose. 

C. The Mormons have other ways of killing people. 

Y. I may have, if that's what you mean. But as 
for you, I warn you to attend to your own business. 
I warn you not to touch a hair of their heads, do you 
understand me ? 

K. But, brother Brigham, you surely don't mean 
to let them escape with the knowledge of our oaths 
and Endowment mysteries. Such a thing has never 
happened before. 

Y. I will see to it that they don't escape, if they 
have any such intention. 

C. Anybody can see they have. They don't in- 
tend to join the Church, not they, the proud Gen- 
tiles. If you had seen them with their mocking 
smiles and laughing whispers during that acting you 
would think so, too. 

Y. I think anybody of sense must have laughed at 
that acting with such an ass as that Haight in it. 

(7. I know they 'are spies and renegades. I know 
Miss Evelyn is disgusted with us. She wants to 
leave my house to-day. 

Y. No wonder — Let them leave. I will provide 
them with other lodgings. I will send to her. I 
want you to treat her with as much respect as you 
would treat me. Do you understand ? Keep your 
horrid-looking phiz out of her sight. A beautiful 
spectacle you are, truly. Why you have all the colors 
of the American flag painted in your face, you traitor. 
Ha, ha, ha ! T don't want you to be missing at the 
Tabernacle on Sunday, nor you, Heber, with your 
swollen head. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTElih' TURKS. 113 

K Oh, Brother Brigham ! 

Y. Not a bit of it. Not a word. Get out with 
you. Ha, ha, ha ! \_Exeunt Kbiball and Cannox.] 
^Rings'] That shall be tlieir punishment for scar- 
ing her, the beautiful darling. 

Buter Tom, negi-o servant hoy. 
Here, you imp of Africa, go to Brother Cannon's 
house, and givQ Miss Evelyn my compliments and 
regrets at what happened in the Endowment House, 
and my wishes tliat she is feeling better, and in case 
they want to leave there, take thein to the cottage 
that Sister Van Cott used to occupy. Can you re- 
member it all, you monkey ? 

Tom. Yes, sah. ^;Exit Tom. 

Y. This thing is grist for my mill. Tiiat may 
fetch her. The cottage is a fearful hut. If they 
only don't leave they are in my power forever, and 
Evelyn will not go without her mother, and she, bless 
her blindness ! will never go. Then, away with tlie 
gallant lover, who carries her out in bis arms, the 
villain. No other arms but mine shall hold her. Ah, 
if she were but in tliem now. IKnocJcing wkhoutj 
Enter Lucy Rawdon] Hello, here is my decoy bird. 
Lucg. Good morning, Mr. Young. 
r. Good morning, my dear, how have you been? 
L. Pretty well, my dear, I thank you. 
Y. You are looking very well. Do you know, 
Lucy, you are a very good-looking woman ? 

L. Lideed ? I thank you for your plantation com- 
pliment, but I don't consider you at all fit to judge. 
Y. Why not, my dear ? 1 have traded enouglAn 
female flesh. 

L. Yes, that is just it. What should a beino- like 

8 * 



114 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

you know about beauty ? You don't see anything 
else in women but flesh. 

Y. Well, and what else are they ? 

L. There is one in your harem, Mr. Brigham Turk, 
w^ho has a little spirit. Ha, ha ! You are looking 
around, eh? Perhaps she is listening, so you had 
better not be so ready with your compliments. 
She might make jou feel that even a holy, celestial 
prophet has some flesh to attack. 

Y. I am not afraid. 

L. No, don't be*. I will not let her hurt the dear 
old man. Don't be afraid, dear old grandpa. 

Y. Oh, please don't get into that strain, I have a 
horror of a sarcastic woman. [^LocJcs the door,'\ 

L. And a terror of the spirited one ? 

Y. No, I have business of importance with you 
and I don't want anybody to hear us. 

L, Have you got a revelation that I must marry 
you? 

Z. No, no; can't you stop your everlasting tomfool- 
ery and listen to me ? 

L, All right. Go ahead, something very pious, 
no doubt. 

Y. Do you know Judge Letcher ? 

2/. I have seen him. 

y. He is a very bad man. 

L. In what respect ? 

Y. Morally bad. He is very impure* He is a 
bad man towards women. 

L. Well, what of it ? 

Y, I want to get him away from here. 

i. Why? 

Y. Why, because he is a bad man. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 115 

L. Ha, Iia, ha ! 

Y. What the devil are you laughing about ? 

L, About your saintly reasoning, ha, ha, ha! 
But I suppose a prophet need not go by reason, he 
goes by revelation. 

Y. What do you mean, you crazy baggage? 

L. It is just as if Satan would say to another devil 
in hell, — you are acquainted with them better than 
I — if he would say to — what do you call him — to 
Beelzebub: 'Here, Bub, 3^ou get out of here, you're 
a devil ! " If Judge Letcher is a bad man he couldn't 
have gotten into fitter company, and I suppose the 
President thought so when he sent him here. 

Y. You are very complimentary, but I am not go- 
ing to quarrel with you. This Letcher is a dangerous 
man. 

L. Tell the truth, old fellow. Don't you want him 
away because he's a righteous judge, because you can't 
bribe or bully him? 

Y. Well, I never object to being plain on mutual 
terms. That is the truth, my girl, if you want to 
know, and we must get rid of him. 

X. Go on, then, and do so. What do I care ?^ You 
have plenty of dirty ways to do it in. 

Y. I don't know of any usual one for him. 

L. What does it concern me ? 

Y. I want you to help me. 

L. Me ? By what means ? 

Y, By means of your beauty. 

L, Ah, that's the reason for the regimental flattery. 
Brigham Young does not bestow praises gratis. But 
how hath thy handmaid found favor in thy sight? 

Y. Will you mind me ? 



116 EVELYN QUAY; OR, 

L, Let me hear the plan of salvation. 

Y. I want you to get acquainted with him and work 
upon him by your fasciuations, so that he will be led 
on to make an improper proposal to you. This you 
must impart to me. Thereupon we will make such a 
hue and cry that he'll either run away or else marry 
you and join tlie Church. 

L. Beautiful! Perfect! Most devilishly perfect! 

r. Will you do it? 

L. I should think not. 

F. Why not? 

L. I have been very reckless and giddy. I have 
listened to men's falsehoods and flattery, and I have 
once sinned, but God knows it was out of true love 
for a worthless deceiver and bitterly repented after- 
wards, but never from a deliberate preference for sin. 

Y. I don't want you to sin. 

L. O God, that it should come to this ! Have I 
sunken so low that any king-beast can come along 
and offer to hire my charms as a trap or a drag net. 
O God! {Ories,-] 

Y, l^aside^ Let her have her crying out. Then 
she will come around. 

L. What have I done that you should dare to make 
such a proposal to me ? 

Y. You know what you are doing now. 

i. What? 

Y, Making a fool of yourself. 

L. O, yes, everybody who is not so hardened and 
wicked as you is a fool. 

Y, Now stop your crying and scolding and listen 
to me. What wrong do I ask you to do ? 



THE VICTiMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 117 

L. You want me to deliberately incite an evil 
passion in a man, and then heiv^dy him for utterino* 
it. 

Y. Bosh ! The evil passion is there alread3% and 
what other feeling does a pretty woman excite in a 
man ? 

L. In a Mormon man certainly no other. 
F. And as for betraying him, he is the enemy of 
your people, and their Elders say he must go. 

L. He is the official of ray countrj^ and the Presi- 
dent has sent him here. 

T. Which do you consider your people? 
L. The people of the United States, of course. 
Y. Then you have forgotten your Endowment 
oaths. 

L. I never heard them. I was nearly dying with 
laughter at your wooden acting. 

7. Well, you swore that you would hate all Gen- 
tiles and obey your Prophet in all things. 

i. If I swore any such thing I must have been 
foolish indeed. But I never would keep such an oath 
if the Prophet commanded a thousand times. 
Y, You had better take care. 

L, Indeed? O, yes; I did overhear something 
about butchering and disembowelling the unfaithful 
sheep. Do j^ou cook and eat them afterwards ? 
Peihaps you are hankering for a bite of me now. I 
would make a pretty juicy roast, wouldn't I ? Come, 
" unsheath your bowie knife," as you used to say in 
your Tabernacle sermons. 

Y, O, keepstilL A woman tongue is sliarper than 
a bowie knife. Come, let this bickering alone, Lucy. 
If you're such an enemy to sin and seducers, as you 



118 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

say? you ought to help to drive this fellow away, for 
he has ruined many girls. 

X. Has he ? Then he ought to be taken to the 
Mormon's heaven, for that is just what Jo Smith 
did; that is what you and your fellow-saints do now. 

Y. What ? We marry and exalt them ; we don't 
ruin them. 

L. A glorious exaltation it is, to become the con- 
cubines and Cinderellas of old drunken benedicts. 
Which is the more ruinous scoundrel, the one who 
brings a girl to fall and then lets her alone to reclaim 
herself, or the one who marries her with half a dozen 
others according to Mormon rite, which you know 
is not marriage either before God or the law, amuses 
himself with her awhile, and then casts her off to make 
her own living or starve for him all her life ? Of 
course, the one who uses his religion as a cloak for 
his villainy. O, such a monstrous religion ! 

Y. She has not the disgrace at any rate, and she 
can get a divorce. 

L. Yes, if her hoary, drivelling Pasha is done with 
her, and then only to be forced upon another many- 
wived Bluebeard, and so on till her degradation and 
defilement is complete. How do you know Judge 
Letcher is such a man ? 

Y. George Cannon told me so. He knew him in 
Washington. 

L. Then I don't believe it at all, for Mr. Cannon 
lies worse then all of you. 

Y. Do you mean to say that I lie too ? 

L, Most assuredly, holy Prophet. 

Y. Prove it. 

L. Gladly, In the matter of the theatre concern, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 119 

alone, I can count you up a whole string of fat fibs. 

Firstly, when you built the theatre or '^ fun hall, " as 
you elegantly called it, you told the people that, when 
it was done, they should all be admitted free, but after 
you got the people's money and built your funny 
''fun hall," you made them pay admission to the 
tune of fifty cents apiece. 

Secondly, when you funnily dedicated your funny 
" Fun Hall " you said with a great deal of brag and 
swagger that no Gentile actors should ever defile 
the sacred boards of the Saints' theatre, none but 
Mormon actors should play there ; but you have had 
all the unholy Gentile players, from Forrest and 
LeClere to Lydia Thompson and Dickie Lingard, and 
a fine Punch and Judy show you would have had 
without them. 

Thirdly, you stated then, too, that you would 
have no tragedies performed there — another fib — 
they play them all the time. 

Fourthly, you promised me a hundred dollars a 
week when I came, and you have only paid me three 
or four hundred in all. 

Y. Well, go on. 

i. No, I will not, or I will get a fifteenthly or 
twenty-seventhly, like the old ministers in their ser- 
mons. 

Y. You know I am above giving an account of 
myself to anyone. 

L. Ah, yes, you are the head god of the universe. 

Y. So let us come back to the business in hand. 
I dare you to try your arts on this virtuous judge. 
Come, try it. See whether we lie about him. 

L. I have a notion to try it, just to get up a little 



120 EVELYN GBAY; Oil, 

innocent flirtation, and show you that he's better than 
the whole rout of you. 

Y, Do, my dear, there's no harm in it. 

L. No harm in it ? You don't take into account 
the danger to my own virtue. 

Y. Ha, ha, ha ! That's a good one. Now you are 
getting funny. 

L. Ugh, you brute ! You self righteous Pharisee. 
I tell you there's not a low woman, a poor street- 
walker in Chicago or San Francisco, but is an angel 
beside you, Brigham Young. 

JT, Very well, very well, my dear. 

L, Yes, it is very well that your uncouth, ugly, 
saintly mask will be torn from your face, some day. 

Y, All right my angel, I hope you'll be there then. 
Are we done now ? 

L. Not quite. Since you are so business-like 
about it, I will be too. What am I going to get for 
my saintly job ? 

Y. Well, I don't know exactly. Do you want any- 
thing 

L. O, look at him ! ''A change comes o'er the 
spirit of his dream." Did you think I was going to 
do your dirty work for the glory of God and without 
any pay ? ^ 

Y, What do you want? 

L, Not the seventh or twelfth part of an ungainly 
Mormon spouse, I assure you. 

y. Why not? I thought of offering you the 
honor of marriage with one of my sons. 

L. Which one ? 

Y. Well, with Brigham Jr. for example. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. l2l 

L. No, I thank you. I haven't grown so bovine in 
my tastes, even out here, as to many a calf. 

r. You are very flattering, but whom would your 
Highness deign to take ? 

L. I want you to state how much in hard California 
gold you are going to-give me. 

Y. How much do I owe you? 

X. Three or four thousand. 

F. Impossible. But I'll look it up; I'll give you 
five thousand in all if you succeed. 

X. I don't believe you. You have promised to 
pay me a dozen times, and never kept your promise. 

r. I will this time. I have so many thousands to 
pay of which you have no idea, but I'll pay you this, 
if I have to borrow it. 

L. Whom should you borrow from? All Utah is 
your own. 

T, Do you want me to swear that I'll pay you ? 

L, No, no, then I might be sure of never getting it. 

T. What the devil do you want me to do ? 

L. Ah, now you are drifting into your inspired 
vein,— into your native elegance of speech. I want 
you to pay me at least one thousand dollars here and 
now. 

Y. O, you women will be my ruin yet ! 

X. I hope so, if there is any retribution. Will 
you fork over, sir? 

F. Here, you greedy one. [Fai/s her.] Now hurry 
up and get your toils ready for our big bird. 

L. IThrowing herself on a sofa.'] O, I am afraid I 
will not succeed. 

F. You bewitching little devil, you know you 
will. You would inflame the heart of a 



;1^22 EVELYN Gil AY; OB, 

L. Of a prophet? 

r. Yes, durn me, if I don't feel like marrying you 

myself. 

L. Too much honor, but I thank you. 
r. Won't you give me a kiss ? IKnoching with- 
out,'] 

[ Without,'] Open this door ! 
Y, Good heavens, that's Amelia! Now we'll 
have a nice time. 

L. Glorious ! Ha, ha, ha ! 

Y. opens the door. Enter AMELIA. 
Am, So I've caught you at it again? 
Y, At what ? 

Am, Ah, you filthy old sinner ! 
L, Don't be too hard on him. Sultana, he was only 
trying a little preliminary test rehearsal. There was 
no harm in it. 

A, You want to marry her, do you? 
L, Be not afraid, O Light of the Harem, there is 
no danger that I will take him. 

A. What have I to do with you Miss Brazenface ? 

L. Nothing indeed, Madam Termagant, I am 

thankful to say. Good-bye ; I will no longer intrude 

upon your loving matrimonial tete-a-tete, I think 

I may rely upon the power of my charms, and will 

" carry out your commands, my prophet. [^Exit,] 

A. What does she mean? 

Y, O, nothing, a little job she's going to attend 

to for me. 

A, 0,yes, a fine job, T dare say, to meet you some- 
where and be sealed to you. 

Y. Bosh, Amelia, don't believe any such thing. 

A. Yes, I do. I know you. You'll not rest till 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 123 

you have as many wives as that naked king in 
Africa ; three hundred, I believe. 

Y. Nonsense, my dear. 

A. Don't "my dear," you old hypocrite. You 
can't see a woman without lusting after her. Phew ! 
You'll marry anything that has the shape of a woman, 
if it should come from the pig-sty. 

T. I'm never going to marry another. 

A. Do you think you can make me believe that ? 
That's what you swore to me on your knees when 
you got me to marry you, and since then you took 
two more, that stack up widow. Van Cott, and that 
puny little Ann Eliza, who is young enough to be 
your grandchild, and how many more you've tackled 
on the sly, God only knows. 

Y. O, Amelia ! 

A. And now you've got the same game up with 
this loose theatre woman. 

Y. There's no game at all, I tell you. 

A. How dare you say so? Why did you lock 
yourself in with her, and talk about marrying her? 
And you couldn't even wait till you had her sealed 
to you. I saw it all. " Won't you give me a kiss ? " 
" Please give me a kiss." " I'm a poor old man, I've 
got only nineteen wives, O, I'm so hard up for a 
kiss." 

Y. O ! now, stop Amelia. 

A. When will you stop running after other women ? 

I^. I don't see why you should make such a fuss 
even if I should marry a few more. Our religion 
enjoins it upon us. 

A. Religion ! A nice way to call your doings — 
religion. Where does such a religion come from ? 



124 EVELYN GBAY; OR, 

Y. From Heaven, you know, in the Book of 
Mormon. 

A, Another lie. In the book of Mormon, polygamy 
is damned ten times over. 

F. Well, it was revealed to Jo. Smith afterwards. 

A. Shall I tell you what was revealed to him ? 

Y. What? 

A, A little too much of Miss Fannie's ankle or 
bosom, while she was staying at his house. That 
was the revelation he got. That's the divine origin 
of your beautiful religion, the dirty heart of an un- 
faithful, adulterous villain. Don't think you can 
humbug me. Religion don't make pigs of men. 

Y. Well I don't want to dispute about that now. 
Let s have no quarrel. 

A. What have you got on hand with this impudent 
actress ? 

Y. It's nothing at all, I tell you. 

A. I suppose not. What are you hanging over 
her for, making eyes at her like a calf, and kissing 
her? 

Y, I didn't kiss her. 

A, It isn't your fault if you didn't, you wanted to, 
badly enough. Aren't you ashamed to beg a kiss 
from such a woman and be refused? Believe I'll 
tell the people in the Tabernacle. It would be mighty 
edifying. 

Y. I don't care for the confounded wench. 

A. Now don't try to get out of it by cursing her. 
I know better. The more common and low-lived 
they are, the more you hanker after them, especially 
these vagabond theatre players. There was that 
Miss Julia Dean Hayne. Good gracious ! You were 



THE VICTIMS OF OVR WESTEBN TUEKS. 125 

SO crazy for lier, I believe you would have apos- 
tatized and eloped with her to California if she had 
taken you. 

T, Nonsense, Amelia. 

A. Indeed it was nonsense. And then, because 
you couldn't get her living, you had some other 
goose baptized for her after she died, so that you 
might have her in heaven. Very poor chance you 
stand of having hev there. It's more likely she's 
gone there than that you'll ever get there. 

¥. I don't care, if I only have you with me. 

A. Now don't try and soothe me with taffy- 
syrup. You'd be playing your old tricks even in 
the .other world. What a pity heaven won't be a 
great big Lion house. But what about this Rawdon 
woman ? 

Y. I told you it is nothing out of the way. I don't 
see why you should always be prying into my 
business, Amelia. 

A. Yes, I have to watch you like a master does a 
thieving boy. 

Y, You are jealous. 

A. If I am, I have cause to be. Are you going to 
tell me now ? 

Y. Must I? 

A, Yes, I want to know. 

Y, Well, if you must know, I engaged her to flirt 
with Judge Letcher until he takes liberties with her, 
and then tell on him, so that he'll either have to run 
away, or else join the church. 

A, Ah, that's the reason the cluirch is so full of 
blackguards. I don't know whether I can believe 
you, but your story sounds so devilish wicked, that I 



126 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

almost think it must be true. But what business 
have you to be taking liberties with her? 
[Knocking. Uriter Driver.] 

y. Come in. 

Driver. Good-morning ma'am, and Ve brought 
the sewing-machine for Mrs. Amelia. 

A. What sewing-machine ? 

T. I ordered one in town yesterday. 

A. You did? Why didn 't you tell me about it? 

Y. I wanted to surprise j^ou with it. 

A. You wanted to bribe me with it. What make is 
it ? Wheeler & Wilson ! Why did you send me this 
thing? You know I wanted a Singer. l_Kick8 it 
down-stairs.'] I don't want it. Go pick up your 
trash and take it away. What are you standing 
there staring at me for? Go, I tell yoii. 

[^Exit Driver, 

Y. All the people will be talking about your ter- 
rible temper soon. 

A. You keep quiet or I'll send you after it. A 
temper isn't as bad as a wicked heart. It's you who 
make me have a bad temper, you wicked old hyp- 
ocrite. [^Cries. 

Y. (aside^ Now she's coming' round. Tut, tut, 
Amelia, you know how much I have already done and 
given up for you. How can you talk so ? Come, now, 
you shall have a Singer to-day, and if you are pleas- 
ant I'll get you that pony phaeton you were teasing 
me about and a grand piano for your drawing-room, 
too. 

A. O dear, dear ! That's the way he always gets 
around one. Get away, you old scamp. I'll see 
about it. Come along to dinner now. \^Exeunt. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 127 

SCENE II. — House of George Q. Cannok. Four 

wives fighting. 

Entei' Biddy, Mrs. Grey and Evelyn. 

Biddy, Tare an' tounty, here is a foine ruction. 
Here is the four ladies of the house a tearin' aich 
other like two pair o' Kilkenny cats. It's the shtrange 
counthry intoirely where the men does all the mar- 
ryin' an' the wimmin does all the fightin'. Howly 
Virgin, look at the hair a fly in'! It's like the dacint 
wake in owld Ireland. Shadh ye bloodhy toigers, is 
it a murdherin' of yerselves ye'U be ? 

3Irs. G-. What a disgraceful scene. What is the 
matter, my sisters? Leave off, please. This is too 
dreadful. 

U7iter George Q. Caxnon, John D. Lee and 
Orson Pratt, singing : 

The fellow that was never drunk, 
He is a washy Jack. 
We are the jolly Mormon boys 
Ye, Gentiles, clear the track ! 
Ho, ho, by Jo, Jo. 

Whiskey from the prophet's still 
More than we can carry. 
Pretty girls to kiss at will, 
Plenty girls to marry. 
Yo, yo, by Jo, Jo. 

We are the jolly Mormons free, 
We're going on a saintly spree, 
And we don't care a cussed damn 
For Satan or for Uncle Sam. 
No, no, by Jo, Jo. 

Cannon. What the devil is this ? 
Lee. Hell, here's a go, boys. A 'lection fight, 
two agin two. Ha, ha ! This is jolly. 



128 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

C, Aren't you ashamed of yourselves, you liags? 
Will you stop it instantly ! Tell me what is the 
matter, Maria? 

Wife No, 4. O, Eliza and Louisa, were teasing me 
again, and because I wouldn't quietly put up with it, 
they fell upon and would a' killed me, I believe, if 
Amanda hadn't helped me. 

Wife JVo. 3. She lies, the saucy thing. She was 
putting Oil some of her airs again, and jeering Eliza 
and me. Slie thinks she's the latest favorite, and 
I tell you, George Cannon, we won't put up with 
her impudence, the upstart. 

0. Be quiet, you hussy. What business is it of 
yours if she is the latest? Til bring half-a-dozen 
into the house if I like. 

Wife No, 4. O, no, don't ! {Cries,'] 

C, Yovi fighting cocks, you disgrace me, scratching 
and tousing each other like a parcel of prostitutes in 
an alley. 

Wife No, 2. What else are we, I'd like to know, 
and who has made us so ? O, Mrs. Gray, don't despise 
us. I was brought up a lady too, and would have 
formerly revolted from sucli a scene, but Mormonism 
has brought us to this. Forgive me, Amanda. 

Wife No. 1. I can't. You broke mj^ heart. You 
robbed me of my husband. You wrecked m}'- life. 
lCries,~\ 

C, Boohoo ! You cats, first you bite and scratch 
each other's eyes out, and then you stand around and 
mew and cry. 

Lee, Come, ole gals, don't snivel about it, git up 
and go at it agin. Fight it out fair an' square. No, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 129 

1 and No. 4, agin No. 2 an' No. 3. Come, I'll bet on 
the ontside pair. 

0. Pratt. A demijohn o' the Old Covenant on the 
inside pair. 

Lee. Come, up an* at 'em, my bully gals. 

C. Shut up John. You're drunk. 

Eve. Mamma, are you coming? 

Pr, O, you won't leave us, my beauty, will you? 

Lee. O, yes. We're too low fur her now. She 
don't know poor John Lee no more. She's looking 
higher, she's way above us. 

Biddy. Faix, ye blaggard, an' so she is. It's ill 
her commin to offind her swate eyes wid lookin' 
on ye. 

Cannon. I hope you will excuse this disgraceful 
scene. Miss Grey. I deeply regret it. Brother Brig- 
ham said he would send a messenger to show you to 
your new quarters, if you persist in leaving. 

3Irs. Gr. The messenger was here before we were 
ready, and said he would return to conduct us there. 
Shall we not wait? 

Live. Not another moment. 

Mrs. Gr. You are so dreadfully peremptory, Evelyn. 
We must go, I suppose. We are very much obliged 
to you for your hospitality, Mr. Cannon. Good- 
bye. \_Exeiint. 

Cannon. Good-bye. This is a miserably unpleasant 
piece of business. The idea of an apostle's wives 
fighting like dogs in the street, and T a Congressman 
too, on my election day. It's an outrage. Go, now, 
you hags, wash 3^our faces and get dressed. I want ^ 
you to come along to the polls and vote. 

Wife No. 2. For whom shall we vote ? 
9 



130 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

0. Never mind, I'll tell you. Go and get ready 
quick. \_J^xeu7it ivives, 

Lee, I tell you how I do, George, when my wini-' 
min' commence any sich doins among themselves. I 
take 'em one by one an' tie 'em to a bedpost an' give 
'em a first-rate lammin'. That takes the fight out of 
'em every time. I've got seventeen of 'em at home 
an' I don't have much trouble with 'em at all. 

i^r. O, pshaw, Brother Lee, that's too common 
an' too troublesome. I've got a still better way with 
mine. I used to have lots o' trouble. Tliey'd get 
to jawin' an' runnin' each other down an' pitchin' into 
each other at last, just like Brother Cannon's liere. 
I studied a good deal about the matter and at last I 
found a remed}^ that's just patent, I can tell you. 

Lee. What's that? Locked 'em up without grub? 
That won't do. 

Pr. No, I thought to myself! now all this trouble 
comes of their tongue and their talkin. If they don't 
give each other any gab, they won't throw brick- 
bats at each other. So I went to work like the Lord 
did at the Tower of Babel and confounded their 
tongues. 

L, Confound your buttons, how did you do that ? 

P)\ Why, I just went to Brother Brigham, and 
had 'em all divorced. Then I went to work and picked 
me out new ones from all the different foreign prose- 
lytes in Utah, a Dutch wife, a Danish wife, a Welsh 
wife, a German wife, a French wife, a English wife, 
a Mexican wife and a Indian, and liad 'em all sealed 
to me on one day. And I tell you my house is like a 
heaven now, while it was a hell before. You never 
hear a word all day long. Why they couldn't fuss if 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 131 

tliey wanted to, because tliey don't understand eacli 
others lingo, don't you see ? It works like a charm. 
I'm going to keep on adding new ones, just as we get 
converts from new countries. 

(7. A devilish good plan, and it would be spe- 
cially serviceable to me as a Congressman, as a 
statistical table of the nationalities represented in the 
church. Those fellows in the House are death on 
figures, and sucli a plan might help me to remember. 

Pr, Try it, if your prize-fighters here don't be- 
have, but be careful not to take in an American 
amongst *em. She'd be sure to learn the language 
of all the others in a twinkling and set them at eacli 
other's ears. American women are too independent 
and intractable anyhow. It's just them that makes 
all the rumpus in Zion. 

Lee. Say, George, do you ever give a picture of the 
Saints' domestic harmony in Congress ? 

. Pr. No ; he goes there to make laws against big- 
amy. Ha, ha ! Make it hot fur the fellow with two 
wives, George. Give him fifteen years at hard labor. 
Don't spare him, the rascal. Let him come to Zion, 
and he can have twent3\ Hallelujah! 
Re-enter Four Wives. 

Lee. Here are your 'lection fighters ag'in. Come, 
shan't we settle that quarrel, now, gals ? 

Pr. Say, this is a master move of Brigham's, tliis 
making the women vote. It settles our majority 
over the Gentiles about five times, and makes us out 
the foremost champions of women's rights in the 
country. 

C. So it does, and that's the joke, for our won^.en 
have no rights at all. But those old maids and 



132 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

bluestockings in Boston are just raving about Brother 
Brigham and preaching him up as the saviour of the 
sex. They'll be swarming out here by the hundreds 
soon. 

Pr. I don't want any of 'em. 

Lee. No, I don't neither. Durn bluestockings, I 
like to see white ones better. Don't I, my sweet- 
hearts ? 

C. John, you're drunk. Come along, my hair- 
pulling quartette. Go home, Orson, and get your 
international petticoat congress ready for the polL 
Hurrah for woman's suffrage ! Down with the Gen- 
tiles [^Exeunt. 



SCENE III. — Tabernacle. Mormon Congregation 
coming in^ Rob. and Jas. in the rear. 

Bob. Have you heard the news of this morning, 
Jim ? 

Jas. No, what news ? 

Hob. They say that Judge Letcher has flown to 
parts unknown. 

Jas. Flown? What for? 

Hob. Why that is the facetiousness of fate. The 
case would seem to be as the papers are wont to say, 
one of scandal in high life, but how any faux pas 
can be or cause scandal here where scandal is the 
rule and the standard, that is the amusing conun- 
drum. From the different on dits about the hap, I 
deduct the tale that His Honor became inveigled in 
the toils of some Mormon woman, and made a very 
unprofessional attack upon her honor. The learned 
judge in summing up the case, reached the decision, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTEBN TUBES. 133 

summarily to adjourn sine die. He is gone, and the 
jubilant saints are making golden capital out of his 
flight. 

JaB. This is some of Brigham's plotting. 

Mob. Very likely. 

Jas. Old Letcher should have been shot before he 
could have played into Brigham's hands in this way. 

Hob. He ought to be shot for his barbarous taste. 
The mere suggestion of getting enamored of one of 
these hooded scarecrows should be enough to make 
one fly to Van Dieman's land or the Desert of Sa- 
hara. 

Jas. I have news of an equally bad character. 

Mob. Indeed, what may that be ? 

Jas. A letter from my old comrade. Col. Cart- 
ridge, informing me that the army has been recalled, 
and that the commander will order a move from 
Camp Floyd to-morrow. 

Mob. You don't say so ! That is unquestionably 
the fruit of Brother Brigham's fine diplomacy. 

Jas. Yes, aided by the kind offices of Governor 
Dummings. 

Mob. A rather tame denouement to the imposing 
armament that was to crush Mormonism. It reminds 
one of the celebrated feat of that King of France 
who with forty thousand men, marched up a hill 
and then marched down again. 

Jas. They could have done it, if they had not been 
hampered by the civil authorities. My friend Car- 
tridge is furious at the cowardly way in which they 
have been betrayed. He says he is going to Wash- 
ington and raise a row in the war Department, 

Mob. Much good that will do him ! As long as a 



134 EVELYN GBAY; OR, 

machine Government sends such rotten, lobbyized 
lumber out here as this gullible, imbecile Governor 
and this uncesthetic roue of a judge, the outraged 
virtue of the country cannot get into a position to 
put in a blow. 

Jas, But when they do strike, it will be a Tit- 
anic blow. 

Bob, I trust so, but who knows where we will be 
then. 

Jas, The effect of these events will soon be shown 
here. The coast is clear, and Brigham will have 
plain sailing again for a long time. The Gentiles 
had better beware. 

Bod. Do you apply that caution to ourselves ? 
Are we saints or sinners ? 

Jas. I think we can safely apply the warning to 
ourselves. 

Bob, But whether we can so safely carry our skins 
out of danger is another question. 

Jas. I don't apprehend much danger yet, but we 
will go and make preparations for leaving to-mor- 
row. 

Bob. What port shall we sail for ? 

Jas. For mountain-flanked and sunny Denver. 

Bob. But what of Mrs. Gray ? 

Jas. If she is not cured j^et of her mania, she may 
stay here longer. They will do her no harm poor 
woman. 

Bob. But how can you spare the exhilarating pres- 
ence of an amiable mother-in-law ? 

Jas. O, I will try and be resigned. Ha, ha ! 

Bob. Hark, the performance is beginning here. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 135 

(^Congregation Sings.^ 

What peace and joy pervade the Soul, 
And sweet sensations through me roll, 
And love and peace my heart console, 
Since first I met the Mormons ! 
Chorus—Hey the merry, O, the busy. 

Hey, the sturdy Mormons 

I never knew what joy was 

Till I became a Mormon. 

They sing the folly of the wise, 
Sectarian precepts they despise, 
A heaven far above the skies 
Is never sought by Mormons. 

Chorus. 
To Sabbath meetings they repair 
Both old and young assemble there, 
The words of inspiration share, 
No less can suit the Mormons. 

Chorus. 

kt night the Mormons do convene, 
To chat awhile and sing a hymn, 
A.nd one perchance repeat a rhyme 
^e made about the Mormons. 

Chorus. 
The Mormon fathers love to see 
Their Mormon families all agree, 
The prattling infant on his knee 
Cries, Daddy, Tm a Mormon. 

Chorus. 
As youth in Israel once decried 
To wed with those that heaven denied. 
So youth among us now have cried 
We'll marry none but Mormons. 

Chorus. 
High be our heaven, the Mormons cry, 
Our place of birth, and when we die, 
Celestialize and purify 
This earth for perfect Mormons. 

Chorus. 



136 EVELYN GEAY; OB, 

So while we tread the foeman's ground, 
We'll make the trump of freedom sound 
And scatter blessings all round, 
Like free and happy Mormons. 

Chorus. 

[Joseph Young arises on the platformJ] 

Rob. l^aside.l Who is that tatterdemalion orator? 

Jas. [^aside.^ O, that is Jos. Young, the Prophet's 
brother. Isn't he a seedy specimen ? 

Rob. \_aside.1 Yes, he looks like Brigham gone to 
seed. 

Jas. [as^c?^.] He's the clown of the hierarchy and 
the buffoon among the buffoons of the Tabernacle. He 
is Brigham's shadow, always brought along to reflect 
the greatness of the younger brother, just as the 
mediaeval court-fool was designed by his ribaldry to 
magnify the majesty of the king. 

Jos. Young. Now wot's the matter with you? W'y 
don't you all jirie in the singin' ? Is that the way to 
start up the rally in' song ? You ain't got no backbone 
about you. Some o' you young fellers come here to 
the Tabernacle, lookin' all knocked up an' knocked 
over an' knocked under, an' wlien you try to jine in 
the rallyin' song your vices jess goes flop de flop, an' 
soun's squeeky's a cornstalk fiddle. I tell you, you 
ain't got the sperrit of the Lord onto you. You don't 
drink enough straight out, upright Saints' whiskey. 
Let that there ole Gentile stuff alone. The devil is 
in it, of course. Keep your stummix clean. Take a 
little sassifrass tea, once in a w'ile. Don't eat too 
much o' this here green stuff. You'll have the 
cholery morgan the nex' thing 3^ou know, an' then 
w'en you're all doubled up with them cramps, you'll 
be wishin' you hadn't gone an' done it. Look at me. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTEBIST TURKS. 137 

Ole Jo's a plain man. He ain't got no beauty or any- 
thing o' that kin' on to him. He ain't purty. He 
can't git off no fine dandefied airs, and wag his tail 
aroun' the gals, an' snatch his hat off, an' grin like a 
sick perarie dog : '' O, good-mornin', Miss So-an'-so, 
liow did you enjoy the bootiful moonshine las' night? 
Aliem, aha !" [Laughter.^ But I bet you a quarter 
he kin jiss git up an' walk right away from the 
purtiest mother's son of you with a gun over his 
shoulder in the mountings. Yes sirree-bob, with all 
his yearn, he's spryer 'n a squirrel with a curly tail. 
Don't you fool yourselves. 'Tain't beauty wot alius 
does the biz with the gals ; its backbone, ain't it sis- 
teren ? An' ef yu don't look out, one of these fine 
days, ole Jo, plain ole Jo, ugly ole Jo, '11 come 
along an' w'ip away the nicest ones right from under 
yer nose. Durned ef I don't do it. \_Laughter arid 
applause."] 

Bob. [^aside.'] If the old ragamuffin had some wit in 
him, this would be as good as a negro minstrel sl^ow. 

Jas. [^aside.] It will grow more interesting anon. 

Bob. [^aside.] The audience seem to be quite good- 
humored and harmless. 

Jas. [aside.] Wait till Brigham gets through with 
them. [George Q. Cannon arises.] Hello, the big 
Cannon is going off already. 

Bob. [aside.] And, if Imistake not, I perceive on 
his face the traces of Larry's plugging and priming. 

Jas. [aside.] Yes, I'll wager he's full to exploding. 

G-eo. Q. Cannon. Bretheren and sisters, I guess we 
all feel pretty good to-day. I know I do. [Laughter.] 

Bob. [aside.] Your black eyes belie you, brother. 

Cannon. The Lord hath given Israel victory over 



138 EVELYN GBAV; OB, 

her enemies, and Israel hath come up to rejoice in 
her Tabernacle. The hosts of the Gentiles came 
with the sound of arms, and arrayed themselves 
against the battlements of Zion. The daughter of 
Zion trembled on her holy hill, but the Lord con- 
founded the counsels of the ungodly through the 
wisdom of his Prophet. They came in the might of 
arms, trusting in the flesh, and thirsting for the blood 
of the saints; but the Lord put to naught their 
boasts and their prowess. The Lord God of hosts 
stretched forth His arm, and they fled dismayed like 
the hosts of Midian before the trumpet of Gideon. 

Bob, [^aside.'] Does the wind sit in that quarter ? 

Jas. l^aside.'] Yes. Now that the danger is over, 
these cowardly canting cocks begin to crow. 

Cannon. Who now will say that the Lord is not 
on our side ? Where are those who lusted for the 
flesh-pots of Egypt, and would have turned back to 
the slavery and tyranny of Pharaoh ? The Lord led 
His Israel forth out of the house of bondage; the 
enemy, in their idolatrous rage and wicked hate, 
pursued us from Illinois to Missouri, from Missouri 
across the desert out here to Utah. But the Lord 
interposed a pillar of fire between us and them. He 
terrified and dispersed them. He brought us to 
Canaan, and established us in Zion. Still, their 
heathen rage is not abated, but they send their 
columned hosts against us. But the Lord is with us, 
and, without might of arms, without stroke of sword, 
or bloodshed. He dispersed them away from his 
people by the frown of His face. And yet there are 
some who still speak of loyalty to the United States. 



TIIE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 139 

Unworth}^, unfaithful saints. Know ye not that this 
country is given into our hands as an heritage, and 
the inhabitants thereof as our servants? Yes, the 
President of these United States shall some da}" 
blacken the boots of Brother Brigham. \_Laughter,'] 

Jas. l_aside.'] Somebody ought to blacken your eyes 
again, villain ! 

Cannon. It is all he is fit for, with his cowardly soul 
with all his minions and subjects. He sent a vile- 
hearted, vain-mouthed creature out here to judge the 
saints. He came with a great show of virtue and 
justice and threats of retribution. Where is the 
dreadful Daniel now? Flown away like a felon in 
the night. He was caught in the vile attempt to 
ruin one of the fair daughters of Zion. [Hisses and 
cries: Kill him ! Shoot him !] 

Hob. \_aside.'] Shoot him for his barbarous taste. 

Camion. Shooting would be too good for him, 
bretheren. Hanging is too good for such monsters, 
who dare to lay their nasty hands upon our pure, 
sweet maidens. His master, the devil, saved him 
from the vengeance of our j^outh. Let him go. Zion 
is unpolluted by his presence. But w^hat shall we 
say to them, who, being saints and children of Israel, 
humiliate us so low as to still bear allegiance to a 
Government that sends not only her rabble and her 
rowdies out here to murder us, but her officials to 
ravish and ruin our wives and daughters. (Cries, 
'' They are traitors." '' They must be cut off ! " '' Kill 
them! Kill them!") 

Gannon. Ye hear the judgment of God in the voice 
of His people, ye lukewarm saints, ye loj^al Mormons. 
Be assured your sins will find you out. I tell you 



140 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

solemnly, I warn you earnestly to beware. And what 
do you say to that Government tliat seeks to murder 
your children, pollute your women and destroy your 
glorious religion ? Will you swear eternal friend- 
ship or eternal enmity ? [Cries "Eternal enmity ! 
Down with it ! Down with it ! Damn the United 
States ! "] That is enough. I thought you were all 
right on this doctrine (Sits down.) ] Wild applause 
and excitement.] 

Jas. l^aside^l This is almost too much for an 
American to listen to quietly. 

Hob, [^aside,'] Yes, it is a regular cold shower-bath 
of sedition. But he is a very Mark Antony in his 
handling of the people. 

Jas, ^aside,'] I promise you in demagoguery the 
wire-pullers of the states are schoolboys to these 
fellows. 

[H. C. Kimball rises.1 

Heigh-ho, there is jouv subject too. It seems that 
pummelling stirs up the oratory in these chaps. 

Hob, [^aside.'] I believe it does in most people. 

Kimball, That's the music I love to hear, brethren, 
— that's the way to speak up. To hell with the 
Government that spills the blood, that murders 
the holy prophets of the Lord, that sends its judges 
and orovernors to defile our wives and dausfhters and 
then threatens to punish us as adulterers and 
criminals. Did you ever hear of such a country full 
of hypocrites and liars ? Why, they are worse than 
the old Pagan C?esars who wallowed in vice and 
martyred the early Christians, — worse, because they 
didn't set up for models of virtue and cant about 
their own morality and the immorality of others. 



THE VICTIMS OF QUE WESTERN TURKS. 141 

Immorality, forsooth ! Where is the greatest im- 
morality to be found ! Do we have whole streets full 
of bawdy-houses strung out in a row where their old 
men and their young men resort ? Do we have 
police courts where dozens of seducers, ravishers 
and abortionists are hauled up every morning for a 
mock trial and a little fine ? Do we have great 
foundling institutions where hundreds of bastards 
are reared to become villains like their fathers and 
then let loose upon poor womankind again. Now, 
say, do you find such beastly satanic doings in Zion ? 
(Cries : " No indeed, not much, thank God, no ! ") No, 
indeed, thank God ! But they have them in every city, 
and yet they have the impudence to call us adulterers 
and criminals and threaten to crush Mormonism be- 
cause it is an impure religion, an insult against the 
Ls^vs of God and their constitution a blotch, a sore, a 
cancer and what not. You know that's a devilish 
lie. You know that in the patriarchal age, in the 
primitive state of society, when men were purest, 
polygamy was the rule, and their stupid Constitution 
doesn't say a word against it neither, but guarantees 
full religious liberty to everybody and they know and 
feel very well that we are the saints and thej^ the 
sinners, because when they set about legislating 
against us, they're afraid to do anything positive, but 
just beat about the bush. They know very well that 
they're all secret corruptionists and whoremongers 
from Washington down to this Judge Letcher. 
(Hisses). And they know that we know. We've 
had some brethren in Washington looking up their 
records and dogging their tracks. So just let them 
do their worst and we'll make it hot for them. We'll 



142 EVEYLN GRAY; OB, 

smoke them oat of Washington with the fumes of 
their own wicked fires. Meanwhile there they stand 
in their babble house of a congress, like the jackass 
between the two bales of hay. The people want 
them to do something, but they don't know wliether 
to say yes or no. We have five times the number of 
inhabitants necessary to constitute a state. East and 
west of us Colorado and Nevada have been admitted 
long ago, but they won't admit us because, as they say, 
polygamy is illegal. Well, if it is, why the hell don't 
they abolish it ? Haven't they the power ? Are they 
not millions to our thousands ? Why don't they, in- 
deed? Ha, ha, ha ! Because they can't ! C Applause.) 
Because they're afraid ! (Increased applause). Be- 
cause it's the eternal revelation and institution of the 
Lord God Almight}^ (Deafening applause.) That's 
why ! 

Because the time is now near at hand, when, as 
the Prophet Isaiah foretold, war shall devastate their 
country and consume their men and then seven 
women shall take hold of one man and they shall be- 
come our women and be saved by us. Yes, it is this 
glorious institution of celestial marriage that alone 
can purify the world and that \vill redeem mankind. 
Yes, and it is this that exalts and distinguishes our 
system. Without this, Mormonism falls to the 
ground. And yet there are are so many saints who 
are afraid to become pltiralists. Nice Mormons 
these, no better than infidels and traitors. And 
it has to stop too. The President has had patience 
with you so long, but now, you've got to marry ! 
Marry ! ! Marry ! ! ! Go, and get you more wives. 
What are you afraid of ? Oh, the first wife don't 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 143 

like it. No, the women never do Icnow what is good 
for them. They're too ignorant and stupid. I don't 
think any more of my women than of so many cows. 
Yes, they are my cows. I have a drove of seventeen 
and I am going to get a half-dozen more. And what 
do you mean by this durned squeamishness about 
what the gentiles call incest. Blame them, there's no 
such thing for the saints. They shall live togetlier 
like the other creatures of God in Paradisian innocence 
and freedom. You can marry sisters, mothers and 
daughters or whatever you want. You're above the 
laws and prejudices of the beastly Gentiles. What is 
crime for them is virtue for us. So let us not hear 
any more of this weak, treasonable twaddle in Zion. 
Whoever talks it, his sin and his blood will be upon 
his own head. 

Rob. \_aside.'] Faugh ! The Cloaca Maxima is 
opened now, and we will be choked by this flow of 
Mormon sewage. This thing is growing unaesthetic 
ad nauseam. My inner olfactories rebeL Suppose 
we go, Jim. 

Jas. [^aside."] No, no, let's hear it out. It will grow 
more interesting still. 

Ilob. \^aside,'\ Bah, there is nothing interesting in 
ordure. Tuikish poh^gamy with oriental beauty and 
chivalry is a tolerable thing, but this would make the 
devil hold his nose. 

Jas. [aside."] Well, waitnntil the devil speaks. I 
see him on the stage. (Congregation sings :) 

O God of life and glory ! 

Hear Thou a people's prayer, 
Bless, bless our Prophet Brigham ; 

Let him Thy fullness share. 



144 KVELYJSf G/^!AY; OB, 

He is Thy chosen servant— 

To lead Thine Israel forth, 
Till Zion, crowned with joy, shall be 

A praise in all earth. 

He draws from Christ, the fountain 

Of everlasting truth, 
The wise and prudent counsels 

Wliich he gives to age and youth. 
Thyself in him reflected 

Through mortal agency, 
He is Thy representative 

To set Thy people free. 

Thou richly hast endowed him 

With wisdom's bounteous store, 
And Thou hast made him mighty 

By Thy own almighty power — 
O let his life be precious — 

Bless Thou his brethren too 
Who firmly join him side by side 

Wlio're true as he is true. 

Help him to f oimd Thy kingdom 

In majesty and power, 
With peace in every palace 

And with strength in every tower, 
And when Thy chosen Israel 

Their noblest strains have sung, 
The swelling chorus there shall be 

Our Prophet, Brigham Young. 

Jas. l^aside.'] Yes, while he howls eternally, 
The devils in hell among ! 

Hoh. l^aside.'] Horror, Jim, has the divine afflatus 
seized you too ? 

Jas, l^aside.'] Who could help it, when it blows 
such a Rocky Mountain gale ? But, look ! There, 
sure enougli the beast of beasts is up. \_Oheers.'\ 

Itob, \^aside,'] And the rest of the cattle are lowing 
toward their king. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUll WESTERN TURKS. Uo 

Br. Y. Well, my people, I see that you Lave 
riglitly taken the cue from the brethren and under- 
stand the situation. The coast is clear and the day 
of reckoning has come. Let's have no more palaver 
about t!ie enemy. They are doomed to perish like the 
infernal Cauaanifces of old did by the sword of Israel 
1 hey are judged and will be exterminated, and their 
blood and rotting bones shall manure the earth for 
us ; but if you think I have called you together here 
only to hear this, you are mightily mistaken-not by 
a darn sight ! I brought you here to tell jou that I 
am going to turn over a new leaf. When one of the 
Gentiles begins to sympathize and fraternize with us, 
they call him a Jack Mormon. And when a Mormon 
begins to sympathize and fraternize with them I call 
him a Jack Gentile. We have lots of Jack Gentiles 
and I tell you I am after their scalps. ^Laughter.-] 

you laugh, do you ? You think I am using a funny 
figure of speech. You think I am going to have" 
their Gentile friends attended to. And so I am. 
There is not a dog of an unbeliever in the tefritory 
for whose life I would give fifteen cents. I know 
them. I have got a list of their names written in 
red ink, and I promise you some lively music wlien 

1 commence with them. It will be like morning of 
hog killing day on the farm. But it is not those I mean 
now. I mean you, Jack Gentiles, I mean you truant, 
recreant Mormons, I mean you, careless, indifferent 
and unfaithful saints. I mean those who have 
neglected their tithes and ward meetings and endow- 
ment duties. I mean those who have been trading and 
hobnobbing witli the Gentiles and spurning the com- 
mands of their Prophet. I tell you your cases shall b3 



146 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

attended to. Righteousness shall be laid to the rod 
and judgement to the plummet. We have a law that 
God revealed, and I am going to enforce it to the letter. 
There are sins that the blood of a lamb or a calf can 
not remit, but they must be atoned for by the blood 
of the sinner. You say the Son of God shed His blood 
for our sins. I tell you, you don't shield yourselves 
behind that. That won't do. Your ow^n blood must 
flow on the ground, that the smoke thereof may 
ascend to heaven and atone for your sins. Don't 
expect to escape by flight either. I've got all the 
avenues of the territory guarded, and whoever tries 
to flee will be shot down like a dog, and then your 
fate will be that of apostates. Not only your 
bodies but your souls wdll be lost and go down to 
everlasting hell. If you know what's good for you, 
you will come and have your cases attended to 
that your souls may be saved. Ha, you don't laugh 
now. Where's your joking now ? Why do you 
pale and tremble? Is this doctrine too strong for 
you ? It is strong doctrine. It is the doctrine 
of the blood atonement and it is sound Mormon 
doctrine. You knew it was. And if you had come 
up to the other sound Mormon doctrines, you wouldn't 
have come to this. I am tired of feeding you milk like 
babes. I am going to give you strong meat. Don't 
th.ink you'll get mercy. The day of mercy is past. 
The hour of reckoning and retribution is come. The 
reformation has beofun. The sword of the Almi^fhtv 
is unsheathed, and in spite of all howling and tears 
and kneeling prayers, his Prophet will spill the blood 
of the unfaithful. \_While the congregation disperse 
in great consternation and confusion the curtain falls. '\ 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 147 

SCENE IV. Interior of Cottage. Mrs. Gray 
reclining on a rude lounge. Evelyn, Biddy. 

Uve. How do you feel now, mamma ? 

Mrs. Gr. Very bad, very bad, indeed, Evelyn. 

JEve. Have you any pain, dear mamma ? 

Mrs.G. No, no particular pain as yet, but I know 
I will have soon. 

Biddy. Faix, ma'am, an' ye'U know it well enough 
whin ye's has it, so don't be throublin' yerself wid it 
afore, but cheer up a bit. 

Mrs. Gr. There is no use trying, Biddy, I know it 
is hopeless. 

JEve. Will you not drink this cup of tea I have 
prepared for you ? 

Mrs. Gr. Tea ! How could you cook tea in this 
hovel ? No, I can't drink it. 

Uve. It might refresh you, mamma dear. 

Mrs. Gr. I tell you I can't drink the stuff. I feel 
too miserable. 

Uve. Is there anything else I can do to make you 
comfortable ? 

Mrs. Gr. No, child. How can you speak of comfort 
in such a kennel. It is vulgar. Have I ever lived 
in such a; place? 

JEve. But since we must live in it now, is it not 
best to make ourselves as comfortable as we can? 

Biddy. Shure ma'am, it's meself as hes heard ye 
tellin, it a hundred toimes : ^' Biddy," ye sez, "I'd 
sooner be afther livin' in a hut wid the saints than in 
a paliss wid the Gentiles at all." 

Bve. I am sure that James will assist us inputting 
things aright, as soon as he finds us here. 

Mrs. Gr. I do not desire his assistance. We should 



148 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

liave staid at Mr. Cannon's house. We had decent 
quarters there at least, but your fine fastidiousness 
drove us awa}'. 

Uve, Would 3^ou be willing to return there, dear 
mamma ? 

3Irs. (7. I do not know. How can you trouble me 
with unpleasant questions? I know this is terrible. 
How can you be so cheerful, Biddy? It is shocking 
to see it. 

Biddy. Sorrj^ a bit, ma'am. I was brought up in 
the loikes ov it. If me Larry avuz sittin' in the dour 
a smokin' his doodeen an' the bouchaleens wuz 
rollikin' outside an' a pig wuz lyin' in your place 
there in the corner, axin yer pardon, ma'am, faix it's 
meself as would fale at home all togither. 

Mrs, Gr. Oh, dear, it is dreadful. And I will not 
bear it. I will not be defrauded out of my rights. 
You must go and see Mr. Young, Evelyn. There 
must be some mistake. He cannot intend this as an 
equivalent for such a sum of money. Perhaps he is 
angry with us for leaving our quarters without con- 
sulting him. If so, you will, I hope, make ample apol- 
ogies. But you must go to him. Tell him our con- 
dition. Why, it rains through the roof. Tell him I 
will die if I remain here. Tell him either to give 
us back our money or a house fit to live in. We will 
not prescribe to him. I do not demand a grand 
house. But you must go to-day, at once. 

Uve. Could not James or Mr. Norris attend to it ? 
They are better acquainted with property matters. 

3Irs, Cr. No, no. You know they would frustrate 
everything. Not being members of the church, their 
coming to him might onl}^ exasperate him. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 149 

Uve. Why should that make a difference ? Does 
the creed of otliers modify the honesty of this — • 
Prophet of God? 

3Irs. Gr. I do not know. I only know that they 
would accomplish nothing. Either you or I must go 
and as I am too ill the duty devolves on you. 

Uve, Might not James accompany me ? 

3frs, Cr, That would be just as bad. He certainly 
has heard of that dreadful affair in tlie Endowment 
House and his anger against the gentlemen must be 
great. 

Uve. You know, mamma, that I am just as mucli 
a culprit as they, and that I will never take the 
oaths. 

Mrs, Gr. Ah, I cannot dispute with you now. I 
only saw that he seemed very benevolent towards 
you. 

^ve. That is one reason why I whould not like to 
go to him. 

Mrs. Gr. Do not trouble my poor head with riddles. 
What can you mean ? 

Uve. I mean that he is not truly friendly to us. I 
believe James would not approve of my going there 
unattended. 

3Irs. Gr. Oh, must I be twitted with his authority 
so soon ? Must I be told by my own child that my 
slightest wish cannot be gratified, because it does not 
meet the lordly approval of another ? Must I live 
to experience this ? 

Uve. Dear mamma, he does not wish anything ex- 
cept mj^ welfare and yours. 

M/'s.Gr. Is it my welfare to languish and die in 
this squalid hole ? Oh, I see he has already estranged 



150 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

your affections from your mother and made you 
indifferent to her sufferings. You live only to please 
him. You care nothing for your poor suffering 
and widowed mother 

Uve. Oh, mamma. 

Mrs. Gr. Yes, Evelyn, it is true. Ever since that 
fatal meeting in Italy your heart has been turned 
away from j^our God and your parents. I am glad 
that your poor father did not live to see this. Oh, 
would I were lying beside him under the snowdrift 
in the mountain. 

Uve. Mamma, mamma, don't. You break my 
heart. I cannot bear it. Don't speak so. I will do 
all you want. I will go immediately. I will go into 
a lion's den, if you command it, only do not speak 
such cruel words to me. Darling mamma, you know 
I love you. 

Mrs. Gr. Why do you behave in this unfilial man- 
ner then ? 

Uve. I thought it was for the best. I feared that 
our misfortunes would only deepen through my going 
there. I did not wish to oppose you. 

Mrs. Gr. You might have waited with his authority 
until you are married. 

Uve. I will not speak to him about it. I will go 
immediately. I suppose I am needlessly timid and 
afraid. Forgive me, dearest mamma, will you not ? 
Kiss me and say that I am your own loving Evelyn. 

Mrs. Gr. Yes, child, good-bye, don't be away long, 
and do not forget the paper. 

Uve. Good-bye, sweet mamma. God be with you 
till I see you again. Good-bye, Biddy, dear. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTEUN TURKS. 151 

Biddy. Good-bye a-vilish, the howly Mither be 
wid ye. 

\^Exit Evelyn.] 

Mrs. Gr. Dear me, who would have anticipated 
such a wretched experience ! This is a poor begin- 
ning in Zion. How do yon find it here, Biddy ? 

Biddy. Troth, much like a lape year parthy en- 
toirely. 

Mrs. Gr. Oh, dear, more riddles. What can you 
mean ? 

Biddy. Fwy, I mean that it's noice fur the men, 
spicially men wid a turn to mathrimony. 

Mrs. G-. Oh, dear me, you don't think, Biddy, that 
that di'eadful thing is really so ? I can hardly believe 
it and Mr. Cannon explained to me that it was only 
a spiritual union of saintly love. 

Biddy. He did indade ? Avick, is it that thim 
white-headed childers in his house that looks loike a 
famih" ov twins is shpiritooal childers. By the same 
token it wuz meself as see a half dozen ov 'em, whin 
I wuz there to see yez, carryin' on a ruction ez lively 
an' ez raal lookin' es the hairpuUin' ov their — their — 
auiities. 

Mrs. Gr. Ah, T do not know what to think of it. I 
suppose we ought iiotto think of it at all. There may 
be many mj^steiious things in Mormonism that with 
our unsanctified reason we cannot understand. You 
know, Biddj^ there is much of that in your old re- 
ligion. 

Biddy. Shure there is, an' it's fur that same rayson 
Iwint out of it entoirely, but, dher manim, the divil 
as brought us out ov the fryin' pan into the fire. 

l^Kno eking. '\ 



152 MVELYN GRAY; OR, 

' Enter John D. Lee. 
Come in. Arrah, talk ov the divil an' youll shmell the 
brimstone ov his tail. 

X. Good-morning, Sister Gray. 

Mrs, Gr. Good-morning, sir. 

L. You are rather cold towards me, Sister Gi-ay. 

Mrs. Gr, After your behavior of j'^esterday, I do 
not see what else you can expect. 

L, Mebbe you're right. I did behave a little rough. 

Mrs. Gr. It was disgraceful and scandalous. I never 
expected to see it in you. 

L. I know it, Sister Gray, an' I'm sorry fur it. 
We did cut up too high that's a fack. 

Mrs. Gr. It is a terrible example in the dignitaries 
of the church. 

L. That's wot I tole Brother Orson this mornin'. 
We ought to give a better example, but it jist seems 
Satan tries to revenge hisself on us that w^ay fur the 
hard knocks we're alius givin' him. 

3Irs. Gr. How could you ever come to do it? 

L. The 'lection, dear sister, the pested 'lection is 
jist at the bottom of it. I'm goin' to talk to Brother 
Brigham about the abuse. In America everybody 
gits drunk on 'lection day, and some o' the boys that 
are no better than the Gentiles kep treatin' us so 
long till we jist had a little too much. 

Mrs. Gr. I hope it will not happen soon again. 

L. You kin bet your life on it, that it won't no 
more with me. 

Mrs. Gr. Evelyn was evidently very much dis- 
gusted. 

L. I seen it on her. I'm ashamed o' myself. 
Where is she now ? I come here to tell her. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 153 

Mrs. Gr, She has gone to see Brother Brigham 
about our miserable quarters. 

X. She has ? 

Mrs, Cr. Yes, you see what a place it is. I am 
suffering for the comforts of life, and am ill. 

L. I'll tell you what. Come along with me to my 
place in Harmony, you an' Evelyn both. I'm goin' 
back there to-morrow. I guess Brother Brigham ain't 
got no better house fur you jist now. I've got a big 
place. Plenty to eat an' plenty people to wait on 
you. You shall have a nice cottage all to yourselves, 
where you kin rest an' git well. Wot do you say ? 

Mrs, G, You are very kind, I have no objections, 
but I should like to ask you for information about 
this celestial — celestial marriage. Is it really, ah — 
polygamy, like the Turkish 

L, No, indeed. That's a lie. Who's been tellin' 
you this? But never mind, I know. 

Enter Mrs. Lee. 
Hello, where the devil do you come from ? What 
do you want here ? 

Mrs. L, Am I too late ? 

Biddy. Faix, ma'am that depinds on yer loiken. 
Ye're too late fur the sarmint, but in time fur the 
shrift. 

Mrs. L. I heard 'em talking about it out home. I 
lieard 'em saying among themselves that he was 
going to bring another one home an' one of 'em some- 
how found out that she was young and beautiful and 
refined — although we were told that she came with 
the hand-cart lot, and my heart just jumped into my 
mouth. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat any more. 
Something just drove me away to Salt Lake. Some- 



154 EVELYN GBAY; OB. 

thing said to me : Hurry, hurry, hurry up ! May- 
he you can prevent it. Maybe you can beat him yet 
and save the poor darling from our fate. It gave me 
no rest but was always repeating, hurry, hurry, hurry 
up. At last in the middle of the night, when I 
couldn't stand it any longer, I jumped up and ran 
away. I couldn't walk, not even when I wanted to, 
but just ran, ran all the way, through the woods, on 
the road, over the hills. And here I am at last. I 
found the place. I know who you are. I see him 
here — Oh, now tell me am I not too late ? Are they 
sealed already ? 

Biddy. Saled is it. Musha, ma'am, an' it 'ed be 
a bad bargain ov a sale, if Miss Evelyn, avourneen 
would marry the loikes ov him. 

Mrs. L. Then they are not ? Oh, thank God. I 
am so happy. He's been beat out of this one. She 
is not here, is she ? And she is very beautiful, is she 
not ? 

Biddy. Troth, an' its well ye may say that, a 
suilish machree. Ez bootiful ez a queen an' ez good 
ez the howly virgin. 

Mrs. L. You don't say! The sweet young lady! 
Oh, why did she ever come here ? Good and beautiful 
and among the Mormons? Oh, God pity her. But 
John Lee cannot have her. You are quite sure he 
will not get her ? 

Biddy. Divil a bit, the bealcam, niver ez long ez 
Biddy Mahone is to the fore an' the Capting and 
Misther Rob, an' that'll be ez long ez we live, plaze 
God. 

Mrs. L. Ha, ha ! No wonder he lusted for her. 
Young and beautiful. Ugh, and he so old and ugly, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTEBN TURKS, 155 

and oh, so bad, so cruel and so bad. Is that her 
mother, there ? Yes, I know that is her mother, 
Oh, my sister, why did you come here ? 

Mrs. Gr. What a distressing question for my poor 
head ! May I ask you, good woman, why you came 
here, and who you are ? 

Mrs. L. 1? Bless your heart, my poor dear, I am 
his wife. 

Biddy. Death alive. 

L. Ha, ha, ha, that's a good one. 

Mrs. L. His first and only lawful, faithful wife. 

Mrs. Gr. Oh, Brother Lee ! 

L. She lies, the old hag. She is a crazy woman 
that runs about the country and imagines she is 
married to me. 

Mrs. L. Crazy! Oh, it wouldn't be a great wonder 
if I did get crazy soon. Oh, God, many a time when 
I sit and think about my wrongs and sufferings, my 
blood begins to boil and my head swims, and I feel so 
terrible, so as if in the next minute I would jump 
up wild and raving and run through the world a mad 
woman. Imagine ? Yes, it is so long ago, when I 
was his proper wife, that I often think it must be all 
a dream of my imagination. Yes, I was his happy, 
only, beloved wife once, but that was many, many 
years ago. We lived together in our cozy cabin, and 
my husband loved and honored me, and we were so 
happy until Jo. Smith came with his religion of liell 
— Oh, may God sweep it from the face of the earth 
and kick it down into the bottomless pit! — We went 
with him and my husband loved me still and still I 
was happy. But one day he brought a strange 
woman to our house and said, with shame in his eyes, 



156 EVELYN GUAY; OB, 

this is my other wife, — then my happiness was over. 
Oh, why didn't you kill me first ? Oh, a thousand 
times rather ! 

And so it went on, one after another, until there 
are nineteen now, nineteen poor, broken-hearted, 
degraded, quarreling women, with hate and despair 
and sorrow in their souls. But I loved him first and 
best. I who never looked at another man, I who 
shared his poverty and hardship, who bore his chil- 
dren and nursed him in his sickness, I who even to- 
day would go through fire and death for him, I was 
treated as though I was the unfaithful, wicked one. 
He made all the others do it too. I was kicked and 
cuffed, locked up and starved, shut out in the cold 
and made a laughing stock of by all. He taught them 
to win his love by spitting on me. He smiled when 
they reviled me. I have reaped contempt for my 
love and abuse for my fidelity. A dog who is kicked 
by his brutal master, if he fawns and licks his 
tyrant's feet, will at last be patted and petted, bat I 
who did this these many, many years, received only 
new kicks and fresh outrages. O, I could tell a 
story, sisters mine, you would not think it possible 
outside the burning pit of hell. But I don't blame 
him — it is not his fault. He was once a noble and 
handsome man. O, Mormonism, Mormonism, foul 
gospel of night and sin ! 

Lee, You had better keep still. 

Mrs. L. Gospel of dirt and lust and blood. I will 
speak, it makes monsters and beasts of men, and 
creeping slaves and animals of women. O, my 
poor sisters, O,. you poor, poor, poor things, why did 
you come here ? God pity you, why didn't some 



TUE VICTIMS OF OVE WESTERN TUIIKS. 157 

good angel warn you ? This false guide, this de- 
ceiver and decoj^er, told you, I suppose, that women are 
happiest here. They preach that in the Tabernacle, 
I know. O, I tell you, if all the torn, crushed and 
broken hearts of women in Utah could speak as they 
feel, theu^ cry of agony and despair would rend the 
lieavens and shake the earth and fill the whole 
United States with such horror that the poor, foolish, 
deceived women that are swarming here would turn 
and fl}' to the cannibals of the ocean or the wild 
beasts of the desert, rather than come to this vile 
Zion of hell. 

L, If you don't shut up 

3Irs, L. I'm not afraid of you. What more can 
you do than you have already done ? You may kill 
me, but not until then can you shackle my tongue. 
You may not like to have your sheep's clothing 
torn from 3'ou, and in front of your proselytes, so that 
they can see you as the wolf tliat you are, but I will 
do it now. I have kept quiet these many years, but 
now I will speak, no matter what becomes of me. 
I have sav^ed one poor, sweet girL I have beat you 
out of this victim. 

L. And I'll beat you out of your skin for it. 
Here \_striking her] take this, you damned witch. 

Mrs. Z. O, God forgive him, that is the last touch 
from him. [^Rushes out, 

Mrs. Gr, O, Brother Lee, how could you in my 

weak condition 

Enter James. 

Jas. What is the matter here ? 

Biddy, Bad scran to 'im, the bastely bosthoon, to 
bate the pore woman in the face loike a prize-fighter. 



158 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

Jas. What I Did lie strike that woman ? 

Biddy, Shure he did, the coward an' it's his thrue 
wife. 

Jas. [kicJclnc/ him'] Dog, get out of here! 

L. You'll pay for this. 

Jas. Get out or you'll get more. [Exit Lee.] 
What is the scoundrel doing here? Where is 
Evelyn, Biddy ? 

31rs, Gr. She has gone on a slight errand for me. 

Jas. I am very sorry. Will she come back soon ? 

31rs,Gr. I am very glad she is not here to witness 
these brutal performances. It is hard enough forme 
in addition to my misery. 

Jas. Ah, I suppose so, but I came to tell you that 
we Ijave resolved to leave to-night. 

3frs. Gr. Indeed ? I have expected this, as the 
end of all this disgraceful, impenitent course. Well, 
Evelyn may go if she chooses, and no doubt she will 
choose to go, even forsaking her ill mother, but I 
Avill not leave, sir. 

Jas. I hope you will change your mind, dear Mrs. 
Gray. We are in imminent periL The Mormon 
priesthood have preached a crusade of proscription 
and destruction against all non-believers. We were 
in the Tabernacle just now and heard it. I know 
from previous cases that they literally mean it. We 
have bought horses and provisions and made arrange- 
ments for leaving to-night — to-morrow it may be too 
late. 

Mrs. Gr. It is never too late to repent. Evelyn 
need not flee if she faithfully professes her God and 
her religion. As for its revilers, it is no wonder that 
fear and trembling should seize them at last. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TUBES. 159 

Jas. No man should dare to say so, but I will not 
quarrel with you. Why not be just and candid, if 
not kind, Mrs. Gray ? You know that Mormonism is 
not Evelyn's religion, that it never was, and never 
will be. You know, too, that she has turned from it 
in disgust and abhorrence, after witnessing its insti- 
tutions here. I have never by one word influenced 
her decision. I could have prevented her com- 
ing here, but for your sake I acquiesced. But now 
she must be taken away. If you still persist in 
adhering: to this relio^ion of blood and dirt — 

Biddy. Mavrone, thim is the very wurrds that pore 
woman spake. 

Unter Robekt. 

Bob. Here are sad doings going on. 

Jas, What ! Are the Danites already at work ? 

Bob. No, 

*' One more unfortunate, weary of breath,, 
Kashly importunate, gone to her death.' 

While I was passing they fished a poor woman out 
of the city creek, amid the rude jokes and laughter 
of a crowd of saints, among whom our venerable 
friend, the Satan bishop wa^ tb.e most gleefuL 

Biddy. Wurrah, wurrah, it was his own wife, a 
bon choir. She saidshe would do it. She wint right 
from here and done it. O, the poor craythur ! 

Jas. Was it an elderly, gray-haired woman with a 
black dress on ? 

Bob. Exactly so. And now it recurs to me that 
the other saints rallied the bishop, and he laughed and 
swoi'e he was glad that she was gone. 

Jas. I'm afraid it's the case. I drove him out of 
here a few minutes ago after he had struck her 



IGO EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

It is dreadful. I wish Evelyn were here ? Where 
is Larry? 

Biddy. The divil may tell, a boozin' in the she- 
been, share. 

Jas, We will look for him and send him hei'e to 
help you to get read3\ Tell Miss Evelyn about it 
when she returns. Mrs. Gray, I hope you will re- 
consider your purpose and flee with us. 
[^Exeunt Rob and J as]. 

Mrs. Gr. O, it is all too much, I will faint. 



SCENE Y.— Office of Brigham Youxg. Brigham 
Young and Daniel H. Wells. 

Young. You say it is a big train ? 

Wells, About a hundred and tlarty in all, and a 
mighty fine train it is, good horses and wagons, and 
several fine carriages for the ladies. 

Y, Carriages? 

W. Yes, indeed, regular high-flyers. Beat your 
celestrial prairie schooners all to smash, 

Y, Are there any pretty women among the ladies 
as you call them ? 

W, O, I don't know, I'm not a ladies' man like you. 

Y. Where do they come from and where are they 
going to? 

W. To Los Angelos, I believe, and most of them 
come from Arkansas. 

Y. From the state where brother Parley was 
martyred? The villains, it's mighty cheeky in them 
to come here. And they want to stop in Zion a 
week ? 

TF. Yes, they are short of provisions and tired out. 
What shall we do about them? 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TUBES, 161 

Y, You can sell them all the provisions they want 
out of our store, but make them pay double, d'ye 
hear ? But as for stopping here, that's preposterous. 
No more of that, I can tell you. There are too many 
Jack Mormons on the lookout for just such a passing 
train to hang on to and save their hides. No, indeed, 
after they've got their goods give them just three 
hours to move and tell them to get out of the territory 
as quick as they can and keep the whole business as 
quiet as possible. 

W. All right. 

Y. Hold on, another thing. I want you and Heber 
to pfet me the names of the fellows that have been 
selling provisions to the army at Camp Floyd. 

W. What for ? 

Y. To be hauled up. You may tell them so. I 
don't intend to have 'em used up if they are up to 
mark in other respects, but I want 'em to pay me a 
good commission, and I guess they'll be badly enough 
scai'ed to come and pay any sum for their skins. 

TF. By the way, liow much have you made by your 
dealings with the blue-coats ? 

Y. O, some score of thousnnds, and I'll make a few 
out of the pork and other truck they sold me w^hen 
they left. I got that at a bargain, I promise you. 

W, We'll have to haul you up then, too. 

Y, Yes, do. Ha, ha, ha ! Pecuniaril}^ I'm sorry 
the damned rascals are gone. But hurry up, now, and 
attend to that emigrant train. [JExit Wells]. 

Enter a Mormon. 

Mormon. Good-morning, Brother Brigham. 
Y. Well, sir. 

11 



162 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

3L I have come to present that bill. I have been 
here three times but your clerk put me off every time. 

r. What bill ? 

M. For putting up those five miles of telegraph 
poles. 

Y, And you expect me to pay you ? 

M. Yes, sir, if you please. The contract as you 
sublet it out to me, has been a mighty losing job. 
It has taken money out of my pocket and beside, I 
have had to borrow money to pa}^ the hands. 

Y, I can't pay you. 

M, Can't pay me ? 

Y. I am not going to pay you, if that suits you 
better. 

M. Why not, Mr. President ? 

Y. Why not? Let me see. O, yes, the railroad 
company have condemned half of the posts. One of 
the engineers was in here the other day and raised a 
hell of a row, said you took bad timber, the first 
snowstorm would blow them over, and what not. 
The blamed thieving Gentiles won't pay me a cent. 

M. That can't be, I just came from their office and 
they told me that you had been paid in full for the 
whole line. 

Y. You have been at their office, eh? What bus- 
iness have you to go to the office of a damned intrud- 
ing Gentile company, the worst enemies we have ? 
I wish I could run their railroad into hell. And you 
a Mormon, hobnobbing and conspiring with them to 
get money out of me ? You sneak thief, you don't 
get a cent. And, listen, were you in the Tabernacle 
to-day ? 

M. N— No. I wanted to 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS, 163 

Y. Aha ! Of course you did, but you had to go to 
see your Gentile friends. Well, for j^our benefit, I'll 
repeat what I told them there, that such doings 
would be atoned for by blood. Understand, I'll 
leave you off this time, but don't you dare to go 
there again. 

M, ril never qo there a^in. I didn't know anv 
better. Don't ruin me. Brother Brigliam. I'd just 
as leave be killed as ruined. If you don't pay me, 
I'm a ruined man. Have pity on me. I've got four 
wives' and fifteen children. 

Y. I've got nineteen wives and some sixty odd chil- 
dren, I believe. Why the dickens do you marry so 
much? 

M, You told me to, brother Brigham. 

Y. Well, I tell you now to get out of here and 
never come back with a bill or I'll send you a dread- 
ful big Bill, whose last name is Hickman. 

\^Exit Mormon.'] 

Ha, ha. That bugbear makes them fly. Confound 
these infernal railroads. Though I've made a hand- 
some penny out of them, I'd give ten thousand dollars 
if I could have them blown into flinters. O, I'm afraid 
their plagued tooting will be a note of doom to us. 

IMiter Lucy Ra^vdox.] 

Hello, my fair Judith, have j^ou returned with the 
head of Holofernes in your lap ? 

i. No, sir, I had it there, but neither he nor I was 
Mormon enough to keep it there. 

Y, How so, cony catcher ? 

i. I wasn't bloody enough to cut it off, and he 
wasn't drunk enough to let me do it. 



164 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

Y, And so he got away without losing his head. 

i. No, he went away in consequence of losing his 
head. 

Y, Well, he made up in his heels what he lacked 
in his head. They say he just scooted out like a deer. 

Jv. The poor dear ! 

Y. Yes, it was cruel to scare him away, but he 
might have stayed and married you, the fool ! 

L. Then he would have been a fool, indeed. 

Y. I don't know, but I never saw a fellow taken 
in so soon and so completely. Why, he just jumped 
at the bait. He must have been terribly hard up. 

L, He is only an old bachelor and has no nine- 
teen wives, and then you didn't expect him to resist 
very long when j'-ou sent me. 

Y. No, indeed, you little witch. He must be 
more than 

L, More than a Mormon prophet. 

y. Yes, I do flatter myself with having some taste 
for the beautiful. 

X. Ah, indeed ! That is the reason, I suppose, why 
you go prowling about outside of your harem, for 
such a gallery of celestial scarecrows as you have in 
it is nowhere else to be found. 

Y. By and by I'll get more beauty into it, Lucy. 
I'm on the lookout now. 

L. Yes, I heard of a beautiful English girl here 
that you are looking out for. 

Y. You heard, where ? How ? Say ! 

L. O, don't get excited, I will not betray you to 
Madam Amelia. You are too clumsily rustic and 
grizzly for the gay Lothario. You betray your amours 
yourself by your bovine grimaces. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTEBN TUBES. 165 

Y. O, is that all? Tell me now, you wicked 
Delilah, how you entrapped this judicial Sampson. 

L. Ah, look at his goatish countenance. You had 
better give up the priest and prophet business and 
come on the stage. Ill hire you for the satyr the 
next time we play a Greek pastoral. 

Y. No. I have enough of my family on the stage. 
Won't you tell me now ? 

L. I should think not. O God, O God ! 

r. What ! Do you want to tell him ? He'll not 
be as much edified as I. 

L. \_Orying'\. O, God have mercy on me ! 

Y, In the name of the devil, what is the matter 
now ? 

L. O God, how low have I fallen ! I am too vile. 
It is not enough that I must do the devil's bidding 
and lure a man to sinful purpose, but I must come 
and amuse the blunted heart of my grinning em- 
ployer with the shameful description. O, ic is too, 
too degrading, but it is my own fault. 

Y. Well, I never will understand women. 

L, No, you brute, you never can. You look on 
them only as hand-maids to your low pleasure not as 
beings sent to ennoble and elevate you. 

Y. Ha, ha I I should think not. But what have 
I done, you silly prude ? Did I have any love affair 
with Judge Letcher ? 

L. You ! As if anybody could fall in love with you ! 
Ha, ha, ha ! O, why did I do it, I did not mean any 
harm, I did it in fun to carry out a frivolous wager. 

Y, It was a good joke all around, and the biggest 
part of the jok« was old Letcher absconding lik^ a 
dog with his tail between his legs. 



166 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

L, Dear me, that is just the dreadful thing about 
it ; because he was the only faithful watch-dog Uncle 
Sam had out liere by his pig-sty to watch his grunt- 
ing swine. O, I have driven the last guard away. 

Y. You are mighty right there, my honey,— we are 
rid of the last one, and now well have it all our own 
way. We're going to make a clean overhauling in 
our own camp, and we won't stand any of their 
interference forever. 

L, Don't crow too soon, Brother Braggadocio. 
The American eagle is a wonderfully good-natured 
bird, and will wink at a good deal, but if you worry 
him too much he is terrible. He has sharp talons 
and when he once moves he will swoop down on you 
and tear your Mormon carrion all to pieces. 

Y. Would to God I could wring his neck ! 

L. I hope he will claw yours for saying so. 

Y, Well, I must say you are a model Mormon, but 
your services in the Letcher business atone for a good 
deal. Yet, you had better shut down on that kind of 
talk. 

L. If my services were so valuable, you must be 
anxious to settle about the compensation. 

Y, What compensation ? 

L, The four thousand dollars. 

y. Hem ! I don't remember exactly, and then you 
refuse to tell me what took place, so I can't tell 
whether you really earned the reward. 

L. You just now acknowledged my services, but I 
knew you would cheat me out of it. That is the 
devil's mode. 

Y. Tell me about it, and I'll pay you. 

L, O, mercy, there is that monkeyish grin again. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 167 

T. Why won't you tell me ? 

L. There is nothing to tell. Nothing improper 
occurred. So you wouldn't be satisfied anyhow ? 

Y. Then 3^0 u won't do it ? 

L. \_Risinff.^ Not for ten thousand dollars. I don't 
want a cent of the Judas' reward. I don't want any- 
thing from you any more. I will never play in your 
stupid theatre again. I am done with Brigham 
Young and Mormonism forever. I am going away. 
There. 

Y. If you try it you are a dead woman. You have 
deserved death, anyhow. If you are not at the 
theatre to-morrow morning it will be your last day 
on earth. Go now. 

L. Ah, you brute ! [JErz^.] 

Y. She must go at all events. She knows too much, 
and she can't hold her tongue. I will have her 
attended to the first thing m the morning. [^JVoise 
without.'] There is that drunken Bill Hickman out- 
side. I hear his bullish voice. He has come to get 
his pay for Back's killing, but I'll not pay any more 
for taking off people. I can get enough such work 
done gratis now. 

JEnter Tom. 

Tom. Mass Briggum, Mass Bill Hickman am out- 
side an' want 

Y. Tell him I'm not at home. 

Tom. He said he knowed you wuz in, caze he dun 
seed you. 

Y. How the devil could he see me ? Why didn't 
you tell him I'm busy, you black scamp. 

Tom. I done tole him so, but he don't believe me 
nohow» He said you ain't too busy fur to see de ladies 



168 EVEL YN GBA T ; OB, 

an' he want to make love to you too. He am a swear- 
in' awful. 

Y. I won't see the drunken beast. Get out with 
you and mind if you let any more such people in the 
house, I'll make you suffer for it. [Uxit Tom.] 

Now if I could marry that madcap Lucy to this 
bloody hog, Hickman, that would be better than killing 
them. Between lier sharp tongue and his bowie-knife, 
they'd murder each other before long. 

He-enter Tom. 
— Well, what is the matter now, you rascal ? Isn't he 
gone? 

Tom. Yes sah. Dar's a young lady dar now, axin 
fur Mr. Young. 

Y. Who is she ? 

Tom. It am de young lady from Mass Cannon's. 
She says her name am Miss Gray, and she wanted to 
see you pertickler. 

Y. Tell her to come in. [^JExit Tom.] 

It has fetched her already. Beautiful ! Splendid ! 
Now for the first charge on the virgin citadel. Steady 
now, Brigham, you've never stalked such noble game 
You're too eager. Cool and steady. Ha ! 
Unter Evelyn. 

Eve, Good-afternoon, sir. 

Y. Good-afternoon. Ah, it is Miss Gray. How 
you do ? How is your mother ? 

Uve. I have come in her behalf and at her request. 
She is ill and cannot remain in the wretched quarters 
we occupy. 

Y. Well. 

Uve. Therefore she asks that you will please return 



THE VICTIMS OF QUE WESTERN TUBES. 169 

her the sum of money which my parents gave to Mr. 
Lee or, at least, provide her a better house for the 
present. 

r. What sum ? 

Uve. The sum of one hundred and twenty thousand 
dollars. 

F. Upon my word, a fine demand. 
■ K Sir! 

Y. Do you know that I cannot entertain your 
request ? 

U. Why not? 

Y. Because I never received the money. 

U, It was delivered to Mr. Lee for you. He gave 
my fatlier a note for the amount in your name. 

Y. Preposterous ! He did give me some money 
from your father, but as a donation to the Churcli. 
It was not nearly as large a sum as you name, how- 
ever. A good many wealthy saints make such pres- 
ents to the Church. Yes, some give their entire 
property, just as the early Christians in Jerusalem 
sold their possessions and laid the money down at 
the feet of the apostles. 

U, My father intended this as a loan, not as a gift. 
As such Mr. Lee received and acknowledged it in 
this note. 

F. I am not responsible for John Lee's doings. 
Will you let me see the note. [Evelyn hands him 
the note,] [Beading it.^ Do you know that this is 
of no value at all? It does not bind John Lee 
because he promises nothing for himself, and it does 
not bind me because it lacks my signature. 

JE. I am aware of that. I cannot understand how 
my father allowed himself to be deceived so, he 



170 EVELYN GBAY; OR, 

was such a strict man of affairs. I can only explain 
it by his unquestioning confidence in Mr. Lee's honor 
and yours. I perceive he has misplaced his con- 
fidence. I will go and tell my mother that she has 
been defrauded by the dignitaries of the Mormon 
Church. Good-afternoon, sir. 

Y. Hold, don't be so quick. That is rather strong 
language. You are acting all wrong in this matter, 
Evelyn. You come here defiant and peremptory and 
suspicious. Have I deserved this ? Have I not 
shown myself your friend? Why do you not come 
in a friendlier, kindlier way, as becomes a faithful 
Mormon girl. 

U, I beg your pardon, sir, I am no Mormon. 

Y. Ah, yes, I know. That will all come right. 
Listen, Evelyn, I will give you the sum you ask, on 
one condition — if you will — if you will — marry me. 

U. Marry you ? How dare you ? Leave go my 
hand, sir. 

Y. Hold on, where are you going? You shall not 
go ! Do you think I will let you go to your Gentile 
lover ? 

JE. I will not tell him of this insulting proposal. 
Please let me out. 

Y. Will you think this matter over ? Will you 
promise that? 

U. Never, never. Let me go to my mother. 

Y. No, indeed. You have fallen under the penalty 
of the Church by your apostasy. You must stay here. 
By all the heavens I will never let you go. It would 
be your death. \_Ringin(/,'] 

[JEnter ToM.] 

I am not such a fool. Here Tom, help me take the 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR }VE STERN TURKS. 171 

young lady to the prison room. You must go there, 
Evelyn. If you make a fuss I will call four men in 
who will drag you there. Take hold of her other 
arm, Tom, while I take tliis. 

U. Do not touch me. I will not resist. 

[^JExeunt.^ 



172 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 



ACT IV. 

SCENE I. — Distiller 1/ bar-room. Bar and Tables. 
On the Wall the sign : '' Zion'^s Co-operative Distil- 
lery. Holiness to the Lord^'^ around the All- 
Seeing Eye. 

Bill Hickman, Pobter Rockwell, Ike Hatch, 
Eph. Hanks, Robt. T. Burton. — Seated at a 
table^ drinJcing. 

Hanks. Wot's the matter with this here whiskey 
now, ennyway ? 'Tain't got no kinder taste about it 
no more. Durned if I wouldn't jess az lief drink 
likerish water. 

Hick. I tell you wot's the matter with it, it's got 
too much holy-water in it. 

Hanks. Wy wot yer mean. Hick ? 

Hick. Wot I say. Too much o' Briggum's holy 
water. Sence that there picter o' the bull's eye an' that 
there Sunday school werse is up there, the whiskey 
ain't fit fur no cow ter drink. Holiness to the Lord's 
a good enuff thing in a church or a Tabernacle but 
it hain't got no bizzness in a bar-room. It's got a 
mighty depressin' effect on wliiskey. 

Bock. Why shed it, Brother Bill ? 

Hick. 'Cause it does, damn it. Sence Bradley and 
Mooney's out o' this yere consarn, an' Briggum 
Young's runnin' it, the whiskey they turn out o' theii: 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 173 

durned still's no better'n slops, and it's jess Brig- 
gum's ole stinginess an' greediness that's done it. 

Hanks. Wj', where the hell is Bradley and Mooney 
anyway ? 

Hick. Doncher know ? Sent on a meeshonery 
tower. 

Hanks. No ! 

Hick. Course. Briggum seen as they was doin' a 
good bizniss an' makin' a few dollars, an', of course, 
he couldn't stan' that. So he jess goes an' sends one 
on 'em off to England an' 'tother to the south on a 
two year mishonerry trip, 'an then he comes along 
'an claps his cock-eyed sign on the shebang 'an now 
it's : " All Saints Holy Zion's Co-operative distillery " 
or sloppery, w'ichever ye like. 

Hanks. An' now all the saints has got to take their 
bitters here ? 

Rock. Of course, Brother Ephraim, they orter do 
it fur the sake of the Church. 

Hick. I knows one ole saint as don't git his'n 
here. 

Hock. Who's that, Brother Bill? Tain't you, I 
hope. 

Hick, Me ? I git my whiskey where I durn choose 
ef anybody sliould ask you, but I mean ole Briggum 
hisself. You go to his office when he wants some 
partikler job out o' you, an' you'll git a tongue full o' 
whiskey that never seen this place, I kin tell ye. 

Hatch. T think that's wot ye call damn mean. 

Hick. Mean ain't the word. He'sareg'lar nigger. 
Wen thurs any work that he's got to hev ye fur, 
he'll stick ez close to yer ez a tick, an' be as friendly 
an' full o' promises ez a lover or a lightnin' rod man, 



174 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

but w'en 3-011 ve gone an done the work, he shets right 
up like oyster, or lie even goes and shets the dore on 
you's if he didn't know you t'all. That's the way he 
done me a w'ile go. Darn ef I ain't gittin' tired on it. 

Hatch. So'm I, Bill It's a ongrateful world. He 
orter stan' by us better'n that. It's a easy enuff thing 
fur him to git us ter go on takin' off people. Won- 
der who has to risk ther neck in the bizzness though. 
Not he. He keeps hisself on the safe side, you kin 
bet. But I'm afeared this thing won't go on so slick 
fur ever. Uncle Sam'll get the grip on us some day 

Hanks, Blow Uncle Sam ! I ain't a feared o' him 
I'd jess as lieve blow him inter hell'z not. 

Hick. Wen it comes to blowin' you kin take up 
with the Old Sci'atch hisself. But bio win don't kill 
nobody. I ain't afeared o ' Uncle Sam, nuther. Do 
you know how many people I done laid out? Forty- 
three ! W'ich on o' ye kin beat thet ? 

Burt, Nobody can, Bill, and nobody wants to dis- 
pute your pre-eminence. You are the king of the 
Danites, and I don't see what you gentlemen should 
be growling for. Just because the whiskey isn't 
strong enough for your manly taste? For shame ! 
We don't live to drink whiskey, we have a higher pur- 
l)ose of existence. We live to do the behests of the 
Piophet. We live to preserve the Church by taking 
off the infidels and the enemies. We've had dull 
times for a while, but I tell you, boys, there'll be 
plenty of work now. Yes sirree, business is reviving. 
We'll just have a boom soon. It'll be as lively as 
those days when we cleaned out the Morrisites. 

Rock, How was that there job anyway? I never 
heard ye tell that yerself. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 175 

Burt. Well, you know, old Morris up at Weber 
had set himself up as a prophet, longside of Brother 
Brigham and was doing business on his own hook. 
Brigham laughed at the matter at first, but by-and-by 
Bishop Cook and a lot of others went over to him 
and finally there were about five hundred in all, and 
just as game as gobblers. Well, the spring man- 
euvers of the Nauvoo Legion came around, and they 
refused to drill. They were fined, of course, but 
refused to pay the fines. Then the music began. I 
was sheriff of Salt Lake then. Brigham ordered out 
the Legion and put it under my command. Judge 
Kinnej^ though a Gentile, was right on our side and 
issued writs of arrest for Morris and his head men. 
We started out in fine trim and on the way, at Ogden, 
Kaysville and Farmington others joined till, when we 
got to Weber, I had a thousand well-armed men with 
four pieces of artillery. We captured their herd. 
You know they had their cattle and everything else 
common. And then we surrounded their fort and 
called on 'em to surrender, but there was no surrender 
in them. Their camp was on a little knoll in the hollow 
of the Weber about a mile from Uintah. It wasn't 
much of a fort, of course : a few willow houses, woven 
together and plastered and covered by wagons and 
a few rough fortifications. Morris, the old fool, had put 
on his priestly robe and, taking his divining rod was 
waiting for a revelation, but no revelation came 
Well we shelled that crazy fort for three days and just 
tore everj^thing to pieces before they gave in ; and then 
it wasn't Morris that hoisted the white flag, but one of 
his men. Well, when they threw down their arms, 
we rode in. I was mad, I can tell you. I didn't 



176 EVELYN GRAY; 01?, 

know the old fanatic, but Judge Stoddard Wcis beside 
me and pointed him out to me. I rode up to him 
and said, '• Surrender in the name of the Lord ! " 
He hollered out, '' No, never, never! "and said lie 
wanted to speak to the people. I told him to be 
damned quick about it. He commenced saying 
'' Brethren, I have taught you true principles — " He 
just got that far when I cut him short with a ball in 
his throat. When he fell I gave him anotlier, and said 
to the people, "- There's your prophet ; what do you 
think of your prophet now!" Then I turned and 
keeled his man Banks over. A woman came running 
up hollering: " O, you bloodthirsty wretch!" She 
got the fourth cartridge and another woman that came 
up blubbering to Morris, got the fifth, and it was 
lucky for the others that the last chamber of my six 
shooter was empty. 

MocJc. Wot ever became of the other wicked apos- 
tates ? 

Bur, Why, they would have been badly dealt with, 
because Judge Kinney just did what Brother Brig- 
ham told him to, but Governor Harding, the arch 
Gentile, came about that time, and General Cannon 
with his two regiments of California volunteers 
established Camp Douglass and a petition was signed 
for their pardon, and the Governor pardoned 'em and 
helped 'em to get away to Idaho. They say some 
Mormons even signed that petition. 

Hanks, Tliey did? Blow my heart, if I wouldn't 
shoot all blazes into 'em, if I knowed who they waz. 

ITicJc, You would, you gas-pipe ? I'll tell you one 
ov 'em. And he rode thirty miles one muddy night 
and got the Governor outen his bed fur to sign it, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 177 

an' his name is writ clear crost that ere paper in sich 
biir letters that vou kin read it a riclin' ])ast on horse- 
back, an' that name is pnrty well known in Mormon- 
dom— for it's Bill Hickman. Now, why don't you 
shoot, Ep]]. Hanks? 

Hanks. V/all — that there's another thing. 

Hick. No, 'tain't, you durned blowhaid, it's only a 
other feller. 

Burton. Well, boys, don't quarrel. That's past 
now, and if Brother Brigham is satisfied, it is none of 
our business. Come, let us have some more whiskey. 
I suppose by drinking enough of this slop, as Bill 
calls it, you can get some whiskey out of it. Let's 
be jolly and gay and warm our hearts for the lively 
work that is in store for us. I wonder where Art 
Hinckley is. 

Hock. Don't yer know. Brother Bob ? He's gone 
up to Provo with a few of the boys to look after a 
lukewarm saint. 

Burton. Art is a clever fellow and a steady hand, 
but he is subject to fits of melancholy or the soft§, as 
I call them. 

Bock. Bad things to have, and won't do at all for 
us fellers. 

Burt. Not a bit. I'm afraid Ike here gets these 
fits too. Don't give way to 'em, Ike. It's a disease 
that mostly terminates fatally. A Danite has no 
business with feelinofs and such trash. 

Hank. I should think not, blow my buttons ! I 
a'int tit:)ubled that way. , On the contrary, the harder 
they squeal and the harder they begs, the more fun 
it's fur me. Holy Joseph, you reck'leck wen we 

12 



178 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

rubbed out thet emigrent train in Humbolt kenyon, 
Port ? 

Mock. Yes I do, Brother Ephriam, but I don't take 
no pride in my humble work. I always gives the 
glory to the Lord, brethring. 

Hick. Wall, sence Saint Porter's too meek an' mum- 
ble to talk, sposenyou relieve him, brother blowbelly, 
bein's as you ain't hendered by no sich weakniss? 

Hanks. I must say. Bill, as you're confounded 
crusty to-day. But I was goin' to say ther was some 
tall squeelin' thar — tliar war some tall fun too, you 
kin jess bet. It were a fine train an' the men would a 
fit game till the las', but it wa'nt no use, we had 'em 
in a ambrush. 

Burt. Ambush, you mean, Eph. 

Hanks. Wall, we had 'ena in a bush, an' then we 
give 'em a brush, so I don't care a damn w'ich is ko- 
reck. I war hidden with my men behind some bushes 
on a ledge inside the kenyon w'ile Port an' the rest o' 
the boys was waitin' in the ravine outside. We was 
layin' on our bellies for a long time with our rifles 
cocked, w'en at las' we herd the waggins come a rum- 
blin' in. Them fellers was jess as gay ez birds, an' 
didn't suspicion nothin' — They wuz even singin' 
an' I min' the words of the song yit, they sung so 
loud an' everything was so still. It were somethin' 
about promised land, an' thur gittin' thur, an' the 
wimmin in the waggins alius joined in the chorus. 
When the foremost ones cum up opposite us, an' wer 
just givin' '" promise Ian' " full swing, whack, whack ! 
went our rifles an' down went about ten ov 'em. 
Waal, the rest, w'en they seen as they couldn't git — to 
us, jist turned an' skeedadled fur the openin' ov the 



THE VICTIMS OF QUE WESTERN TVBKS. ]79 

kenyon, but just w'en they got thur up comes Port 
with his party an' picks 'em off from the side. They 
couldn't see Portfromthe outside, and they couldn't 
see me up on the rocks. They were afeered to ven- 
ture out an' afeered to go on through the kenyon. 
Thar they was like a parcel o' rats in a trap, an' so 
w'ile Port's people make a hell of a racket an' rumpus 
outside an' pick off them as sticks thur noses out, 
we pepper 'em like lightnin' from above, an' jess 
clean 'em out like a herd o' buffllers in a pitfall. Waar, 
arter we sent all the men inter " promise Ian' " we 
clum down to the waggins fur to git acquainted with 
the sweet chorus singers. The wimmen was mostly 
layin' down in the waggin beds durin' the shootin' 
an' when we hunted 'em out thar an' invited 'em to 
giv us another roun' o' " promise lanV' you jess orter 
heerd the squeelin' an' the prayin'. Jerusalem, if it 
didn't beat a Methodis' Camp Meetin'! Wall, the 
poor things wuz so flustrated that we wuz 'bliged to 
make love to 'em awile, jess to quiet thur feelin's, 
you know, ha, ha, ha ! afore we could send 'em arter 
the men to jine the chorus in the Promise Lan'. 
That wur tiptop fun, cuz thur wur some lusty gals 
'mongst 'em. Wazn't they, Port? 

Burt. Hell fire ! why didn't you take me along 
there ? 

Hick. An' you think that wur a fine job, do you? 

Hanlcs. Waal, I rather reckon it war. Clean work 
and no softs on. 

Hick. No wonder this holy indiwidgle war ashamed 
to brag about it. A nice pair o' low-down, onery 
cowards you air. Wen it cums to mistreatin' and 
murderin' wimmin, ur w'en you kin shoot people 



180 EVFLYN GRAY; OB, 

from behiii' rocks or bushes you're mighty brave, but 
w'en you're got to stan' up au' fight men, fair an' 
square, w'er are you then ? 

Hock. I think, brother William, that T have, with 
the Lord's help, stood up agin men an' perwailed 
aginst 'em. 

HlcJc. A nice piece o' bunglin' you make ov it. 
You hain't forgot that Aiken party bizness, have yon? 
By your snivellin' sneakin ways you git Brigham to 
trust 3^ou with big jobs an' then you go an' botch 'em. 
And w'ile other people has to cum en' fix up your 
bunglin', you sneak back to Brigliam an' steal the 
credit by your damned sankeymonious palaver. 

Rock, I don't purtend to be as good a shot az some 
other brethring, but mj^ faith an' zeal, I guess, is 
pretty well known, an' if the prophet wants ter use 
his humble wessel fur a destroyin' angel, w'y shed 
you git mad ? 

Kick, Consarn your ugly picters ! a sweet lookin' 
angel j^ou air. Your beauty is morekillin' nor your 
buUits. Guess I'll tell Brigham w'en he has enny 
subjecks fur ter deal with, jess to show 'em j'our 
celestial face an' let you shoot 'em with your charm- 
in' looks. 

Rock. Waal, as long as he honors his unworthy 
follj^er with his confidence, I kin stand envyin' an' 
rewilin'. 

Sick. Durned little more confidence he'll honor 
you with, my purty sweetheart. You'll do fur little 
jobs, thet's wot he tole me liisself. 

Rock. That must be a mistake, 'cause I've got a 
rayther big job o' his'n on han' now. 

Hick. The hell you hev ! Wots that? 



THE VICTIMS OF ouh western TUEKS. 181 

Roeh. O, mebby 'tain't such a big job, ennyway. 
It's only them two young gents at the Gentile hotel, 
Nori'is an' Sinclair an' thur party. I've got orders 
to shadow 'em. I know as they air goin' to start fur 
Denver to-night, an' I'll be ready fur 'em at Weber 
kenyon'. 

Burton. Isn't one of them the lover of that pretty 
English girl? 

Rock, Yes, an' she's got to be fetched back 'live. 
Brotlier Briggum's dead set on that. 

Hariks. I don't like no sich jobs ez that. They're 
too mean fur a Danite. I think the spoils, the fun 
an' the feastin' orter cum to us. I don't wanter 
be no doggoned woman runner or gal ketcher fur no 
damned bishup, nor no profits nuther. If they're 
hankerin' fur fresh meat on their tables, durn thur 
greedy hearts, let 'm forridge fur it theirselves. 

Hick. An' he give you this here job? 

Rock. I have the honor. 

Hick. Waal, you aint goin' ter do it. 

Rock. Ain't goin' to ? W'y not ? Wot's goin' to 
bender me? 

Hick. I am. 

Rock. You! Wot'llyoudo? 

Hick. I'll go with them people to Weber kenyon 
to-iiio'ht. 

Rock, Waal, I'll have to see Brother Briggum 
about that. 

Hick. You an' Brother Briggum kin go to the 
hippidegrass. 

Burton. O, O, Bill, take care ! 

Hick. Take the devil ! I ain't afeered o' Brother 
Briggum. Briggum Young is a dirty liar. He swore 



182 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

he would give no more sich jobs to this here cantin' 
coward. 

Boch, Mebbe, you'll fin' out I ain't sich a coward 
arter all. 

Hick. V/ot, you wanter to bully me ! If you don't 
shet up I'll make rags outer your blarsted hide. 

Rock, You air doin' the bullyin,' an'durn if I ain't 
gittin' tired on' it. 

Hick. You air, airy ou ? You low-lived, long-haired, 
lousy coon, you ! Come on, then, I'll give you some- 
thin' fur 3^er tiredness. [^Draivi^ig his pistol.'] 

Hock. Darned if you do. \^Draiving also.] 

Burton. Hold on, boys. This will never do. For 
shame, aren't there plenty Gentiles to shoot? Here, 
Ike, help me take Bill off, and you, Eph, take Port 
out the other way. Hurry up. 

[^Exeunt.] 

Enter Larry, /rom a hidiyig-place. 

Larry. Whisht ! Is the bloody blaggards gone 
indade ? Faix, an' I'd loike to give the gintlemin cut- 
throat a kelp wi' the shelalah fur reddin' thini two 
divilswhin the howly Mither hed them so near shoot- 
in' of wan anither. Murther sheery ! our parthy is 
goin' to lave to-night, an' thim dirty blood-houn's 
o' the world is set on our thracks. It's lucky, it is, I 
goes to the shebeen wanst in a while, an' it's toime I'd 
be afther tellin' the plisant news. 

lExit.] 



TEE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 183 

SCENE II.— Stkeet in Salt Lake City. 
James and Robert. 

Jas. I wonder where Evelyn can have gone ? Mrs. 
Gray seemed very eager to pass my question over. 

Roh. There can be nothing wrong or Biddy would 
have reported. 

Jas. That is true. That woman is a rare gem, 
of the clearest Irish water. 

Roh. But her bibulous husband is a still rarer, and 
he is for the strongest Irish water. I wonder in what 
groggery he is imbibing it now? 

Jas. It is very annoying that we can't find him. 

Roh. O, he'll drive himself meekly home to-night. 
Enter Lucy Rawdok. 

Lucy. Good-evening, gentlemen. Have I the 
honor of addressing Mr. St. Clair and Mr. Norris ? 

Roh. At your service, and quite delighted to find 
our names so noted here ? 

Lucy. I question whether that is so delightful. It 
were better your names were less noted. 

Jas. But how have we become so well known? I 
thought — 

Lucy. As for Mr. St. Clair, although he may have 
thought himself so well disguised by his beard, I 
recognized him at once when he came to the theatre. 
I used to deal in his store many a time, and wlio 
could mistake in your inquiring and inspiring gaze, 
sir, the renowned reporter? 

Roh. Ah, it seems, Miss Rawdon, that the Mormon 
Star is great, not only in being seen, but in seeing. 



184 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

It is a remarkable instance of female sagacity, re- 
mai'kable enough to be reported. 

Lucy. Yes, do report it; and report, too, that men 
are wofully witliout this gift. Otherwise you must 
have observed that the Mormon Pope has exhibited 
a more than ordinary interest in the young lady from 
England. 

Jas. Do you mean Evelyn — Miss Evelyn Gray ? 

Lucy, I believe that is her name. The lover of 
such a girl should guard her more jealously, espe- 
cially in Mormon land. 

Jas, Why, what is the matter? Who has dared? — 

Lucy. The absolute king of Utah knows no bounds 
to his daring. 

Jas, What in the world has happened ? For 
heaven's sake tell me. 

Lucy, Perhaps it is nothing, but I fear and suspect. 
I was in Brio^ham Young^'s house an hour asro — on 
coming out I met Miss Gray in the vestibule on her 
way in — 

Jas. Ha ! that was the mysterious errand. 

Lucy. I was aware of his sentiments toward her, 
and I know his desperate wickednes. I determined 
to warn the beautiful girl, and therefore waited an 
liour outside ; other persons have since gone in and 
come out, but she lias not yet left the house. 

Jas. It is the Lion House, is it not? 

Lucy. Yes, sir. 

Jas. I will get her out. [ Going.'] 

Hob. Hold, Jim, where are you going? 

Jas. Into this lion's den or devil's den. 

Hob. No, indeed. Keep cool and think a moment. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTERN TUBKS, 185 

If she is detained there by force, then her captor 
has certainly guarded her too well — 

Jas. If she is detained by force. If! If she is 
not. You are tearing open the caves of hell. If 
she is staying there of her own will — thousand 
damnations ! If her mother has been tampering 
with her heart and prevailed upon her to listen to 
this beast. Tell me, man, the black import of this 
doubt. To any other man I would knock his 
infernal if down his throat. 

Jas, Don't get theatrical, I simply meant to intro- 
duce an innocent, logical contingency. 

Jas. But do you suspect 

Rob. As far as her mother is concerned, yes. I 
believe she would marry Evelyn off to him and then 
marry him herself. As to Evelyn though — you are 
beside yourself to even imagine such a thing. But 
there are other conjectures ; perhaps the Prophet was 
not at leisure, or their business occupied some time, 
or he improved the opportunity by expounding the 
Mormon gospel to her. By the way. Miss Rawdon, 
who is that darkey lurking across the street ? He 
has been dodging around us like a beetle, and seems 
anxious now to turn out all the white he has in 
iiis eyes and his teeth. 

Lucij. O, that is Tom, the black servant of Brig- 
ham Young. He is friendly to us, I am sure. Come 
here, Tom. 

Enter Tom. 

Tom. O, Miss Lucy, kin yo tell me whah to find 
de folks ob de young lady dat you seed goiu' inter 
Mass' Brigham's ? 



186 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

Lucy, This gentleman is engaged to marry her, 
Mr. St. Clair ? 

Jas, Where is she, boy ? Speak. 

Tom. Fo' God's sake, Mass' Sinclair, don't talk 
dat loud, ur Mass' Briggum'll be slio to hear us, an' 
den good-bj^e to de young lady. Um ! I'se feared 
he'll cum dodgin' roun' de conah right Vay. I ain't 
kearin' fo myself, caze I know I'se a dead niggah 
enny way, but I wants to see de young lady saved. 

Jas, Saved? For God's sake tell me where she is. 

Tom, She is in de prison room. 

Jas, In the prison room ! 

Tom, Yessah, whar Mass' Briggum locks up de 
missuses when dey gits to scratchin' an' puUin har. 
He war makin' love to her an' axin' her fo' to marry 
him, an' caze she said no an' war gwine ter leave, he 
called me in, an' him an' me tuk her off in de prison 
room. 

Jas, Come along and show me where he is first. 
I'll solve this Mormon question for the United States. 
[Going, Robert holds him back.'] Let go. A whole 
army should not keep me from him. .0 God, I wish 
he had a score of lives, that I might kill him twenty 
times. Why, to bring her here and let her breathe 
the same air with him was pollution to her, and now 
the beast has touclied her, actually touched her, and 
talked love to her. O, O, my stupid weakness ! 

Boh, For a lover this " fine frenzy " is all very 
good, but as an officer and a man you should show 
more prudence and coolness. Go, if you must, but 
remember you will only ruin the one chance of saving 
Evelyn. 

Jas, For God's sake, for her sake tell me what to 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTEBN TURKS. 187 

do then. Help me, advise me, Bob. My head is all 
ill a whirl and a daze ; T can hardly grasp at a thought. 

Hob, The one chance, the one hope, is in getting 
her out by stealth to-night, and then flying together 
to Denver. 

Enter Larry. 

Larry. No, no, Misther Robert, not to Dinver. It's 
kilt an' murthered alive we'll all be like pigs at Weber's 
kinyon. The Danites is afther us. They's goin' to 
watch for us to-night, an' it's bloody work they'll 
make of ivery sowl on us. 

Rob. Where did you hear this ? 

L. In the shebeen. It's the howly thruth. I 
heard it from the bloody bastes thimselves. I was 
in the shebeen whin they came loafin' in, an' I hid 
meself behint the potheen barrels and heard all their 
palaver while they was boozin.' 

Rob. Hem ! this cuts off our escape in that direc- 
tion. 

Lucy. I know another. There's a large emigrant 
train encamped a few miles south of the city. They 
are on their way to Los Angelos, I heard it from 
Alice Young, the Mormon Prophet's very un-Mormon 
daughter. She is my friend and pupil. 

Rob. We are thankful for the information. It is 
our only hope. 

Lucy. I deserve no thanks. I am also among the 
proscribed and this is my only chance of escape. 

Rob. Indeed ? — Then I hope Providence will aid 
our combined efforts to save Miss Gray. 

Lucy. It may be done. Tom, is Mrs. Amelia at 
home ? 

Tom. No, ma'am, she am gwine in de country. 



188 EVEL YN on A Y; OTt, 

Lucy, Ah, the wily old fox ! I thought he couldn't 
have tried this while she was around. 

Roh. Where is the prison room ? 

Lucy, In the second story, looking out upon the 
gai'den. The windows are secured by iron bars on 
the outside. 

Roh, O, yes, I have observed them. The bars seem 
to be very thin. 

Lucy. No doubt some of Brigham's stinginess 
also. 

Roh, Has he anybody else to watch the young lady, 
Tom ? 

Tom, No, sah. It 'pears like he want ter keep it 
mighty quiet. Nobody don't know nuffin 'bout it. 

Roh, He has the key ? 

Tom, Shoh he hab, but he done tole me fur to git 
it 'bout supper time an' take her wittles in. 

Roh. I have it. See here, Tom, will you help to 
save the young lady ? 

Tom. Fore de Lord, dat I will, if it do cost dis chile 
his neck. De fuss minnit I seed de young lady, 
bress her purty soul, I sez to myself. Dat am your 
young Missis from ole Kaintuck, she am just dat 
purty and dat proud. An den I said to myself: Look 
hyah, niggah, if you don't help to git de young missis 
onten de claws ob dis ole Nebuchadsneezer you orter 
git shot sho'. Ugh, I specs dat's wot dej^'ll do wid 
me, ennyway. 

Roh. Don't be afraid. You shall flee with us. You 
are a noble fellow, and we shall never forget your 
kindness. Go now and get a strong file, a little can 
of oil and a ball of stout cord. Take them to her 
when you carry her supper in. Tell her to file one 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 189 

or two of the bars througli, using the oil freely. It 
may not be necessary to file them off both above and 
below. I think if they are loosened below they can 
be bent out of tlie way. At one o'clock to-night we 
will be in the garden with a rope ladder. The signal 
will be the clnrj)ing of a cricket three times. If she 
is ready then let her tie the file to the cord and lower 
it. We will tie the ladder to the cord, which she 
shall pull up and fasten to the lower filed off ends of 
the rods and then get out of the window and descend. 
Outside of the garden-wall our horses shall stand 
ready. Do you understand and remember it all ? 

Tom. Yes, sah. I'se gwine ter get the things 
ready right 'wa}'. 

Mob, Hold, if there should' be any obstacle, or if 
£.he has any answer to send, come and tell us. We 
will be walking before the hotel until half-past six. 
Hurry np now, for you haven't much time. 
[Uxit Tom]. 

La. Larry, you go and tell Biddy and Mrs. Gray. 
I will couie there later, and conduct them to the 
liotel. Miss Rawdon, where will you join us ? You 
must be our guide and counsellor. 

Liic^. I will come to the Gentile hotel during the 
evening. [^ A wagon with the dead body of a woman 
is driven ra'pidhj hy. Danites^ on horseback folloiv 
shouting and shooting off pistols. People hurriedly 
and tremblingly disperse.'] 

Rob, The bloody work has commenced. Three 
other murders have been done to-day. Away to 
work. j^Uxeunt,'] 



190 EVEL YN GEA Y ; OB, 

SCENE lU.—Hut. Mks. Gray a^std Biddy. 

Mrs. G-, Biddy, don't you think Evelyn ought to 
come soon? 

Biddy, Throth, it's the poshible she won't be 
afther comin' at all, at all. 

Mrs. Gr. What do you mean ? You frighten me. 

B. Agra, it's frightened an' skeert you should be, 
maam fur sindin' the angel to see the devil. 

Mrs. Gr. For shame, Biddy. You show the same 
wicked prejudice that these misguided young men 
have. 

B. Shure an' it's yourself that's misguided wid 
thrustin' thim lyin' prastes an' profits rayther thin 
thim young men as is your friends an' good men an' 
thrue. 

Mrs. Gr. I am sure he can intend no harm to her, 
He seems to regard her with so much favor. 

B. The megrim on his bastely favor, axin' yer 
pardon, ma'am. Is it the bastely, dirthy grab ov 
their blaggard boozin' profit you's afther preferrin' 
to tlie true lr)ve ov the dacint young man, as is the 
gintlemin all out ? Fhwat would ye make ov the 
colleen ? 

Mrs. Gr. The Prophet of God can never make an 
improper proposal to a lady ; and if my daughter en- 
gages his honorable affection, I shall be only too glad 
to see her saved from her sinful Gentile alliance. 

B. Bad scran to the owld pullpigimist ! An' I 
shuppose that was wan rayson, ye sint Miss Evelyn 
there. 

Mrs, Gr. I need not deny that was in my mind. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 191 

B. The poor darling, a-vilish. ! God forgive yer 
blindness! 

Unter Larry.. 

Hello, a-vehonce, has ye condescinded to show 
yerself agin. Fwhat megrim druv ye outen the she- 
been so soon ? 

Larry, Fwhat'll make us all lave this divil's howl 
quicker nor we come inter it, the Danites, bad cess 
to 'em. An' it's meself agin that has saved the howl 
parthy on us wid me goin' to the shebeen. 

B. Shadh, me bouchal, that sthory is too owld to 
blarney me wid agin. 

L, It's no bhirney this bout, Biddy ashtore. I 
wuz behin the poteen barrels whin two o' thim mur- 
therin' angels wuz goin' to fight, bekaze, they says, 
they's goin to murther us in Weber kenyon to-night, 
an' Miss Evelyn is in the prison. 

B, Howly Father ! 

3f7*s, Gr. O, dear, has this brawling place also in- 
fected my daughter so that she has even been arrested 
in a fight ? 

i. Divil a bit, axin yer pardin, ma'am, it's in the 
Lion House she's shet.up in, ye persave. 

Mrs. Gr. Horrors. Not with lions, I hope. 

L. No, no, ma'am, the profit. 

Mrs. Gr. Ah, he rushed in among the lions after 
her. They did not devour him ? 

L. It's wishin' that I am, wid all the veins o' me 
body, an' good luck to 'em. But it's the colic they'd 
git fur their atin, shure, the craythurs, like the divil 
whin he swally'd the praste. 

B. Arrah, thin it's yerself that has swally d the 
craythur agin, 



192 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

L, Sorra dlirop, Biddy, ii hagur, but it's in a nat- 
ural brutheen, 1 am intoirely. 

B. Avick thin,, sthop yer gosther an' sphake up. 
Fwlier's the daiiint? 

L, She wiut to the profit's house, ye mind? 

B, Shure an' we knows that, more's the sorra. 

L. An' it's the Lion House they calls it, by the 
same token it's the rooster house tliey'd be right in 
callln' it, bekaze the lion niver marries more nor one 
lad}' at wansl", the dacint crathur. 

B. Divil take the rooster an' the lion an' the howl 
niinadger}'. Can't ye sphake sensible, an' me a-dyin' 
to hear about me darlint? Fwhere is she now? 

i. In the prison, I tell yez. 

B. Mavrone orth, fwhat could the swate innocent 
be afther duin' wrong? 

L. The profit, bad luck to the morsil ov him, 
thried to put the gustho an' her an' axed her to 
marry him, an' Avhin she give him the cowld shouldher 
an' wants to go out, he ups an' claps her into the 
prison room. The naj'gur an' the tlieay tre lady towld 
us nil abouten it. 

B, Wurrah, wurndi ! I knowed it. I felt it in 
me heart, savourneen dhelish. Fwhy did I lave her 
go, the swate white girl o' my heart. O, Mrs. Grej', 
you the mither ov her, how could 3^e do it at all, at nil. 
Ye druv yer own flesh an' blood into the lion's 
howl. 

Mrs. Cr, She will receive no harm from him. 

B, The mistress of heaven forgive yez. Fwher is 
this same prison, Larry? Come along wid me. It's 
me that'll git her out, if it takes the las' dhrop o' 
blood in me body. Come along. How can ye be 



THE VICTIMS OF OVU WESTERN TURKS. 193 

aftlier shtaj^in' here an' gapin' like a manus, whin 
our swate princess is in the hans o' thim dogs. 
Come, I tell vez. 

i. Whisht, me woman, kape cool, kape cool. Mish- 
ter Jim, wint on that gait too whin he heard on it, 
but MishterBob belt him back. An' sorra bit o' the 
bocaun he is, I kin tell yez. He's the gineral all out. 
He has the swatest schame wid the najgur that'll 
fetch her out o' the profit's trap to-night, an' thin 
we're all goin' wid the immigrants to Calif orny. So 
kape cool, me lass, an' folly Mishter Bob. 
Unter RoB. 

Faix, here's the commander of the relafe shquadron 
now. 

Bob. Have you told the news, Larry ? 

L. That I hes, me gineral. 

Hob. And have you got your company ready, me 
lieutenant? 

L. Avick, thin, an' it's that I disremember'd en- 
toirely in all the hobble. 

Hob. It is dark now. The assassins will be astir 
soon. The Gentile hotel is the only friendly citadel in 
this hostile place. You are no longer safe here. 
Larry, you and Biddy may need to go to your own 
hut for some necessaries. If you make haste I will 
wait for you here. 

L. I knows the hotel, Mishter Bob. Jistj'-ou take 
the mistress foment you, an' me and Biddy'll find 
the way ourselves. 

B. O, me darlint, me poor darlint, a suilish 

machree ! 

[Bxeunt Lakry and Biddy.] 

Bob. Will you come now, Mrs. Grey ? 
^ 13 ^ 



194 EVELYN GBAY; OR, 

Mrs. G, No, sir. 

Roh. What, not at all. 

Mrs. GreJj, No sir, not at all. You may all go if 
you can, but I shall never leave Zion. 

Roh. Well, this is jolly. Why not, pray ? 

Mrs. G. Why sliould I, pray ? 

Rol. Indeed I think you choose a very inopportune 
time for bandying words. Why should you go? 
Because you have been inveigled into this den of sedi- 
tion and superstition and been robbed and- beggared 
by these thieving priests, because you have witnessed 
the vileness and enormities of this foul and foolish 
sect ; because we are all proscribed and doomed to 
be murdered to-night by the hired servants of this 
canting sultan ; because your noble daughter is in 
the hands of this mighty brute, and can be saved, if 
saved at all, from a fate a thousand times worse than 
death, only by instant flight. 

Mrs. G. Aye, saved for the arms of your friend, her 
lover, and I am to take part in this Romeo and Juliet 
scene. I will take an unexpected part. I will go 
and inform Mr. Young. \^Rising.'] 

Roh. Ah, indeed! Do you know the way? 

Mrs. G. No, sir, what do you mean ? 

Roh. Only that I was going to proffer my escort. 

Mrs. G. I know your sardonic jokes quite well, 
sir, but they shall avail you no longer. 

Roh. You mistake. I am not joking. I am in 
bloody earnest, so much so that if you decline my 
company I shall even commit the ungallant act of 
accompanying you against your wish. If you at- 
tempt to execute your insane and unnatural threat, I 
will be at your side and I will shoot your adored 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 195 

prophet in your presence. If we must all pcrisli, 
that monster shall be the first to fall. Death will be 
sweet to me after sucli a crowning achievement. 

Mrs. a. O God, what shall I do ! 

Mob. Do what reason, love and necessity prescribe. 
Come and flee with us. 

Mrs. Gr. Never, never ! Do you think I have 
given up all, England, the church, society and 
wealth, home and husband for the sake of reaching 
Zion, only to flee from it again? Never ! You may 
all go — Evelyn, too, and leave me alone to die and 
decay in this dark hole — but I shall never give up 
Zion. 

Roh. Not even when your so-called Zion proves a 
Gehenna. 

Mrs. Gr. Do not say that. I will not believe it. 
Go and leave me. Go ! go ! 

Roh. I will send someone again about midnight. 

l^Exit Rob.] 



SCENE IV.— Prison Room. Evelyn filing at the 
iron bar. Turns around^ listens. 
E. I thouo^ht I heard some one comino". It must 
be my terrified heart. How will it end ? A fate as 
liard and cold as this iron grating seems to confront 
us in our path. Yet these iron bars will yield. Tliis 
one is filed half through. O, how will it end? 
Will they succeed ? I am driven hither and thither 
between despair and hope, anguish and joy. It is a 
breathless, hazardous game. Yet anything is prefer- 
able to staying here. O. oh, I shudder to think of 
it! O God, God, thou lovest purity, hear us 



9 



196 EVELYN GBAY; OB. 

help us. If we are not to enjoy the happiness 
we dream of, Thy will be done, only let me escape to 
the garden, and there die with him ! O, James, my 
dearest love, I have brought you to this. O, my noble, 
precious, peerless James. How you must bo suffer- 
ing for me. God be with you. The thought of you 
gives me new strength. I must go to work again. 
I must do my part. With God's help we will succeed. 
\_Ttirns and listens again.'] There surely is some one 
coming. I heard it plainly, guides her 10018,1 

\_Knocking,~\ 

Enter Bkigham Youxg. 

Y. Good-evening, Evelyn. Have I disturbed you 
in your prayers ? I did not wish to come in without 
knocking. 

JEve. Such ceremony from the jailer to his pris- 
oner is mere mockery. 

Y. I really did not mean it so. 

Eve, Why did you enter unbidden then ? 

Y. How could I stay away, dearest Evelyn. Do 
not look so haughtily at me. I mean you no harm. 
I love you with all my soul, so sincerely, so tenderly. 
I worship you, my angel. Will you not listen to me, 
my adored ? \_Falls on his knees, ] Behold, I throw 
myself at your feet, a thing I have never done to 
any woman before. Here I am and offer you all that 
I am and own. Do not turn away from me in such a 
disgusted way. I know wliat you mean ; or are you 
laughing at me ? I suppose I must be cutting a 
very ridiculous figure. Guess I'll get up again. — 
O, dear me that's not as easy as getting down. [Slowly 
rises,~\ Come let's be plain, Evelyn. I know you mean 
polygamy. I know you've been told all about that. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 197 

Uve. I have been told nothing. My friends consid- 
erately withheld these things from me. 

Y. O, you have seen some things then ? 

Uve. Yes, sir, I have seen some things. 

Y. Well what you have seen is only appearance. 
There is polygamy among us. What is the use of 
denying it ? But it is very rare, and it is not the 
thing that our enemies would make it out to be. 
I am not responsible for its existence. Joseph Smith 
introduced it. He was a cranky, crack-brained 
fellow, who imagined that because those old saints in 
the Old Testament had more wives than one, he 
must go and do so, too. I could not abolish it at once 
but I have done my utmost to restrict it. It is true 
I have had a number of women sealed to me, as we 
call it, but that was done rather to provide for them 
than for any other reason, and even my enemies will 
tell you that I have practically lived in monogamic 
marriage for manj^ years. She who was in reality my 
wife has gone and left me now. I don't know with 
whom she has eloped, but I know she will never come 
back. Now if you will take her place. 

Uve. Sir, I cannot prevent your insulting me with 
such talk and such a proposal, for I am in your 
power. I cannot tell what you will do with me if I 
refuse. You may kill me. But it will spare you trouble 
if I say once for all, firmly, finally : it cannot be. I 
will never, never forsake my lover. 

Y, No, no, of course not; but if he forsakes you ? 

Uve. Sir! 

Y. Yes. You have never thought of that, eh ? 
Certainly not. But that is just what he will do. 



198 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

Eve. Sir, with all your power and territory, you 
are not worthy to be his valet. 

Y. Ah, indeed ! But you do not understand me. 
I don't question the sincerity of his love, I only doubt 
its constancy. I don't accuse him of being merce- 
nary. No doubt he has plenty money of his own, and 
I know wliere he got it. Right here in Salt Lake 
from the Mormons. Yes, I know him. Who does 
not know Jim St. Clair, as sharp a dealer as ever 
came to Utah ? I had great expectations as to who the 
lover of the proud, aristocratic Evelyn Grey might 
be. Some Englisli lord, at least, I supposed, until a 
few days ago I heard that this grand, love-inspiring, 
adorable Adonis was our old friend, '^James St. Clair, 
Dry Goods, Notions, Boots and Shoes." No, I don't 
know anything against his character, and if I did I 
would not distress j^ou with it. I only know that he 
is a roving, aimless character. He has been everything 
and everywhere. You don't know these American 
boys that run away from home to Texas or California. 
They're a fickle, ne'er-do-well lot, who break the hearts 
of their friends and never come to any good. He is 
madly in love with you now, small credit to him for 
that, what man would not fall in love with you? But 
who knov/s how many times he's been in love before, 
to how many and what kind of girls lie has repeated 
those same vows of eternal fidelity and fiddle-sticks? 
He's an adventurer, that's all, who has herded with 
cowboys and California miners, with roughs and the 
outlaws of the wild west. Some daj^ when he has 
had enough of you and the whim seizes him, he'll be 
off again to his old roving life. These fellows never 
can give it up. Then all you will have will be th© 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 199 

remembrance of his bombast and knight-errantry. 
Why should a girl like you want to tie herself to 
such a gypsy ? And for a mere passing sentiment ? 
You know the young ladies of quality in England 
fall in love with all kinds of young fellows sometimes 
but they are seldom so silly as to marry tliem. 
Those that do, marry in haste to repent at leisure. 
Most of them are sensible enough to marry in their 
own rank, whom their parents suggest, and are happy 
ever after. Now you know your mother is opposed 
to your marrying this young fellow, because she con- 
siders your welfare and rightly judges his character. 
You may think it is religious prejudice and fanatic 
zeal on her part. She is not such a fool. It is her 
English pride and her English prudence. She sees 
that such a match would be a mesalliance, that's all. 
Why, if he is such a cavalier, without fear and 
without reproach, doesn't he take steps to rescue his 
imprisoned lady-love ? The idea of leaving her in 
the dragon's den so long without showing himself ! 
Bah ! It is against all the examples of chivalry. 

Uve. When hq does I warn you to be on your 
guard. You will be paid for your vile slander. 

Y, Thank you for your kind solicitude, but I am 
not afraid. I don't expect him. Or has he sent a 
carrier-dove with a love message through the bars of 
your cell ? 

Uve. [^Aside.'] O, perhaps, he knows — No, no, he 
shall not make me betray our secret. 

Y. Come, Evelyn, dear, you see he is gone. He is 
out of the field. I didn't wish to jeer you. Listen 
to me. Try to look at my proposal for a moment. 
There can be no harm in that. It is onlv business- 



200 EVEL YN GBA Y ,\ OB, 

like and sensible. I was about to say something 
about that when you interrupted me. lam not as 
voune and handsome as you mio-ht wish me to be, 
but I am not as old as I look either. I will not try 
to induce you to marry me by painting the glories 
of celestial marriage, for you don't believe in that 
stuff. I don't propose to you as a Mormon at all. 
In fact I am none ! I have told you, I have 
tried to restrain and suppress this outrageous hum- 
bug of polygamy. I am sick of it utterly. Now 
Amelia is gone ; she was always in favor of it, strange 
to say. If 3'ou consent to be my wife I will marry 
you publicly, and, at the same time, dismiss all the 
other women and proclaim that polygamy shall be 
abolished. Do you think I could bear the touch or 
the sight of another woman beside you ? Now just 
think of what a great work you will accomplish by 
consenting ; a work for your whole sex and for man- 
kind, a work for history and for posterity. Thou- 
sands of poor women in these territories will hail 
you as their deliverer. All the women of the age will 
rise and call you blessed. All the world will honor 
and celebrate you as their greatest heroine. And then 
we will emigrate from this inhospitable country so( n. 
The hypocritical Government will apparently never 
give us any rest. It is a cold, miserable region any- 
how. I have my eye on the mountains of Mexico. 
I will buy an immense region of land there, and 
build up a commonwealth there that shall be the 
wonder of the world. And you shall be the wor- 
sliipped queen of that new kingdom. There, in that 
salubrious, romantic realm, I will build a great city, 
and in it a palace for you, beside which their old 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 201 

White House in Washington will be a miserable dog- 
hut. There you shall reign in splendor and in glory. 
The poor and afflicted shall crowd around you and 
shall go away blessing you and rejoicing. There the 
great and good of all lands will repair to admire and 
honor you. There the ambassadors of kings and 
princes will appear to jmy you court. Think of this ? 
Will you give up such a future? Will you forego 
sucli an opportunity for doing good for the sake of a 
passing, silly sentiment ? We should not bury our 
talents, you know. We must give an account of 
them. God has given you queenly beauty and a 
queenly mind. Will you bury theni in the low soil 
of a prosy, ordinary existence or will you raise them 
to a worthy position of usefulness ? 

Eve. You must have a poor opinion of my queenly 
mind if you think I can be moved by such a crude 
attempt at a fairy tale. 

Y. What ! Do you think I have not the power or 
the money ? 

Eve. You should have money enough, as my mother, 
among others, knows, to her sorrow, and your bad 
power over the ignorant is apparent. 

Y. I suppose, if the handsome young knight, 
instead of the wicked old ogre, drew the picture, then 
the fairy tale would be a toothsome young ladies' 
romance. 

Eve. If I were a beggar girl, and you the emperor 
of both Americas, and rich as a thousand Vander- 
bilts, I would spurn your offer with my foot. 
Y. And drudge for him all your life ? 
Eve. I would rather be his drudge in a hut than 
your empress in a palace. 



202 EVELYN GBAY; OB, 

Y. Then yon reject my proposal? 

Eve. My ears burn with shame, for listening to it. 

Y. And you will not take time to think about it 
further ? 

Eve, Not a minute. Go now ! 

y. Think over it until to-morrow. You may 
change your mind. 

Eve. Never, never, never. Leave me now, please. 

Y. To your thoughts of your absent lover? 

Eve. Yes, sir; your presence has been an insult to 
him too long. 

Y. And a disturbance to your sweet love thoughts. 

Eve. Yes. Go, go, if there is a grain of the gentle- 
man in you. 

Y. O, no, there is not, of course. 

Eve. It seems so. 

Y. I suppose, in order to earn the honor of being 
considered so by you, I should now open the door, 
and let you go to him. 

Eve. You may taunt me, a weak girl, with your 
power, but he at least is beyond it. 

Y. How do you know that? 

Eve. What can you mean? 

Y. You must have a poor opinion of my mind, 
that mind which rules these territories and outwits 
the diplomats at Washington, if you think I Avould 
bungle this business by leaving such an enemy at 
large. 

Eve. O, you have not laid your hands on him ! 

Y. Ha ! that changes your tone into another key. 
That has never occurred to you, lias it? You have 
j^et to learn, my girl, that Brigham Young does not 
do things by halves. I was afraid you wouldn't 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 203 

listen to me while your Jimmy love still figured in 
the game. I didn't want to make use of my trumps, 
except as a last resort. I hinted to you that he was 
out of the field, but you didn't understand that, of 
course. Your mind was too full of romantic pictures 
of the coming cavalier and the midniglit rescue, etc. 
I must disabuse your mind of these silly fancies and 
tell you plainly that he is out of the field. 

Uve. O, what have you done with him ? 

Y. Nothing as yet nor will I do him any harm if 
you say yes. 

Uve. Never. You dare not do him any harm. 

Y, I know he is a dangerous fellow with the re- 
volver, but we have attended to that. He is as 
harmless as you. 

JEve. You dare not touch a hair of his head, for 
he is an American citizen, and his government will 
protect him. 

Y. His government! O sweet simplicity ! Protect 
him indeed I Ha, ha, ha ! Don't you know his 
government out here is a dirty foot-ball, that I kick 
about as I please. I have just kicked it out of Utah 
for a good long while. 

JSve. But he was a captain in the army, and his 
old comrades, who know he is here, are not far 
away. 

Y. Dear child, they are far away, never to return, 
thanks to that same sublime government. You are 
both absolutely in my power. But I will not abuse 
it. I will let him go free if you promise to marry me. 

Uve. O, no, no, no ! How can you suppose he 
would go away and leave me here. 

y. Of course not vvalliuoiy, but with a dozen 



204 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

Danites urging him at the muzzles of twelve revol- 
vers he might. 

Uve. No, sir. He would not. You judge him by 
your cowardly self. 

Y, Well, then, we will know how to get him out of 
the way. 

Uve. What will you do? 

Y. He has deserved death over and over again, 
according to our Mormon laws. He deserves death 
for robbing the saints and then carrying his ill-gotten 
gains away. He deserves death as a soldier asso- 
ciated with that band of marauders that invaded 
our territory. He deserves death as a friend and 
assistant of that reporter spy, Norris, who is writing 
us up for the New York papers. He deserves death, 
a horrible death, for profaning the mysteries of our 
Endowment House. 

Uve, He has deserved death, most of all, for being 
an innocent obstacle to the Mormon despot's vile 
purpose. 

Y, You are rio^ht — that is the invariable fate of all 
who cross my wishes. But I will be merciful to 
him. Our people are clamoring for their blood, the 
Danites have whetted their knives for the slaughter, 
it was my arm alone that shielded them — One woi'd 
from me and they die. That word can be kept back 
only by one word from you. Speak that word, and 
he shall live. 

^ve. Never, never ! 

Y. What, is that your love for him ? 

Uve, Our love is a sacred compact for life and for 
death. We have sworn to be faithful to each other, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 205 

whatever betide. I will keep my part of the agree- 
ment, so will he. 

Y, \_Aside,'] I didn't expect this. You are a rare 
girl, more of an ancient Roman than a modern 
English. Still you are acting silly. What good will 
your tragic and romantic love do you if it causes 
your lover's death ? 

Eve. Love is above such accidents as life or death. 
My fidelity he has a right to expect aside from all 
other considerations. 

Y. Very fine and very foolish. You have read too 
many novels and they have made you unpractical. 
If you really love him you cannot deliberately con- 
sign him to death. Yours is an icy, cruel love. 

JEve. My unfaithfulness would cause him more 
agony than a thousand deaths. 

Y. To be butchered with bowie-knives is not like 
reading a novel. 

Eve. Horrible ! But I would dishonor him by 
thinking worse of his love than of mine. We are 
both ready to die. I do not expect any more hap- 
piness on earth. End your loathsome parley and 
begin your bloody work. Here plunge, your bowie- 
knife into my heart first. You shall see that even I 
can die without a murmur. 

Y. I reallj^ believe it, but I'm not such a fool. I 
don't want to kill you. What use would you be to 
me dead ? I want you blooming, warm and living. 
I know a better use of your soft bosom than to stab 
it. Die indeed ! You shall not die, neither shall he. 

Eve. Ha! 

Y. No, you have shown me a better way. He 
shall live but so that not only death butyour unfaith- 



206 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

fulness \A^ould be a thousand times less agonizing. 

Uve. O my trembling soul, wliat shall I hear? 

F. Only that I will provide you both quarters near 
each other. I will prepare a dungeon in the cellar 
for him right under this room. So that the barred 
windows of your room and the grating of his cell 
shall look out on the same garden, and you can catch 
the sound of each other's voices. Won't that be de- 
lightfully romantic. There he shall be kicked and 
tortured every day, the dog ! Death is indeed too good 
for him. I will chain him to the stone wall and spit 
on him. I will instruct the vilest fellow I have, in 
the art of taunting and tormenting him. He shall be 
kept alive on mouldy bread and dirty water. He 
shall be caofed there until his beard is Ofrizzlv and liis 
fine face as ugly and imbecile as a beast's. You shall 
hear his groans and smell the foul odor of his dungeon 
up here. He shall hear your sobs and cries below, and 
when he clenches his bony fists and hel[)lessly pulls 
at his chain, I will come down and tell him that you 
send him a sweet kiss, which I have just taken warm 
and fresh from you. Ha, how does this picture of 
your knight strike you ? Come, I must have one 
now. It will bring back the color to your cheeks. 
[^Tries to kiss her,'] 

JSve. Monster, do not touch me. 

Y. Not ? Ha, ha ! All the better. I am not in a 
hui-ry. They won't spoil. I can wait till the gen- 
tleman is in his quarters below. 

Uve, O God, O good and merciful God, help me 
to think. 

Y. Aha, that's a sensible prayer. You're coming 
to reason at least. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 207 

JEve, It all seems like a frightful tragedy that I am 
witnessing from afar, only now and then comes the 
horrible intimation like the whisper from the cold 
breath of a skeleton, benumbing my soul, that it is 
our tragedy. I feel that I am standing between two 
alternatives, as between two terrible abysses, but all 
is growing dark. I am walking in a dizzy dream — 

Lord Jesus, do Thou hold and steady me ! Thou 
art my rock, my shield, my light — I cling to Thee, 
Thou wilt not forsake me. 

Y. Hell fire ! stop that infernal praying. Answer 
me. Will you say yes or no ? 

JEve, [^Falling on her knees.'] Have pity on me, 
Mr. Young. You sometimes look like a venerable 
father. Think of your daughter Alice. What liave 

1 done to deserve this? We have perhaps done 
wrong against your religion. O, let us expiate it by 
our deaths. We do not want to live, we do not want 
to escape and marry. We only ask death, that com- 
mon solace of despair, which is denied to none. For- 
give us if we have angered you, but as you expect 
mercy of God, as you expect to render him account, 
do not do this. Here; plunge your dagger in deep. 
I will thank you with my last breath. By all that 
is sacred and humane, I implore you. 

y. O, bosh, stop that theatrical business now. 

Eve. O Lord, wilt Thou not prick this viper that 
he sting. It cannot be thy will that I fall into the 
embrace of his clammy folds ! 

Y. That does seem to be His will, and it isn't such 
a dreadful fate. What is there so dreadful about it? 
Your lover may be saved, and you may yet go to 
him. Perhaps I wdll let you go soon. 



208 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

Eve. O, horrible ! What assurance will you give 
me of his escape ? 

Y, My word of honor. 

Eve, I don't believe it. It is a long way out of 
Mormondom. My fall would not save him. Who 
shows no honor toward woman w^ill show none toward 
man. No, I am resolved now. I thank thee, God. I 
will fall into thy hands. No, sir, do your worst, I 
will not consent. 

Y, The devil you won't. Then I'm resolved too. 
Hear me, crazy fool. I wanted to make you my 
wife, my queen; now you shall not even be my con- 
cubine. You shall be the vilest wench of all the 
land. I will take the romantic nonsense out of you. 
I will bring your proud virtue low. You shall be the 
slave of all my women. The common strumpets of 
the Gentiles shall point their fingers at you. You 
shall only serve my pleasure and, when your proud 
beauty is gone and I am done with you, I will turn 
you over to the Danites as their common property. 
To-morrow morning, proud Evelyn Gray, I will 
come again. [Flinging her from him.'] 

Eve, Now I am calm again. I awaken from a 
hideous dream. Hell has overleaped its mark and 
spent its force. God is with us. O, I don't believe 
he has captured James at all. At any rate I will do 
my part, and if this end of the file does not effect 
my escape, the other is sharp enough to reach my 
heart. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 209 

SCENE V. — Gakden adjoining Brigham Young's 
HOUSE. Larky, Biddy and Lucy Rawdon out- 
side the wall with horses. 
Enter Jas. and Robert with rope ladder over the 

tvalL 

Jas. How about Mrs. Gray, Bob ? 

Itoh. Couldn't move her by s\Yeetness or severity. 

Jas. The dickens! Fra afraid Evelyn will not want 
to leave without her. 

Bob. I think she'll give in, she's in such a state 
of hysterical imbecility. 

Jas. What's to be done ? 

Bob. I have arranged a . coup de main as a last 
resort. 

Jas. What is it ? 

Bob. Met Jerry Bowles and he promised to fix him- 
self up as an Lidian. You know what a wild terror 
she lias of Indians. He'll burst on her with tomahawk 
and Comanche yell. About the same time Levi 
Savage and another recusant Mormon will appear as 
if to rescue her, saying they'll take her to Brigham's — • 
that'll fetch her. They'll have their horses ready 
and fly to the camp with Jerry in pursuit. 

Jas. Levi Savage going to skip Zion, too ? 

Bob. Yes, indeed, got his family in the camp 
already. 

Jas. It will be grand sport for Jerry. Don't be- 
grudge her the fright very much. It was dear 
mother-in-law who got us into all this. 

Bob. Imagine her rage when she finds herself in 
the Gentile camp with us. You'll catch it, poor Jim. 

Jas. Hush, isn't some one coming out of the house 
there ? 

14 



210 EVELYN GA'AY; OB, 

Bob. It's the darkey. Pst! Tom, this way. 
Unter Tom. 

Jas, How is it ? 

Tom. All right, Mass, Sinclair. Jess come from 
de young Miss's doah. I war hangin' roun' dar all 
de ebening ter gib de tap when he cum. 

Jas. Who? 

Tom. Mass'r Brigham. 

Jas. He's been in to her again ? 

Tom. Shuah, been in dar mos' a whole hour, talkin' 
weddin' cake to her. He didn't do her no harm doh. 
I heah it all outside. He jess went foh to skeer 
her wid a story 'bout you bein' in a dungin' too, 
but she didn't skeer wuth a cent, uu' wouldn't say 
yas nowhow. 

Jas. God bless her ! 

Tom. Las' he went away tearin' mad an^ cum an* 
wake me up. I wah sleepin' mighty soun', ye see, 
hah, hah, an' tole me to watch dere all night. I let 
on I wah drefful sleepy, so't he had to kick me. Wen 
I git's dah she wah filin' away agin. I whispers 
froo de keyhole dat you'se all right, an' den she jess 
go filin's do she wah hired by de job. She am all 
frough now. 

Jas. Well done, dusky conspirator. Where is the 
great brute now ? 

Tom. In his room, but he aint sleepin' yit. I knows 
w'n he sleep, kase he do snore like a hoss. 

Jas. The vile beast ! If he shows his face, he'll 
never snore again. Are you well armed. Bob? 

Itoh. Cap-a-pie as the story books- have it, but see 
here, Jim, if you dare to fire before I give the word, 
I'll shoot you. As sure as you live, I will. If the 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 211 

worst comes to the worst, Fll not deprive you of the 
right to kill him, but for God's sake, remember we're 
here to save Evelyn, not to have a shooting match. 
Everything is propitious so far : Brigham ignorant 
of the plot, the Danites away at Weber canyon, the 
night dark enough, and the town quiet. Now don't 
ruin our only chance by your wild desire for re- 
venge. 

Jas. I'll mind you, Bob. Isn't it time ? 

Rob, \_Looking at his watcli]. Yes, it's just one. 
Tom, please go and stand guard at the door. 

[Exit Tom. 

[ Ciives three cricket chirps, EvELYN appears at the 
window.^ 

Jas. O God, there she is ! 

Mob. Shut up. No Romeo apostrophes now. She has 
lowered the cord. \_They approach the house. Rob 
ties the rope-ladder to the cord., ivhich is raised and 
fastened above. Evelyn then descends and falls into 
James' arms^ . 

Jas. My angel, I hold you again. 

Eve. [^Weeping, clinging to him']. God be praised! 
Now I am content. 

Tom. \_Ru7ming up]. He am a comin', Dah he 
comes, dah he comes. [Brigham Young appears, 
coming out of the door,] 

Jas. Where is he ? [^Drawing his revolver.] 

Rob. Put up your shooter, Jim. Away, away to 
the wall, to the wall ! \_Pulling them along.] 

Y. Hell fire, they have come for her ! Hey, Tom, 
that's right, catch her ! Head her off, head her off. 

Tom, All right. Mass, Briggum, dat's wat I'se 
gwine ter do. 



212 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

[They ch'mh the ivall, ToM helps Evelyn over,'] 

Y. Hold her fast, you black idiot, pull lier down, 
why don't you ? 

Tom, [CUinhmg up after her,"] I'se gwine ter 
head her off, Mass' Brigum. 

Y, Hold her fast a minute, and Til give you your 
freedom. 

Roh, By your leave, King Bluebeard, we have re- 
solved ourselves into an underground R.R. Co. for 
that very purpose. Thomas, in the name of the 
Abolitionists, I emancipate j^ou. 

Tom, [Jumping on a horse,] All right, sah. 
Thank you, sah. Let's go now, quick. 

[_They mount their horses.^ 

Y, Thousand damnations ! Are you in this plot? 
You, infernal nigger, I'll wring your black neck. I'll 
get you and the girl yet. 

Roh, You'll have to ride hard. The twin relics of 
barbarism are going fast, (bowing) 

Y. You go to hell. I'll have you all hanged for 
stealing my property. Murder ! Murder ! 

Jas, [Aiming at him.] Here, take it,' you bellow- 
in sf beast. 

Roh, Hold Jim, j^ou'll rouse the whole town Lnd 
teriitor}^ 

Eve. Where's mamma, James ? 

Biddy. She's gone afore, me darlint. [Mrs. Gray 
passes oil horsehacJc with a friend of hiLYl Sayage 
followed by Jerry, whooping and brandishing his 
tomahaicJc] Howh^ Mither look at the bloody 
Injun ? 

Rob. There she goes. 

jr. Murder ! mur • 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 213 

Larry, \Knock8 him down with a cliih,'\ Take 
that fur yer foine screechin', Misther Profit, wid the 
complimints of owld Erin. 

Rob. Away, away to California's golden clime. 

\JElxeunt^ galloping off,"] 



214 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 



ACT V. 

SCENE T. — Emigrant Camp, south of Salt Lake 
City. Father Parsons and Levi Savage before 
a camp fire. 

Father P, I believe your account, Mr. Savage, 
and, as a mark of confidence in you, we want you to 
take charge of the train. 

S, That's a mighty responsible position, Mr. 
Parsons, an' I come to you as a stranger an' seekin' 
shelter. 

P. We are the strangers in this country, and you 
know every cave and corner of it, and your own 
danger is the best guarantee to our trust. 

S. I see, it's jest like a man jumping in 'mongst a 
lot o' fellers swimmin' fur the shore — they all turn 
an' ketch hold o' his heels to tow 'em out, s'posing 
as he orter know what he's about. But 'tain't 
exactly that way neither — leastways you was all safe 
enough. Brigham didn't have no grudge 'gainst 
you. It's my joinin' you an' these other folks as 
puts you in a tight place. 

P. We have never stopped to think of that, nor 
would it make any difference. You are all welcome 
no matter what comes. 

S, You are a noble man an' a ra'al minister, a 
long day's ride from them Mormin priests, sir. 

P. Tut, tut, Mr. Savage, no compliments. 

S, All right, sir, I ain't a man o' compliments my- 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 215 

self. It'll be as you say. I'll take charge of the 
train. We'll do our best. I wish they'd come. 

P. We're all ready, except to wake up the people. 
What road will you take ? 

S. The reg'lar southern route, I reckon, pushin' 
straight throuofh fur Mountain Meadows. There 
we'll rest a few days, an' then strike right acrost the 
desert fur Southern Californy. 

P. How far is Mountain Meadows? 

S. About three hundred miles, right on the divide 
'twixt the waters o' the Great Basin an' the Colorado 
It's a lovely place, with a big spring an' good feed 
fur the critters, an' when we get there, I'll feel's 
though we was sayin' good-bye to Morraondom. 

P. It has a pleasant sound. God grant it may 
prove a pleasant refuge to us. 

S, I wish they'd come. I'm gittin' uneasy. There, I 
hear the soun' o' gallopin' horses. They're comin', sir. 

P. Thank God ! 

fS. There they are. Whew, how they're whizzin' 
along. Hello, boys, here we are ! Is't all right? 

Unter Larky, Biddy, Jas., Eve., Lucy Rawdon, 
Rob, and Tom on horseback. 

Rob. All right. Captain. 

S. Where's the ole lad}^ ? 

Bob. On the road. They'll be here in a minute. 

S. Then we kin git ready. Hello ! All up and 
about here. 

[^Emigrants awake and arise, ^ 

Hitch up the horses an' fall in line. The wagons 
'11 take their regular places, with the ladies' carriage 
in the middle. The men wi' horses ridin' on both 



216 EVELYN GRAY; OB. 

sides all along the train. Mr. Norris wi' the Irishman 
ii\\ Jerry '11 command the rear guard, w'ile me an' the 
minister '11 ride ahead. Don't forgit to load yer 
rifles. Hurry up now. 

[^Emigrants disperse.'] 

This is Father Parsons, the leader of the company. 

P. I thank God for your success, my friends. The 
young lady with her friend had better come into the 
ladies' carriage. 

Jas. All right. Thank you, sir. 

[ffelps Evelyn to dismount], 
[Exeunt Jas. with Eve., Biddy and Lucy Rawdon.] 

Enter Mrs. Grey, with recusant Mo7*mon^ followed hy 
Jerry Bowles. 

Jerry B. Whoa, ole feather-foot. 

Mrs. Gr. Murder, murder ! Save me from that 
savage. Hold him, hold him. 

Jerry gives another Indian war-whoop. 

S. Shet yer mouth now Jerry. Go an' take them 
Injun traps off, er you'll scare the ole woman inter 
fits. Don't be afeard Mrs. Gray, you're 'mongst 
friends now. 

Mrs. Gr. Oh, where am I ? Where is Mr. Young ? 
Take me to him. 

S, Not much. You thank the Lord you're away 
from liim. This is a emigrant train from Arkansaw 
on their way to Californy, an' we're all goin' along 
with em. You're dauofhter's here too. 

Robt. 1 hope you will pardon our little trick, Mrs. 
Gray. The dreadful Indian is no other than our old 
trapper friend of the mountains. 

He-enter Jerry divested of paint and feathers. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 217 

Je7'r7/. Gie's a grab o' yer fist, ole woman, an' no 
offense. I didn't go ter hurt yer. Jerry Bowles 
don't tomahawk no wimmin. 

Mrs. G. Go away, you brute [crf/inc/.'] That is in 
keeping with your other conduct, sir, to make me the 
butt of your low jokes and terrify me to death in my 
illness too. Oh, if only Mr. Young were here ! 

Boh. You forced us to it as a last resort. But now 
let me take you to your dauofhter. 

Mrs. Gr. Never, I will go back to Zion. [Remounts.'] 

jS. [Holding the horse s bridle']. You don't know 
wa't your doin'. 

Mrs. Gr. Let go. 

Re-enter James and Father Parsons. 
Roht. Well, Jim, here's a quandary. 

We've brought the pony to the brink 
But who is going to make her drink ? 

Jas. For Heaven's sake, Mrs. Gray, don't keep up 
this farce any longer. Let me take you to Evelyn. 

Mrs. Cr. No, sir. While you are with her, I will 
not go near her. Tell her that her mother's curse 
and that of her mother's God rests on her wicked 
fliglit. I'm going back to Zion. [Rides off.] 

Rob. Let her go, Jim, a gentle riddance. 

Jas. She's gone stark mad. 

Sav. She won't come to any hurt there, an 
reckon she'll follow us yit. Here, Jerry, you go long 
back with her and kind o' scont aroun'. You kin 
come an' go without bein' suspicioned, an' kin do us 
more good there nor here. Keep yer eye on the 
Danites, an' send reports along the trail. 



218 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

Jer. All right, Levi. Good-bye, Jim. Ain't I got 
a goshy ole time a ropin' my gal. I ain't ez slick ter 
this yer loping bizzness nor you young uns. 

l^JExit Jerry whooping,'] 

Sav, None o' that, Jerry. Keep outen her sight 
and stop yer hoss-play. Ready now. All aboard ! 
Forward ! [^Exeunt omnes.'] 



SCENE II.— Salt Lake City.— Office of Brigham 
Young, 

[Brigham Youxg with bandaged head rises from 
a sofa and ringsJ] 

Y, Tom, Tom ! O, I forgot that nigger's gone. 
O, the black dog of hell ! Don't I wish I had him 
here for five minutes. Good heavens, I wouldn't 
shoot him. It would be the dearest luxury just to fix 
my fingers round his toad-like neck and choke him, 
choke him. To think that he sliould be at the bot- 
tom of all this, — a black, stinking, loathsome beast, a 
stupid, staring reptile. This is the worst of the whole 
business. But I'll get him, if I have to send to Cali' 
fornia. Yes, all of them, the whole infernal crew. 
They shall die. It'll be small pay for this one blow 
on my head. I feel like murdering a thousand. 
Where are those two sneaking scamps .staying ? 
[Rings again]. The devil, can't one of those twenty 
scarecrow females come. God damn this whole 
infernal Mormonism to hell ! 

Unter Amelia. 
A. Well, that's about the first good wish I ever 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 219 

heard you express, only you needn't swear quite so 
loud. 

Y. Good Lord, where do you come from ? 

A. Why from the place I went to, and a nice state 
of affairs I find things in : all the women scurrying 
through the house in their night-gowns and petticoats 
like a flock of geese, and you a roaring and swearing 
with a battered head. What is the matter ? Have 
your twent}^ concubines avenged their wrongs at last? 

Y. Bah, the silly hussies, no such thing. 

A. Who has been breaking your head ? 

Y. Nobody, I fell downstairs, that's all. 

A. It doesn't look like it. Where's Tom ? 

y. The black scoundrel ! He's gone. He ran away 
with a lot of apostates, and starting after him in the 
dark I fell down the steps and hurt my head. 

A. That's funny. Then he gave you the signal 
when he went? 

Y. Oh, pshaw, no, I'got wind of it, and just caught 
him. 

A. But you didn't catch him. 

Y. I will though, darn his black hide ! 

A. I hope not. If I can help him escape I'll do it, 
the poor boy. Have you been marrying any more ? 

Y. Oh, bosh, Amelia, can't you talk sense ? Aren't 
you glad to see me again ? 

A. Well, hardly in such a plight. You don't look 
very charming. You'd better go to bed. 

Y. I can't. I'm expecting Wells and Kimball on 
important business. Won't you go and quiet those 
women ? 

A. Poor things, they're anxious about their one 
twentieth of a husband. [^a;/f.] 



220 EVEL YN GRA Y ; OE, 

Y, Confound it, how she alvvaj'S does turn up. 
It's lucky though she didn't come yesterday. Wonder 
if she's heard of Evelyn. Lord, I hope not. 

Miter Wells a7id Kimball. 

K. Good Lord, Brother Brigham, what's the mat- 
ter? Have you been in an election fight? 

T. Shut up. I'm not in a mood for fun. 

K. Excuse me, Brother Brigham, but I was think- 
ing of my own head, you know. 

Y. Confound your silly head, but mine, the head 
of Mormonism. It's an outrage and a sacrilege. I've 
been mobbed and assaulted in my own house. 

K. Good Lord, by whom ? 

Y. By that treacherous, infernal St. Clair party. 

TT. Why, how could they do it ? 

Y. Just came and did it. They had bribed that 
sooty imp of hell, Tom, you know, to show 'em the 
way into the garden. When I went out to see what 
the noise was, they were lying in wait for me, and 
while St. Clair held a cocked pistol in my face, that 
drunken Irishman knocked me down with a club. 

K. Oh, he is a slugger. 

W. Well, I never saw a bolder crowd. They stop 
at nothing. Why didn't you call for help, Brother 
Brigham ? 

Y. Call? I should think I did, but the only 
answer I got was the sound of people shutting their 
windows — the miserable cowardly mob? 

W. Well, you can't blame them for bein' scared 
when the Danites murder people in broad daylight. 

jfif. Where were the Danites ? 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTERN TUEKS. 221 

Y. Oh, I don't know. You're all a pack of cow- 
ards and traitors. 

K. Don't say that, President, we'll do anything 
to avenge this outrage. Where are tliese wretches'? 

Y. They're gone with that Arkansas train. 

K. That so? You know that Levi Savage and 
Lucy Rawdon and others have gone with them too? 
Something must be done before they get out of the 
Territory. Tliey know too much. 

W. What are you going to do about it ? 

Y. Tliey must all perish. The whole train. 

W, Not those strangers too? 

Y. The whole damned train. 

W. Why, what have they done ? 

Z. What business have they harboring our crim- 
inals ? Besides they'll all have to be killed before 
we can get the others. 

iT. It does seem dreadful, but I don't see any 
other way. 

r. It will take them two days to reach Harmony. 
There are enough of our people around there to use 
them up. Here Dan, sit down and write. [Die 
tates.] To Bishop Higbee and President J. C. 
Haight, of Cedar City, and Bishop John Lee, of Har- 
mony: ''An emigrant train from Arkansas, which 
has been joined here by apostates, traitors and crim- 
inals, will pass through Harmony to-morrow, en 
route to California. It is the President's wish that 
you should pursue these accursed Gentiles and let 
the arrows of the Almighty drink their blood. The 
entire party must be used up. He leaves the 
method to you, bnt will hold you responsible for the 
execution of his command." Have you signed it? 



222 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

W, No sir. Why should I sign it. 

Y. Because you are my Adjutant-General. It's 
the usual form of military orders. 

Wells. It reads more likeyour instructions to the 
Daiiites. I don't call the assassination of a hundred 
and thirty innocent men, women and children a 
military order. If you want to have them murdered, 
sign your own name. 

Y. Why, what have you to do with it, you eternal 
jackass. It is my order. You are my secretary, my 
agent. 

W. If I am, why should my name be there ? 

Y. I have already told you, numskull. Will you 
sign? 

W. No I won't. 

Y. The hell you won't? Get out of here. I'll 
have you attended to. 

K. Come, Dan, think of your duty. Your duty is 
to obey. You have no responsibility. 

Tf. What are we here for then ? Why are we 
elected to the first Presidency ? 

Y. Why, j^ou everlasting jackanapes. When will 
you get over your school-bo}^ conceit ? Why ? To 
be a figurehead, a wooden machine, — that's why. 
And I put you there because I supposed you had 
sense enough to know you had no sense. The first 
Presidency, indeed ! You impudent, stupid, bungling 
donkey. I am the first Presidency ; I am Mormon- 
ism. Don't you know that yet, you big lumbering 
ox? Now, then, I'll just give you five minutes to 
consider. Either you sign that paper, or you and 
your office go to the devil. 

K, Oh, dear, no, Brother Brigham, don't abolish 



THE VICTIMS OF OUB WESTEBN TUBKS, 223 

the office. Come, Dan, you take no responsibility. 

W. Why, who does, when my name is the only one 
there? Brigham Young isn't implicated a jot in 
that order. I understand that game. 

Y, Ah, you do, do you ? And I understand yours. 
It's fear for your precious bovine neck. Oh, you 
great soldier ! 

W. What, I a coward ! Give me that paper. 
What's the difference ? We're all going to hell any- 
way. [Siffns.] There that lets all of you out. 
[Gives Young the paper.'] Are you satisfied now? 
T. There, Heber, you send that paper to Haiglit 
at Cedar City by the fastest rider you can find. And 
listen, I want them to take Tom and the girl Evelyn 
alive. Their blood shall be on the head of Haiglit 
and John. As for you. Wells, get the Naiivoo 
Legion in shape to march after them if necessary. 
[Exeunt Wells and Kimball.] Well, I've got 
them in the breach this time. [Knocking,'] Who 
the devil's that ? Come in. 

Enter Mrs. Gray. 
Mrs. Gr. Oh, Brother Young, I come to you, to 
you! 

T. I see that. What the dickens do you want? 
3Irs. Cr. Oh, my prophet, whither else shall I fly ? 
F. Please don't catch hold of me. Don't you see 
T ache all over. I thought you had gone with your 
confounded daughter. 

Mrs. Cr. You are justly incensed at her. 
Y. What do I care for the baggage. She's not 
worth pursuing. 
Mrs. a. Sir! 
r. A common wench with all her fine airs and 



224 EVELYN GBAY; OR, 

lofty ways. To run off with a low adventurer to a 
camp of rowdies by night in the company of a New 
York Bohemian and an abandoned actress. That is 
your uuapproachable Evelyn. 

3Irs. Gr. O God, tliere is light at hist, awful, har- 
rowing light. 

Y. Bah, don't jon get theatrical too. She got 
that trick from you. Did she get her virtue there 
also ? 

Mrs. G-. Oh, oh^ I see it all now. The scales fall 
from my eyes. Now I see you as you are. My pure, 
peerless Evelyn, to have your whiteness tarnished 
with such a breath. O God, in mercy forgive me. 
They were right, and I have brought them all to 
this ! 

T, O, go to the devil. 

Mrs. Cr, God forgive me ? O, you monstrous beast, 
how could I worship you as a god ? O, Evelyn, my 
sweet, my dear. I will go to her. If she forgive me, 
God may too. [^Uxit,'] 



SCENE III. — Camp of Emigrants at Mountain 

Meadows, Evening, Camp fire. 
Mother (Mks. Savage) singing to her child : 
On the earth the night descending. 
Homeward men their way are wending. 
Light and shadow fast are blending. 
And all nature seeks repose. 

Work and waking now are over. 
Sleep thine eyelids soon will cover, 
While good angels o'er thee hover. 
In sweet slumber let them close, 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 225 

Thou our hearts with love art thrilling, 
With fond care our labors filling ; 
From the night air damp and chilling, 
We will keep our nestling warm. 

Days of sorrow vexing sorely, 
Nights of grief may be before thee, 
But a Father watches o'er thee, 
He will keep thee from all harm. 

Stars in heaven without number, 
Shining now attend thy slumber, 
May no earthly care encumber, 
In thy dreams thy peaceful rest. 

May His star thee ever guiding. 
Lead thee on with hope abiding. 
While earth's days are onward gliding, 
To the sunlight of the blest. 

Jas. and EVelyn walking at a distance. Enter RoB 
and Lucy Rawdon. 

Roh, Yes, all things now invite to the close of the 
play. Beauty saved and promenading on the arm of 
her lover, the Beast far away. The quiet valley and 
the sunset furnish the idyllic, and here is the lullaby 
too, suggestive of sweet domesticity. Even the min- 
ister is at hand like a veritable deus ex machind. 

Lucy. Ah, true, if we only knew whether our play 
is to end as a four-act comedy or a five-act tragedy. 
Quien sale ? The heroine's face is still beclouded. 

Roh. That is until the last scene of the returned 
and relenting mamma. But indeed her style of beauty 
is too classic for a modern society coniedy. " I would 



226 EVELYN GRAY; OB, 

she were fatter." Too statuesque. If she were only 
a little dumpy then we would not need to be. 

Lucy. O, terrible. But, despite your fun and pun, 
do you not worship her ? 

Mob. Ah, only from afar. 

Lucy. Alas, so do I, O, holy girl, prove thou our 
tutelary saint. ^Uxeunt.'] 

Enter Levi Savage, 

Savage to Mother : Is the young 'un asleep, wife? 

Mother. Yes, I will put him to bed. 

Savage. How sweet and calm he looks asleep, jest 
like this lovely evening. To-morrow, wife, we'll be 
away from Mormondom. \_Shots fired. Mother and 
child^ together with a dozen other emigrants^ fall dead, 
Great outcry and confusion.'] 

Savage. Good God Almighty, what's this ? O, my 
darlins. Wife, wife ! — Dead, she's dead, and so's the 
boy, killed by the same bullet. Great Lord in heaven, 
who done this ? Hello, all hands to work, shove the 
waggins together an' sink the wheels in the ground. 
Throw, up trenches agin 'em inside. Every man to 
work with his rifle by his side. All keep inside the 
barricade. 

F. Parsons. For God's sake, Captain, come in 
here. 

Savage. No, I'll patrol outside, sir. [^Throws him- 
self on his wife and child.] Dead, dead, so suddenly, 
an' I alive to look on this, an' never see a happy day no 
more ! Who done this devil's deed ? [Jumps up and 
looks.] I see some figures skulking up the ravine. 
I swear it looks like Brigham's work. Put out them 
camp-fires an' all the lights. Don't stop that diggin'. 
I'll do the watching. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS.' 227 

Parsons. Do come inside, dear Captain, your life 
is indispensable to us. 

Savage. God knows 'tain't worth nothin' to me. 
But you air right, an' mebbe it's better so. They 
went so quick an' easy. There's no more trouble 
for them. O, my darlins. Come, some o' you, an 
help carry these dear bodies in, 

[The dead are home inside^ Loud lamentation.'] 

Savage. Sh. Quiet, my friends. Dark an' still is 
wot we want. I think the cowards have sneaked 
away. 

[Subdued crying., and the muffled sound of shovel- 
ling. It grows quite dark.] 



SCENE IV. — Camp of Mormo7is and Indians in 
another part of the valley. Some of the Indians 
playing at leaping and running ; others carousing 
and dancing. Mormon young men throwing quoits. 
John D. Lee and J. C. Haight sitting together, 
drinking whiskey. 

Jno. D. Lee. I say, Haight, this . yere business is 
takin' too long. Here it's nigh on to a week we've 
been shootin' 'em, an' no signs of a surrender. We 
only pick out one once in a w'ile. They're making 
their fort stronger all the w'ile, and they got lots o' 
grub. Durned if I don't believe they're gone an' dug 
a well inside their corral, leastway we don't ketch 
none o' them at the spring no more. They kin hold 
out for a month, or till they git help. 

Haight. Why, where in the hell are they going to 
git help from ? 



228 EVELYN GBAY; OR, 

Lee. Jerry Bowles is gone scooting out someweres. 
Arter he brought the ole woman inter their camp, the 
other night he wiggled right out again. We foun' 
that out. He knows every track an' trail from tlie 
Rockies to the Sierras. Mebbe he's gone to fin' the 
army. You kin jess bet your life he knows where 
they be this very minnit. An' jess look at them 
dirty Utes. They're flockin' in every day like buz- 
zards 'round a carcase, drinking up our whiskey and 
gittin' chuck full o' fight, and the smell o' blood. If 
we don't let 'em loose on them people soon, durned if 
I aint afeard they'll turn on us. Besides, our boys 
is gittin' tired on it, too, 

ff. Well, why not attack the durned shebang an' 
carry it by storm ? 

L. Not much. There air fifty fighting men in that 
air waggin' yard, with Levi Savage at their head. 
W'y they'd jess mow us down like alfalfa. I don't 
want none o' that in mine. We have to try strat- 
jim. We have to fool 'em out o' their corral. 

H. Yes. 

L. Now, you see they don't know there air any 
w'ite men fightin' 'em. W'y can't we play the role 
o' peace-makers an' protectors, an' start em on the 
back'ard trail without their arms. 

IT. Very fine, if they'll only come out. 

L. In course they will, an' blamed glad. 

jET. Wot, to be murdered in cold blood ? 

L. Botheration ! They don't expect us, men an' 
brethren to do that. 

JH. But that's the program? 

L. Precisely. Them's our orders, an' them s my 
sentiments. Air you going to back out ? 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 229 

n. No, no, I ain't, but it is a dreadful job. Give 
me some whiskey, John. (^Drinks). You air a cool 
han' and no mistake. When air you goin' to try it 
on ? "' 

L. To-morrow afore sun up. Go an' sen' Hio-bee 
*? '"'• [Exit Haight!] 

^ow n,y sweet Evelyn Gray, your weddin' bed is 
awaitin' for you. This is John Lee's turn an' Brig- 
ham Young kin wait for his'n till he gits to heaven. 

lExit.'] 



SCENE Y.— Mountain Meadows. Early dawn. 
Camp of Emigrants. Mrs. Gkay, Evelyn, Lucy 
Rawdon and Biddy. 

Mrs. Gray. Another day and still another. How 
they come creeping over the hills like mighty ghosts 
with their messages of doom. Ah, who will fall to- 
day ? 

Eve. Think of the thousands, dear mamma, the 
whole world over, who daily die. What does it matter 
how? 

Lucy. I feel as if this day decides our fate. 

Biddy. Alannah, it's the truth. It's me that seen 
the Banshee in the night. 

Mrs. a. But tell me, Evelyn, what has become of 
tlie negro boy who helped you to escape ? 

Fve. I shudder to tell you. He gave his life 
for us. 

Lucy. The morning after the first attack he was 
gone. The trapper who brought you told us of his 
fate. He had ridden all night, and the next day 



230 EVELYN GRAY; OR, 

threw himself at Brigham's Young's feet. An hour 
hiter he was lying on the street, with his throat cut 
and a pLicard on his breast witli the words : 
'' Let white women alone." 

Mrs. Gr, Great God, such heroism in such form 
sliould shame our fear away! It is I, only I, wlio 
should step into the breach, but my poor life, alas, 
would not avail. O God, if my death could only 
atone for this that I have brought upon you all. 

[^7if6?' James. She falls at Ms feet,~\ 
Forgive, forgive me, James. 

Jas, (^Raising her up.^ Still the old refrain. 

Eve. Now we have you back again, what is there 
to bewail ? 

Jas, Yes, and we are not dead yet. Hello, what is 
that coming there ? A wagon full of white men with 
a white flag. 

\Enter Laery, Robt, Savage.] 

Savage. What's that, Jim ? (^Emigrants crowd 
around). 

F. Parsons. White men, thank God. 

Savage. Mormons, which is another thing. (Hold- 
ing up a little girl dressed in white as a signal of 
truce. Wagon with Jno. D. Lee, J. C. Haight and 
other Mormons in it, drives up.) 

Lee. Hello, Levi, w'at you doin' here ? 

Savage. I'm waitin' to hear wa't you want. 

Lee. Why, you commandin' this yere train? 

S. Yes, wa't do you want ? 

Lee. Wa'al, you air rather crusty to your friends. 
Any you folks git killed by the Injuns ? 

S. M}^ wife an' baby was killed by some infernal 
cowards that fired them first shots. . 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 231 

Lee, Tliat so ? Wa'al you see, Levi, ef you had 
married more wives like a good Mormin, that wouldn't 
come so hard ou you now, ha, ha, ha ! 

S. Lookee here, John Lee, you'd better not talk 
eny more like that, ra'ally now. You jess state your 
bizness right away. 

Lee. Oh, all right, Levi Savage, which you air 
savage this mornin' an' no mistake ; ef you don't 
want the intervention o' friens, blame you, you kin 
say so. Pears to me you orter to be durned glad 
fur it. 

Savage. That's fur us to say arter you have 
spoken ? 

Lee. Wa'al, mean' and the brethren up to Harmony 
an' Cedar hear o' you gittin' shet up here by the red- 
skins an' we came over to offer our help. We had 
hard work to git 'em to stop firin' an' open negotia- 
tions with the beseiged heroes. They're murderin' 
mad. They say you've gone an' pizened the spring. 

Sav. Wa'al, that beats the story of the wolf an' the 
lamb. You know that a hull barrel of arsenic 
wouldn't pizen that spring. Go ahead. 

Lee. Wa'al the long an' short of it is that they 
won't let you go on. An' their conditions is that you 
give up all your property, includin' yonr arms an' 
go back to where you come from. An' we promise, 
ef you accept them terms to see you safe through ez 
far ez Salt Lake. That's the whole on it, ain't it, 
Brother Haight. 

Haight. T reckon so, John. 

Sav. All right. Now thankin' you fer yer kind- 
ness, will you please drive off a piece while we hold 
a pow-wow about our answer ? 



232 EVELYN GBAT; OB, 

Lee, Wa'al don't be too long about it. 

\_Exit wagon with Mormons.] 

Sav, Now my friens, you have all heard the pro- 
posal. Wat do you say ? 

Emigrants. Accept, accept. 

F. Parsons. What other alternative is there? 
What do you say Captain ? 

Sav. I don't say neither yes or no. Let the majority 
settle it. 

Emigrants. We must accept. 

Sav. All right then. (^Motioning to Mormons^. I 
really don't see no other way. (^Re-enter wagon.^ 
The people have agreed to accept the offer o' the 
good Injuns. 

Lee. Good for them. Now then, march out an' 
stack yer arms. Then fall in ranks an' take the road 
northard. The wimmin an' the children go in front, 
the men behind. A body-guard o' forty o' our men '11 
bring up the rear. Hurry up an' no shilly-shallyin'. 

\_Exeunt Mormons. Emigrants leave the corral.] 

Jas. Whj% Captain, you are not going back ? 

Sav. Not much. Lookee here, I'll tell you. This 
is all Mormin doin's. There ain't enough Pah-Utes 
nur Pah-Vents aroun' here to tackle a party like 
ours without Mormin help or hirin'. An' what should 
they care wich way we go ? It was Mormins that 
attacked us. John Lee hasn't washed all the paint 
off his ugly face yit. I thought thej^ wouldn't let 
us git off so easy. But it's better fur our Arkansas 
friens to go. They're innocent, an' stan' a better 
show without us. I ain't goin'. I know wa't waits 
fur apostates in Salt Lake. As fur you, you mus' all 
judge fur yerselves. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTER]^ TURKS. 233 

Jas, We have nothing better to expect. We shall 
not go. 

Uve. O, never, never ! Let us die here. 

Jas. The only one that stands any chance is Biddy. 

Biddy. Mavrone orth, sir, to hear that same from 
you. 

Larry. Daranho sheery, ef I could wonst give the 
skinadhre bishup his gruel, it's me that '11 bite the 
turf wid the aisy heart. 

Bob. The emigrants are moving off. Where are 
the Mormons ? They'll come for us soon now. Let 
us all say good-bye to each other and then sell our 
lives dearly. [They all embrace each other ^ the men 
take positions in front of the women."] 

Jas. God bless you, Bob, if I go first,don't let her 
fall into their hands. 

Eve. [^Smilingly showing a knife.'] Never fear, 
dear heart, we will go together. Stand by my side, 
mamma. 

Mrs Gr. God forgive me, and hasten the end. 

Bob. It is a tragedy after all. Miss Lucy. 

Lucy. O, horrible. Yes, a real one. 

Sav. It looks as though they've forgot us. See the 
Mormins have closed up the rear. Thank God, our 
friends are out of it. \VoUey of musketry^ war- 
whoop of Indians^ shrieks of emigrants.] Great God 
they're killing the hull train. 

Enter Lee and Haight with Mormons and Indians. 

Lee. Where are the traitors ? Yonder boys. Down 
on 'em. \JJrges Mormons and Indians forward.] 

Larry. Come out from behint 'em, ye garran, an' 
oi'll annigulate ye. \^Shots. James, Larby, Savage 



234 EVELYN GEAY; OR, 

and Mrs. Gkay fall dead. Indians and Mormons 
rush forward.'^ 

Rob, \_Aiming»'] Come on, gentlemen. [^He is 
struck with a cluh from behind and falls,'] 

Biddy. Wurrah, wurrah. Now we's alone. God 
save her, accushla machree. [^Mormons and Indians 
rush upon them. The latter trample on the faces of the 
dead and scalp them. Haight dra^s LuCY oat of 
the crowd,^ 

Biddy, Me sowl to God an' the Virgin ! 

Lee. [Shoots her.] There you ole Irish watch-dog. 
You don't bark at me no more. (^To Indians closing 
around Evelyn.] Hans off, you wolves. Now sweet- 
heart, w'at a Providence you're left unteched for me. 
Come. \_Tries to seize her. She wounds him in the 
face. ) 

Lee, Thunderation ! [^Shoots her dead, ] 

Exeunt Mormons and Indians after robbing the bodies. 

Re-enter Haight. 

Lee. Hello, w'ere you been? 

Haight O, jess had a little love-scene with the purty 
actress. You orter seen her beggin' fur her life 
arterwards. Finest actin' of her life, wich I had to 
cut shorji with a club. But you're bleeding from 
your cheek like a hog. Who done that ? Did the 
lovely Evelyn kiss you there? 

Lee. Yes, with that knife. An' I got mad an' 
shot her. O, wa't a everlasting fool ! All this fur 
nothing, all this, all this. 

Haight, Are they all used up ? 

Lee. Every las' one. Jess hear them red devils. 



THE VICTIMS OF OUR WESTERN TURKS. 235 

UaigJit. Brigham orter be satisfied. 

Lee. Brigham be hanged. Say, Haight, this is 
awful. 

Haight, I should say so. Were you going, 
John ? 

Lee. Home, an' mighty quick. I can't stan' this* 

Haight So am I. Lord what'll come o' this ? 

[^Exeunt.'] 

Robert [^Struggling into a sitting posture and lean- 
ing against a wagon wheef] 

My skull is broken and my scalp is gone. 

Truly the workshop seems beyond repair. 

Why should I drag my mangled consciousness 

Out of the limbo wherein I have lain, 

Back into such a world and such a scene ? 

Perhaps it is to write a live report 

Of this unheard-of massacre unto 

A higher Chief. Exciting sure it were. 

Alas. He saw it all and must respond 

Or all is naught. Vengeance is His! 'tis well. 

He sees, has seen for fifty centuries 

Since Cain's day. He knows. Even so, 'tis well. 

But what of thee, my loved America, 

Who harborest unknown in hidden lap 

This ghastly thing, whereat the devils laugh 

Can no one help thee expiate this curse? 

Ye Mountains, gazing on it sombrely. 

Will ye not quake the' unnatural secret forth 

With sudden, thundering, convulsive crack? 

Thou innocent, laughing Sky, dost thou not hang 

Eternal crape around thee, and thou Sun, 

Rising unconscious o'er the hills, wilt thou 



236 EVELYN GRAY; 07?, 

Not turn aghast unto the east again 
At such a sight ? O God, that I should view 
This ruin ere I go, these loved forms, 
The noblest victims of our Western Turks. 
There in the middle, still the heart of all. 
That fairest English lily, fairest now. 
Pillowed in death upon her lover's breast. 
We could not guard thee. It is well. She went 
Unstained. The savages have even spared 
Her golden hair, which flutters in the breeze. 
Why do I linger here ? O, haste my soul 
Their spirits wait for me. I hear them call. 
Life, thought and motive glide away. All strife 
Is done. The world recedes — a dream — a shade 
I feel the wafting of another air. 
A glad farewell to this. My friends, I come. 

[Dies.] 



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HECKMAN 

BINDERY INC. 

^^^ DEC 85 







^=5^ N. MANCHESTER, 
5^^^ INDIANA 46962 









LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




